SP Premium


Weekend Update (with Pics) - Theme: Compassion

Monday, September 27, 2010

Well, as you all know, I had a bit of a rough weekend. My weekend usually starts on Friday and, as you can see from my blog from Saturday, I spent that day in a highly active state, which was not without its defaults (mainly, getting hurt). Here are my lovely bruises today from the fall on Friday. (Ugh, I can't believe I'm posting this. I *hate* my legs so...I apologize. Focus on the bruises! FOCUS!)

That top one, you can see, is right next to my inner knee. There's another on my calf. I have no real clue how these ended up here after that fall but, whatever. They don't hurt anymore but they look ROUGH! (They sure did hurt Saturday and Sunday!)

See my spotted leg? That's what hurts more than anything, even today!

The theme of the day - Rest, rest, rest...well, sorta! And ANIMAL FARM!

Saturday started off in pain. I struggle with soreness from my exercise most weeks, and I usually push through it and rarely even bother to mention it. But the pain this weekend was from HEAD to TOE! There was no working around it. I started to tease Hubs that I couldn't even do hand and foot exercises because of the pain in my second toe on the left foot as well as the soreness from twisting my ankle the day before, and because of my thumb, which has been really sore for weeks now. No clue why, btw. So I vowed to rest. And everyone confirmed it.

Ethan - (in a silly voice) "I'm here to serve you ma'am! Whatever you need, just yell and I'll get it!" *lol* By rest I didn't mean I couldn't move, just that I wasn't exercising. I explained that to him and he said, "Oh! Okay!" and then bopped away. Silly boy. Shane - "You've done enough. Just rest."

We did go to the grocery store before the OSU game and, without a list, I did an excellent job shopping. Most everything came from the produce department because I've really been craving fruits and veggies lately! I got green beans and peppers and a pineapple and grapes! YUM! By the time we were about to leave the boys all were hungry (and I was too) and the kids suggested buying these fish sandwiches that Krogers has. I've been craving a good fish sandwich so I figured - what the heck? It was crap. I took a bite to stop my stomach from causing a headache and then went home to make myself a turkey sandwich on wheat. (It even had cheese on it! EWW! I hate fish and cheese, it just doesn't seem right together!)

All of this later had to be taken back when we headed over to the football BBQ at the house of one of Ethan's teammates. See, there are sometimes warnings that come attached to invitations here in good 'ole WV. This one started out, "Is THAT your car? Do you have anything else?" *lol* The hill/driveway to the house was pretty much straight up in one spot. No way my girl Betty (our van) was going to make it up, especially because she needs a muffler touch up right now. Hubs' car would have definitely not made it up. Their solution was for us to park at the grandparents' place and give him a call so he could pick us up. No problem. Problem! *lol* No cell reception.

So what did we do? We hoofed it up the hill (the other lady who said she was going to have to try wouldn't even attempt it! *LOL*). I didn't think it was honestly going to be that hard since I'm in much better shape, but that hill was a PITA! Serious! I felt like I was still 466 pounds and couldn't walk. I nearly gagged trying to catch my breath. My feet were so slanted coming up the hill I thought I was simply going to slide back down! We made it up though and, thankfully, (a benefit to my fitness level) my breathing came back to normal before we got too close to anyone for them to hear me panting like a rabid dog! The bonus of living on top of a hill like that? A gorgeous setting! Up away from everything. It was beautiful.

And the best thing about their house was that it was beautifully hand-constructed (6 years and still not done, but what is done is absolutely breathtaking!).

This photo can not do it justice. Even inside was all wood, and one of those antler chandeliers too! It was beautiful! A true WV cabin!

Also, this property gives one the ability to house an entire zoo full of animals! Horses, two dogs, a turkey, two ducks, at least 1 chicken, and I have no clue what else they might've had inside!

(This pup reminded me of the little snippy puffball in The Dark Crystal.)

We had a great time, really. I kept updating everyone on various football scores (thank you ESPN ScoreCard app!) and we talked a lot about football and other random things. Let me say that I have a hard time making friends with parents of other kids. I often think they won't like me or something. Heck, it's the reason I have a difficult time making friends period. So Hubs and I have really been trying to attend all these football functions so that we can really get to know other people around us and feel a part of the group. Too often I feel like an outsider, not because of anything that they do, but because I'm too shy to butt in until I've been around them a while. (My fault, not theirs.) Most of them are great people.

As for food, I had a hot dog, on a bun, with mustard, and a half a cheeseburger. I ate about a tablespoon or two of baked beans and about a tablespoon of potato salad, with 4 cool ranch doritoes. To drink I had water and diet rite. (And had stomach problems again later - maybe Splenda and I no longer get along! Me and my old friend may have to part ways!) Hubs kept telling me to let go a little and just enjoy the food. He's been getting on me lately about taking it so seriously and kicking my own butt so bad. He's also been teasing me when I slip up instead of hounding me ...instead of "Are you sure you want that?" he says, "Yeah! Let's fatten you up!"

We had a wonderful time until Ethan starts yelling at another kid and I have to stop the screaming of, "Just freakin' leave me alone, Sam!" Come to find out, Sam hauled off and punched my son in the nose because he had something that Sam wanted. BTW...these kids are EIGHT!, not two. Stupid kid! Everyone got him ice and voiced to us how wrong it was to have happened, and then Sam disappeared for about 10 minutes only to resurface without ever apologizing. (That is NOT the way I would have handled the situation as a mother, I'm just saying!) Ethan was good, a little bump on the nose and a fun story to tell about how he was a victim of violence. *rolls eyes* Boys!

We left around 7pm or so. We wanted to get off the hill before it was dark and get home in time for the WVU game. (They ended up driving us down the hill so we didn't have to hoof it again.) Unfortunately, WVU lost to LSU. It was a tough game, a game of defenses, and their defense was just better than ours. *sigh* Hubs proceeded to make his greatest attempt at finishing off a 12-pack of Yuengling Black & Tan bottles while I fought with my straightening irons.

I won. (BTW - Another thing that's been stressing me about this whole scale issue is that I've been feeling and seeing myself as thinner in the past few weeks, but the scale isn't reflecting it so I start to doubt myself and my own perception.)

After the game it was off to bed for me while Hubs watched a UFC fight. (I grew up in a violent household so the idea of watching people beat the crap out of each other is not my idea of entertainment!)

Theme of the day - ANGRY and bitter

I woke up to the disappointment of the scale. I then proceeded to eat my regular healthy breakfast, and, just out of spite, followed it with a couple bowls of cereal. For lunch - Kraft Mac N Cheese, which I had been craving since April but is a major no-no (I cannot resist eating and eating and eating of this horrible-for-me food so it stays in the back of the pantry. I won't even let the kids cook it unless I'm out of the house!). I didn't overeat it though since I had to share with both my boys. For dinner? Salmon with canned veggies. And then it started...

While the salmon was cooking I cut up a bunch of veggies - fresh green beans, 3 beautiful different colored bell peppers, red potatoes, onions - coated them in some olive oil, salt, pepper, and thyme and put them in the oven. I have a huge bowl of amazing roasted veggies in the fridge for the week! (Of course, I had to have a small bowl of them when they were done!)

After eating our salmon, of which I couldn't finish and gave to Ethan, I found mysel back in the kitchen mixing 1 lb of ground turkey with 1 lb of ground chicken for our Tator Tot Casserole. It's an easy fallback that everyone LOVES in the house! Never a complaint...except when I say there's no more! *lol* I cooked up a full double batch of the stuff and, while Dexter was on, portioned out a little for myself and portioned out the rest for the fridge. (I later went back and ate another serving of it.)

So all the while I'm both rebelling against my 2 pound gain and ignoring it. I felt like the whole "left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing" thing was going on. It was weird...but I didn't feel stuffed or uncomfortable. Maybe I was hungry? *shrug*

I did end up cleaning a lot of the kitchen (Hubs even commented that it looked really good!) and then played football with the boy later, even though it was still sprinkling. So I did what I set out to do for the day, plus more. I didn't count or track a thing, and I don't intend to. To hell with it! One day of not killing myself over calorie counts and how much I burned. I needed one day!

Now I know this has been a long blog, but it was an emotional weekend and there's one more puzzle piece to add to it. Yesterday, after the business of everything, after the scale disappointment, after falling down, after feeling out of shape going up that hill, after all of it, I had a break down when I realized my son had used all the laundry detergent and didn't bother to tell me. (I wasn't even sure I had clean underwear for today! --- I did...ONE PAIR! PHEW!) I laid down in my bed and just started to cry. I had talked to Hubs earlier about the scale issue and he had hugged me and told me that it was okay, but I was still broken about everything that had been happening (plus, it's still TOM for crying out loud, and it's been over a week!). Hubs laid down beside me, pulled me into him, and told me that I was NOT a big, fat failure. He told me that I was amazing and that I would get there before I was 50 years old (*lol*). He told me that, no matter what, he was proud of me. And he thanked me for sharing all of the nonsense in my head with him instead of bottling it up like I normally do. I'm still working through the emotions, but I feel better today (other than lack of sleep because of a stupid cat) after really talking it all out (even some stuff I WON'T tell all of you...see I'm not always 100% raw and honest, I can't be!).

So, all in all, my theme for the weekend was summed up in that one word - compassion. Sometimes that's all we need. A sympathetic ear, and some compassion.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    If you think there's a difference - there's a difference! Sometimes the scale just likes to be stubborn!!! What a nice hubby you have to comfort you, my bf is not so hot on the supportive scale. He likes to think he is, but... crap will then come out of his mouth and I realize he has no conception or empathy for what it is to be anything other than skinny. So yay hubster for telling you you're beautiful and wonderful and thanking you for making a healthy change that involves him.
    3877 days ago
    Oh, sorry about your mishap & bruises ! You did AWESOME with that hill. Thank you for sharing and do you know what you are not alone, I had a similar day yesterday very upsetting (will be blogging about it). I am joining you with the TOM scale gain, every month is like that I can go up 5 pounds. It will be definately gone and more by next week. Your husband is a great guy for being there for you, to support you. Love your new picture, you look vivacious !
    3877 days ago
  • MENACE79
    yeah, I do this too... the scale is always up when it's TOM, and I am always at my most emotionally fragile. Recipe for disaster... you are not alone, and it will happen again most likely. But before it does happen again, things will get much, MUCH better.

    We all know the cycle. :)
    3877 days ago
    SO sorry to see those bruises and can totally sympathize with the frustration injury and that bane of my existence (the bathroom scale can bring) because I am the clumsiest person I know and because my scale is on a mission to detroy my self esteem right now. But I will not let it and neither will you! You had a busy weekend. You did a LOT. You made it up the hill and back down again. And the TOM will pass! Hand in:)
    3877 days ago
    You look great! Arnica for those bruises lady - I swear by it. I fell off a ladder last year putting plastic up on my windows and I was bruised from ankle to hip on both legs. The arnica took the bruising down within a week and made the pain go away too.
    3877 days ago
    When TOM is in town, the hormones go all crazy!! I feel for you about the scale issue, but isn't that normal when TOM is in town (at least that's what I'm hoping, TOM is due to pay me a visit soon...and I'm dreading it!)?

    You have an amazing family and you are a strong person. All you can do is take it one day at a time.

    Every day is a new day to start over! emoticon
    3877 days ago
  • MAIA2011
    I'm not a stalker (LOL) I just subscribed to your blog because your posts are all really good and thought-provoking. You really went outside your comfort zone this weekend and you have the bruises to prove it. That's awesome! Your family sounds cute and supportive (except, of course, the laundry detergent episode).

    One question, where the h^*( was that other kid's mom?
    3877 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7591204
    sweetie we all go through rough patches and have breakdowns or as i call them melt downs, but what do we do after said rough patch or melt down, get back up and face it again, why because we are stronger than one moment in time we are stronger than our emotions and whatever voices that lie inside of our heads have a choice they can either help us or take a hike because hindering doesnt work, we keep getting back up and coming back for more... what is a bruise or a cut other than a reminder that we live, we breathe, we heal... and we come back again and again and again for more

    emoticon emoticon
    3877 days ago
    Your hubs is so supportive... Hang on to that one, hun.

    And, believe me, I read this whole blog, but I won't write you a novel. You know how I feel about 'cha :)
    3877 days ago
  • _DASH_
    you look gorgeous in that photo, btw.

    and this: "(BTW - Another thing that's been stressing me about this whole scale issue is that I've been feeling and seeing myself as thinner in the past few weeks, but the scale isn't reflecting it so I start to doubt myself and my own perception.) "

    i have the SAME problem.
    are you measuring your inches though? I've lost 35.25 inches total off my body since the end of January... even though I've "only" lost 30 or so pounds so far. I feel like also the activities i'm doing are redistributing my body fat so i look a lot different - but the numbers aren't like super impressive. maybe that's happening to you too? you progress is DEFINITELY noticeable to me too.

    3877 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6721736
    girl you look totally amazing and beautiful!!
    3877 days ago
    Loved hearing about your weekend and seeing the pictures. Most of all, seeing you. You are really beautiful!!
    I love that you walked up that hill!!! That is soo awesome and what a challenge. The bruises are brutal looking, man!!

    I am most proud of you for pouring your heart out to your man, That is not always easy to do and he said just the right things. You got a winner there, MISSY!

    Love your humor, strength and determination but mostly the honesty. You are aweomse. Jan
    3877 days ago
    (Note: I love Yuengling Black & Tan, too. Only on very special occassions. I'm salivating now just thinking about drinking one. ~Sigh~)
    On my status, I made a resolution to myself only to weigh every other day. Too many fluctuations. Not good for my psyche.
    3877 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.