The weight I used to think I was fat at sounds so good today..any of you been there?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Sometimes when some of my sparkfriends hit a new weight range like 180's or 170's or any of the ones I am not in yet...
I will comment in support and then say or think "AWWW the 180's I can't wait"
"Aww the 160's that is a dream"
I DID THIS TOO WHEN I WAS 221 and someone weighed 210... then I couldn't wait for 210 or ONDERLAND.....
Well today I noticed one of my sparkfriends is almost in the 150's....
and I smiled to myself and said that line again "AWW the 150's.... that is so skinny" LOL
The crazy thing is back years ago when I hit 150 I JOINED WEIGHT WATCHERS for the first time in my life!..
I thought I was so fat.... but I wasn't! I had always been 125 in high school and 150 seemed like I needed to go get help and so I joined WW!
I had 1 child that was about 3 yrs old and a girl I worked with said to me "I remember when you started here at work you were so small and you used to wear this one pair of jeans with so and so shirt and you were so cute!"
I loved this friend and she was slim and always worked at staying trim and thin and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I needed to go lose weight. She was 20 yrs older than me. She counted fat grams like nobodies business and everytime we ate something at work she would tell us how many fat grams were in it! LOL It annoyed some people but not me LOL
She didn't mean to hurt my feelings when she reminded me how skinny I used to be when I started that job, but secretly it did.
I took it to heart and I set out to fix my fat self!
I lost 20 lbs with WW and kept it off for several years (until I had another baby LOL)
BUT TODAY I look back and here is the kicker about all this:
WHEN I started there I weighed 108 and wore a size 2 ( I am 5'7" so a 2 is too thin)
I had just gone through a divorce and I never ate because of all the stress.....
Believe I did hit a day in my life where I started eating when I was stressed but at this time in my life... I did not eat or feed the stress or any emotions really.
I looked anorexic.
THE revelation... is this (SHE thought I looked good)
So therefore her perception of what weight I should be was already distorted!
I looked up to her and loved her to death... so I believed her perception.
Although I only lost 20 to get to 130 I always felt like she thought I was still a little overweight.... but my family assured me 130 was plenty thin for my frame! Plus my boss had a crush on me and I had learned that he liked superskinny women so therefore I DID NOT WANT TO GET SUPERSKINNY EVER AGAIN.... that way he would leave me alone and quit flirting!
My family dug out old pictures of me to show me what I had looked like at 108
and I asked them "WHO IS THAT" they were pictures of me standing with my back to the camera.... and I didn't know who that skinny person was....
It was me.... and I didn't know I looked THAT THIN!
TODAY August 27, 2010 I can say that 150 sounds like a dream....
AWW to be 150