A Year Later...
Monday, September 06, 2010
A year later and I am back to the same weight I weighed this time last year. It is easy to get down on myself and talk about where I could be had a not quit the program and gained back 20 pounds, but it isn't very productive to go that route, so I will just be thankful that I have gotten it together in the past 60 days and dropped that 20 pounds back off. Now I can start looking forward to the real goal of getting back into a healthy weight range.
I am feeling a little discouraged today to only see a 0.8 loss for my weigh-in. I am actually 0.2 short of my 20 pounds by my birthday goal. Hopefully I can kick the 0.2 by Thursday. I imagine the chocolate chip cookie and the birthday cake I ate yesterday didn't help me realize my goal at weigh-in this morning. Either way, I joyfully wore a pair of favorite pants that I haven't work in probably 4 years yesterday and my wonderful mother commented to me when I arrived at her house that my pants were starting to look a little big! These pants?! This is the first time I have worn them in years! Guess it really is time to let go of the size 16's!! Yay for that!
I treated myself to the cookie with my Starbucks (Venti Americano, 25 calories) because I didn't realize that my mom had baked me a birthday cake for later in the evening. But really, what difference does it make?! My family was celebrating my birthday: how could I turn down my favorite birthday cake? It is the ongoing choices and actions that I make that make the difference. I have a Labor Day BBQ to attend today, so I intend to try to make the best choices while still enjoying myself. I never want to be heard saying, "Oh, I can't eat that!" That is NOT what this is all about. This is life. And my life involves good friends and good food at times. I also cannot live this portion of my life in restriction and denial, only to break down and altogether quit once I achieve some semblance of my goals.
Last year, shortly after my birthday, shortly after losing 50 pounds with Sparkpeople, I quit. It started out with leg pain and allowing myself to rest. And then I stopped logging in, stopped spinning the Spark wheel, and stopped making healthy choices. I hung out around this weight for the rest of the year, but after the first of this year, stress led me back to binge-eating which led the scale up and up and up. This year, it will be exciting to watch the scale continue to go down. I hope to reach my goal by the end of this year, but if I don't, as long as I stay on track, I will be proud of what I am accomplishing. Because in all truth, once I reach that scale number, the real work really begins: learning how to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle for the rest of my life.
Happy Labor Day!