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The first day...

Sunday, November 28, 2010

..of the rest of my life.

I have been silent for a while but there has been no particular reason, it´s just tha "adding a blog entry" is about the last of my "spark chores" and I have seldom got so far for the past month.

I am almost finished moving. I still have a chair, a "poodle dryer (big hair dryer for grooming dogs) and a guest spar foldable bed left to transport here. Well, my piano forte and a big cupboard is also remaining but I will leave that until I find some good way to get them here without dying... and for the cupboard I might try to sell it because it seems as I won´t need it here.

It is stormy outside today, I can see the birds fighting against the wind when they are approaching the birdfeeder outside my kitchen window. I got SO many birds among then "domherrar" that are so winter... I have to go look for a picture:

The house is great although it makes me a little nervous because it has not been cared for for many years. The wallpapers are stained, dirty and with a lot of holes in them, the door handles are worn as the window locks and there are e a lot of small things to fix. Luckily I am quite a "handyman" myself and the faults so far are not fatal.

But I managed to crush the oven door with a book shelf the other day... that is the result when I try to do everything myself, the bookshelf fell over when I was moving it and hit the stove and the oven door so bad that it fell into a zillion pieces. The oven still works, the inner door is intact but I hope there are a spare part t buy because I do not want to buy an new stove... although there are a lot on second hand market since people throw out perfectly good stoves because they want induction or other modernity's... my nephew offered me one because he had his kitchen handicap suited and therefore had the "normal" stove removed, it´s just that my stove is wider than normal so I can not just change it.

I had neglected AA meetings to get time to move and I can feel it because my anxiety raises when I don´t go to meetings. Anxiety is a bad habit of mine and I will have to work it.

Yesterday was my birthday, I did not have the energy to organize a party. The result was friends and relatives dropping in all day and I fed them with cake and did not have any proper food myself all day, it is very obvious to me that one of my great problems is that I neglect myself as soon as other people claim my attention. I need to address this but I do not know how really.

That will be another blog. This one I will end with a picture of firewood... not the staple I got from my friends as a birthday present but one similar to it. Pure birch wood, very dry and very much, I have the BEST friends a person can have. It is stapled on my back porch, very convenient to carry inside when needed. As for example on a stormy day like this!

Thanks for reading!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SILLYHP1953
    First of all, Happy Birthday one day late! Getting moved into a new house is a pretty good gift! I loved it when I had a woodstove for heat, wish I had an alternate source now besides electricity. I do not like being dependent on that. You sound good, and I think you are honest enough to not sound good if you weren't. CHRISTURTLE is right about how far you've come. I'm glad you have such good friends.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon Phyllis
    3621 days ago
    emoticon Happy belated Birthday!
    3621 days ago
    Happy belated birthday!! Asking for help is hard, I had to learn to do it. One things that helped me was realizing I was robbing them of the blessing of helping! Keep up the good work!
    3621 days ago
    Happy Belated Birthday!! Sounds like a great day with friends and family dropping in to wish you well.

    CONGRATS on your move, sounds like you have done an amazing job and mostly on your own...what an incredible woman you are!!

    Hope you can find a new oven door soon. I think you are right if you have trouble finding a replacement due to size you can probably find a second hand one that people have abandoned to upgrade to newer things.

    Hope you have a great weekend!
    3621 days ago
  • DSJB9999
    Happy Birthday for yesterday.

    Don't be afraid (or too proud) to ask for help/support from your friends.
    You are good to others and they will want to help you too.

    Don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing fantastically well!

    Keep smiling and have a great week.

    Donna x
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3622 days ago
    Hello Meddy!
    It sounds like you have accomplished all the hard stuff....#1 getting started on getting healthy #2 Identifying your bad habits, fragile states, and mental red flags

    THAT'S HUGE STUFF! You can make improvements and grow and better yourself because you know where to start and all the support is here to help!

    You are doing great! Don't forget to make YOU a priority and do something nice for yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! You deserve it! That lesson is the best gift a friend has ever given me! I easily say NO to things that don't support, nurture, or challenge me to improve myself and/or things I don't really want to do. It's empowering!

    Have a great week!
    3622 days ago
    You are doing so well! You have managed to move house and almost completely empty the old one. You have found places for everything you took to the new house, and you managed to keep Sparking through all that! You are an inspiration to us all about what hard work, determination and never saying 'I can't!' can achieve.

    I am like you, I hate having to ask for help, would rather work myself till I'm completely exhausted to do something that someone else could do in a quarter the time it takes me to do. I hope you can find a replacement door for your oven, or if not, find a good used one for sale which will be the right size to replace yours.

    I think you have wonderful friends, to give you something so practical as firewood. They are the kind of gifts I prefer, something I can make use of. To have it all stacked on your back porch so you don't even have to go out in the stormy weather to get more for inside is such an added bonus.

    Although this is a day late, I know you had a happy birthday from your blog, but I want to wish you a year ahead filled with good health and happiness and lots of special times with your beautiful daughter, and success in your work. You have made such huge improvements in your life this past year, and if you read your earlier blogs and compare them with your more recent ones, you will come to realize just how much your life has changed for the better.

    Be proud of what you have achieved my wonderful Spark friend,
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3622 days ago
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