Day 365; 9/1/10 Happy Anniver to me for re-learning how to care for myself.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Wow, I thought the summer was hard, but upon reading my last post I see it was hard. And it only got more intense for the rest of the summer. Something gave, it was my new lifestyle. I have put on 15 lbs from going way off track.
But here is the good news, I used my 1 yr anniver. to Begin-Again. And that is just what i have done this week. I love the poem Begin Again & I feel it always bears repeating at the bottom.
I am amazed as I look back on the passed 365 days how much I have accomplished. Yes, there are still brain issues. However, I made & keep re-making the choice to thrive where I am able. Of course, I have had set backs---but to begin again and go forward. Is very empowering, not to give up just keep moving forward.
1 yr ago today my new lifestyle began. I was able to ride my bike 2 miles at a pace of 3mph.
Weighed 235.6 lbs.
I could barely move with any comfort. I wasn't sure I was going to make it. One meal became 2 that turned into a day, that turned into another & then before I knew it a week had passed. I couldn't exercise much beside being out of shape; I was still in pain from my injury & in Physical Therapy.
My real exercise began with my Wii Fit Plus game. I stepped & stepped for all I was worth. I then moved up to jogging with my dog in the house around my couch. The dog loved it; my mom thought it was too cute. It was hard, but I was determined to take back the parts of my life my brain would allow.
WHAT I DO OR DON'T DO, DICTATES MY HEALTH
NEVER GIVE UP
October, biopsy for Cancer-scary. Everything was clean, thankfully. It was all I could do not to comfort eat that day. I was exhausted & vulnerable. I succeeded.
Food would call out my name, but I would clean or move something to ignore it. One night I dreamed I ate some tiny chip or cookie while in my kitchen. I woke myself up screaming, "NO!" lol. The next nite, I dreamed I was in a long evening gown with a V-dip in the back. It was red. It was really upsetting-no one recognized me at my new size, lol again (because this was only a dream).
November I learned celebration don't have to be about the food. It can be about the people the food is just incidental. I was at a wedding, instead of filing my face with food. I got the bride & groom some food; they were ever so touch & grateful. So was I! November is also the month I broke "Onederland". It was very exciting to be below 200lbs. I'm heading toward pre-injury weight soon.
Thanksgiving, talk about a day to arrange your world-this seemed as long as a week due to all the thinking. No support from KP, they closed for the week. Yikes. I did it. I used it as an opportunity to serve my Grandma (turns out her last). I was blessed & sneaking about what I ate that day. No one was the wiser!
Toffee Season & Christmas time all rolled into one. You see I am a candy maker. And I happen to make my favorite candy the best I know. I didn't partake, not one nibble. My family were the tasters to see if a batch was good. I made it; they sold it; my math skills are still offline.
SOME PEOPLE DREAM OF SUCCESS; OTHERS WAKE UP & WORK AT IT. YOU CAN DO IT! -Denise Austin
GO THE DISTANCE CONNECTIONS ACCOUNTABILITY
CALORIES IN/CALORIES OUT
The middle of December brought on new adjustments. I have my 1st solid meal since Sept 1, 2010. It is all I can do to get it down me, 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 cup of cooked veggies. I sat in front of that plate for 2 hrs eating it. I had to keep taking breaks, lol. By the end of December I am finally below or at my weight before my head injury 182 lbs, yes!
By the end of December I have lost 50 lbs. Wow! Arranging my world for success was the only way that happened, woohoo!
IF THERE IS NO WIND, ROW-Latin Proverb
IF OPPORTUNITY DOESN'T KNOCK, BUILD A DOOR-Milton Berle, comic
January, the new year-I didn't have a new year's resolution; I usually don't. This year I reversed planned that I was already facing Dec 31, 2010. It was very enlightenly to describe my goals of fitness, mental health, inspiring others. It made it simplier to create a path of success. So, my 1st thing to do joined RFW-marvelous class on run/walk intervals.
January is also the 1st time I allow myself to buy a new piece of clothing-a simple waist jacket. Up until then I had been shopping in my own closet. The clothes were not so wonderful as I gained weight, but on the way down they became the most beautiful clothing. And lets face it, I didn't really remember them anyway; it was like new clothes everyday. At the end of January, I began riding my city bike to RFW (my workout). I got up to 10 mph, very exciting since I just re-trained my brain how to ride a bike.
By February, I am in full swing of running & eating "regular food". I am using the SMART skills and it is working. The simple act of monitoring can change a behavior. Why monitor: accountability, detects pattern, puts up barrier to mind tricks, provides visual reminder/reinforcement, no guess work & you can feel proud of your job well done!
REMEMBER, WE ALL STUMBLE, EVERYONE OF US. THAT'S WHY WE GO HAND IN HAND-Emily Kimbrough
Are you goals: Achievalbe, Measurable, Observable & Specific? I have been virtually walking, running or biking to Cedar Hill, Texas where James lives. I've always wanted to visit. I am surprised how much my exercise has increased; I am up to biking 12 mph!
"Begin Again" by the way if anyone knows the author please remind me, thanks!
You took the right road and ended up in the wrong place.
You reached the top of a mountain only to find yourself at the bottom of a new one.
You dotted every "i" and forgot to cross your "t's".
You loved with all of your hear and it got broken anyway.
You won the race but they gave first place to someone else.
You followed your North Star and ended up at the South Pole.
You achieved a big dream.
I found this blog unfinished 10/5/10. I wanted to post it anyway; it is a great example of success & failures (all a part of learning & living) Spark On, Susan