Well, as you all know, I had a bit of a rough weekend. My weekend usually starts on Friday and, as you can see from my blog from Saturday, I spent that day in a highly active state, which was not without its defaults (mainly, getting hurt). Here are my lovely bruises today from the fall on Friday. (Ugh, I can't believe I'm posting this. I *hate* my legs so...I apologize. Focus on the bruises! FOCUS!)
That top one, you can see, is right next to my inner knee. There's another on my calf. I have no real clue how these ended up here after that fall but, whatever. They don't hurt anymore but they look ROUGH! (They sure did hurt Saturday and Sunday!)
See my spotted leg? That's what hurts more than anything, even today!
The theme of the day - Rest, rest, rest...well, sorta! And ANIMAL FARM!
Saturday started off in pain. I struggle with soreness from my exercise most weeks, and I usually push through it and rarely even bother to mention it. But the pain this weekend was from HEAD to TOE! There was no working around it. I started to tease Hubs that I couldn't even do hand and foot exercises because of the pain in my second toe on the left foot as well as the soreness from twisting my ankle the day before, and because of my thumb, which has been really sore for weeks now. No clue why, btw. So I vowed to rest. And everyone confirmed it.
Ethan - (in a silly voice) "I'm here to serve you ma'am! Whatever you need, just yell and I'll get it!" *lol* By rest I didn't mean I couldn't move, just that I wasn't exercising. I explained that to him and he said, "Oh! Okay!" and then bopped away. Silly boy. Shane - "You've done enough. Just rest."
We did go to the grocery store before the OSU game and, without a list, I did an excellent job shopping. Most everything came from the produce department because I've really been craving fruits and veggies lately! I got green beans and peppers and a pineapple and grapes! YUM! By the time we were about to leave the boys all were hungry (and I was too) and the kids suggested buying these fish sandwiches that Krogers has. I've been craving a good fish sandwich so I figured - what the heck? It was crap. I took a bite to stop my stomach from causing a headache and then went home to make myself a turkey sandwich on wheat. (It even had cheese on it! EWW! I hate fish and cheese, it just doesn't seem right together!)
All of this later had to be taken back when we headed over to the football BBQ at the house of one of Ethan's teammates. See, there are sometimes warnings that come attached to invitations here in good 'ole WV. This one started out, "Is THAT your car? Do you have anything else?" *lol* The hill/driveway to the house was pretty much straight up in one spot. No way my girl Betty (our van) was going to make it up, especially because she needs a muffler touch up right now. Hubs' car would have definitely not made it up. Their solution was for us to park at the grandparents' place and give him a call so he could pick us up. No problem. Problem! *lol* No cell reception.
So what did we do? We hoofed it up the hill (the other lady who said she was going to have to try wouldn't even attempt it! *LOL*). I didn't think it was honestly going to be that hard since I'm in much better shape, but that hill was a PITA! Serious! I felt like I was still 466 pounds and couldn't walk. I nearly gagged trying to catch my breath. My feet were so slanted coming up the hill I thought I was simply going to slide back down! We made it up though and, thankfully, (a benefit to my fitness level) my breathing came back to normal before we got too close to anyone for them to hear me panting like a rabid dog! The bonus of living on top of a hill like that? A gorgeous setting! Up away from everything. It was beautiful.
And the best thing about their house was that it was beautifully hand-constructed (6 years and still not done, but what is done is absolutely breathtaking!).
This photo can not do it justice. Even inside was all wood, and one of those antler chandeliers too! It was beautiful! A true WV cabin!
Also, this property gives one the ability to house an entire zoo full of animals! Horses, two dogs, a turkey, two ducks, at least 1 chicken, and I have no clue what else they might've had inside!
(This pup reminded me of the little snippy puffball in The Dark Crystal.)
We had a great time, really. I kept updating everyone on various football scores (thank you ESPN ScoreCard app!) and we talked a lot about football and other random things. Let me say that I have a hard time making friends with parents of other kids. I often think they won't like me or something. Heck, it's the reason I have a difficult time making friends period. So Hubs and I have really been trying to attend all these football functions so that we can really get to know other people around us and feel a part of the group. Too often I feel like an outsider, not because of anything that they do, but because I'm too shy to butt in until I've been around them a while. (My fault, not theirs.) Most of them are great people.
As for food, I had a hot dog, on a bun, with mustard, and a half a cheeseburger. I ate about a tablespoon or two of baked beans and about a tablespoon of potato salad, with 4 cool ranch doritoes. To drink I had water and diet rite. (And had stomach problems again later - maybe Splenda and I no longer get along! Me and my old friend may have to part ways!) Hubs kept telling me to let go a little and just enjoy the food. He's been getting on me lately about taking it so seriously and kicking my own butt so bad. He's also been teasing me when I slip up instead of hounding me ...instead of "Are you sure you want that?" he says, "Yeah! Let's fatten you up!"
We had a wonderful time until Ethan starts yelling at another kid and I have to stop the screaming of, "Just freakin' leave me alone, Sam!" Come to find out, Sam hauled off and punched my son in the nose because he had something that Sam wanted. BTW...these kids are EIGHT!, not two. Stupid kid! Everyone got him ice and voiced to us how wrong it was to have happened, and then Sam disappeared for about 10 minutes only to resurface without ever apologizing. (That is NOT the way I would have handled the situation as a mother, I'm just saying!) Ethan was good, a little bump on the nose and a fun story to tell about how he was a victim of violence. *rolls eyes* Boys!
We left around 7pm or so. We wanted to get off the hill before it was dark and get home in time for the WVU game. (They ended up driving us down the hill so we didn't have to hoof it again.) Unfortunately, WVU lost to LSU. It was a tough game, a game of defenses, and their defense was just better than ours. *sigh* Hubs proceeded to make his greatest attempt at finishing off a 12-pack of Yuengling Black & Tan bottles while I fought with my straightening irons.
I won. (BTW - Another thing that's been stressing me about this whole scale issue is that I've been feeling and seeing myself as thinner in the past few weeks, but the scale isn't reflecting it so I start to doubt myself and my own perception.)
After the game it was off to bed for me while Hubs watched a UFC fight. (I grew up in a violent household so the idea of watching people beat the crap out of each other is not my idea of entertainment!)
Theme of the day - ANGRY and bitter
I woke up to the disappointment of the scale. I then proceeded to eat my regular healthy breakfast, and, just out of spite, followed it with a couple bowls of cereal. For lunch - Kraft Mac N Cheese, which I had been craving since April but is a major no-no (I cannot resist eating and eating and eating of this horrible-for-me food so it stays in the back of the pantry. I won't even let the kids cook it unless I'm out of the house!). I didn't overeat it though since I had to share with both my boys. For dinner? Salmon with canned veggies. And then it started...
While the salmon was cooking I cut up a bunch of veggies - fresh green beans, 3 beautiful different colored bell peppers, red potatoes, onions - coated them in some olive oil, salt, pepper, and thyme and put them in the oven. I have a huge bowl of amazing roasted veggies in the fridge for the week! (Of course, I had to have a small bowl of them when they were done!)
After eating our salmon, of which I couldn't finish and gave to Ethan, I found mysel back in the kitchen mixing 1 lb of ground turkey with 1 lb of ground chicken for our Tator Tot Casserole. It's an easy fallback that everyone LOVES in the house! Never a complaint...except when I say there's no more! *lol* I cooked up a full double batch of the stuff and, while Dexter was on, portioned out a little for myself and portioned out the rest for the fridge. (I later went back and ate another serving of it.)
So all the while I'm both rebelling against my 2 pound gain and ignoring it. I felt like the whole "left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing" thing was going on. It was weird...but I didn't feel stuffed or uncomfortable. Maybe I was hungry? *shrug*
I did end up cleaning a lot of the kitchen (Hubs even commented that it looked really good!) and then played football with the boy later, even though it was still sprinkling. So I did what I set out to do for the day, plus more. I didn't count or track a thing, and I don't intend to. To hell with it! One day of not killing myself over calorie counts and how much I burned. I needed one day!
Now I know this has been a long blog, but it was an emotional weekend and there's one more puzzle piece to add to it. Yesterday, after the business of everything, after the scale disappointment, after falling down, after feeling out of shape going up that hill, after all of it, I had a break down when I realized my son had used all the laundry detergent and didn't bother to tell me. (I wasn't even sure I had clean underwear for today! --- I did...ONE PAIR! PHEW!) I laid down in my bed and just started to cry. I had talked to Hubs earlier about the scale issue and he had hugged me and told me that it was okay, but I was still broken about everything that had been happening (plus, it's still TOM for crying out loud, and it's been over a week!). Hubs laid down beside me, pulled me into him, and told me that I was NOT a big, fat failure. He told me that I was amazing and that I would get there before I was 50 years old (*lol*). He told me that, no matter what, he was proud of me. And he thanked me for sharing all of the nonsense in my head with him instead of bottling it up like I normally do. I'm still working through the emotions, but I feel better today (other than lack of sleep because of a stupid cat) after really talking it all out (even some stuff I WON'T tell all of you...see I'm not always 100% raw and honest, I can't be!).
So, all in all, my theme for the weekend was summed up in that one word - compassion. Sometimes that's all we need. A sympathetic ear, and some compassion.