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Losing hope...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Yesterday started great. My business edition was printed and it looks so great! I am really proud and happy because it is my creation and the this was my third –one left this year – and the second in the new format, and it was improved ... then I drove and spoke to the owners of my seminar project and we agreed how to handle the fact that we have not been able to get many women to attend. Felt great because I have done the best I can and can´t do more. And in the afternoon I had one of those seminars, and there were ten women attending – which is success compared to the others, and it was interesting and inspiring and my day was perfect..
--and then I talked to my daughters teacher who had requested a private talk... it seems as my daughter has a hard time to concentrate and talks too much in the class room. She interferes and interrupts and although she is trying she can´t concentrate r stay still.

My conclusion is that she needs to move to me, but her way of showing her discomfort is not going to have any impact on her father. So I am powerless in this, but it makes me really really heartbroken. I simply don´t know what to do, there is no way I can use my ordinary solution and act myself out of this. The pain is great and I suffer. I also feel as if I have abandoned her, and that it is my fault that she is unhappy.

I am trying to practise faith and trust that it will be well. But for the moment I feel totally heartbroken and deserted
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    emoticon and prayers.
    3650 days ago
  • SILLYHP1953
    I feel your pain but don't know how to help other than just being here and letting you know I care. I do know that you being miserable will not help your daughter. Feel your heartbroken feelings, really feel them, and then forgive yourself. Yeah, a lot easier said than done. I am so sorry you aren't able to be with your daughter as much as you and she want. You never know when things might change, being the very best person you can be will send that message out to the universe and that is then what you will attract.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Phyllis
    3651 days ago
    That sounds like me from age 7-10 or 11. That is when I started playing music in school. This is not your fault. Listen to some music, go for a walk, do the things that work for you. Your child is more resilient than you know!
    Peace and love to you.
    3651 days ago
    I agree - make an appt with your daughter's dr. I do not know how old your daughter is but a sensory screening through OT services would be a good place to start ( is she easily distracted by her surroundings? does she chew on things clothing, pen tops, likes deep pressure?) and a screening for ADD/ADHD which is filled out by parents and teachers....it would be good to rule both of these things out and then looking academically to see if these are avoidance behaviors due to the work being too challenging...its hard to say because your blog didn't go into specifics....
    3651 days ago
    Congrats on a another successful business edition. Something to be very proud of. I am glad to hear that you had ten women in your seminar from what you said that is a wonderful success! Keep up the great work.

    I am so sorry to hear your daughter continues to have troubles in school. While I don't disagree her behaviour could easily be due to circumstances there can also be other reasons for her struggles. Please talk to her Dr. about what the teacher is describing she could very well have something else going on with her. At least this way she can be assessed by a medical professional. It would also do her some good to have some counselling to deal with all of her feelings about what is going on. This may lead to you having an expert opinion as to whom should have custody and what is in her best interest. This is an objective opinion and may carry some weight. Not knowing how things came to be what they are this may not be helpful. Anyway something to consider.

    Hang in there!
    3651 days ago
    I left a message for you on your SparkPage. You are not alone! emoticon
    3651 days ago
    Hoping things turn around for you both soon. emoticon
    3651 days ago
    I am sorry that you are feeling this stress today. I know that when it comes to children, we try to take on their problems. That is a normal parent response.

    Yes, we can fight some of their battles, but not all of them. Feel confident that you have given your child the necessary tools to live a good life, but not a perfect one.

    May God richly bless you, today and always,
    3651 days ago
    I wish I knew what to say that would provide the key. Your daughter may need this stage to get through what is bothering her. You will continue to do the best you can. I can hear how much you love her.
    3651 days ago
    I know how hard it can be and how helpless you feel. Don't feel guilty, you are doing all you can to have everything there for her - you have bought a house so she will have somewhere to live, to be happy, and to know is permanent. It's not you, don't for a moment think that. I'm sure she knows you love her, of course she does, she has seen how important she is in your life by your time at that camp with her, helping all the young campers and making sure they were having a good time.

    Don't lose hope, and don't lose faith. I will never lose faith in you, and I know how much you have done to benefit your daughter in the future. No more tears, ok? They only make you feel worse, and I've cried enough about my girls when they were young and living with their father to know. Instead, go do something, take a long bath, watch a favorite movie, something that you know will help you relax. Try to put it all out of your mind till morning. I know that sounds impossible, but whenever you begin to think about the problem tell yourself 'I'll think about it in the morning, not now'. Think instead of your wonderful new house, all the good things it is going to mean for you.

    Tomorrow morning when you wake, you may well be surprised that suddenly it isn't such an impossibly big issue to deal with. My mother used to tell me things always seem better in the morning, and at first I never believed her, but she was right. Somehow, during sleep, our brain seems to start looking for ways to make all those problems a little easier, and what seemed hopeless isn't quite so bad next morning. There is a way around this my wonderful friend, and you will discover it, because you are so resourceful and so clear thinking and you have overcome so many obstacles.

    Its not going to be solved overnight, or in a day, but little by little it will work out as its meant to - for the best result for your beautiful daughter. Have faith, believe that you can cope and you will cope. Maybe if you stay in contact with the teacher who was kind enough to let you know of the problem she may have some idea what has suddenly caused the problem, It can't hurt to ask her, and at least she will know you are doing all you can to make your daughter's life as easy, as happy and as settled as possible under the circumstances.

    No more crying now, its time to go make a hot drink, sit down calmly and convince yourself you will work on the problem tomorrow. Then go do something you enjoy, no matter what it is, no matter how silly, go stand outside and blow bubbles, if that's what it takes to make you smile a little, whatever it takes... You are not alone in this, you have friends who you may never have met, but who will support you in every move you make. I am one of them, and I have complete faith in your ability to do whatever is needed for your daughter.

    Hugs and prayers, and lots of good wishes, from me to you, my wonderful friend,
    3651 days ago
    I have no solutions for you, but I did bring along some hugs! emoticon It's hard to let go of things we have no control over... but it's important for us. Faith and trust... as you said.

    Praying for your peace and working through the pain.
    3651 days ago
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