The first day of the rest of my life
Friday, August 27, 2010
So I am starting again, full force. I have lost two pounds and gained 4 inches since the miscarriage last week. The doctor said I can start again without modification as soon as I am ready ~ I am SO ready! Back to my 10 pounds/month plan, starting with 30 Day Shred. I am not looking forward to 10 more days on level 1, but perhaps with more sweating and full involvement it won't be so repetitive and I will actually see results. I have no excuses now, I need to do this. What a horrible reason to lose a baby... because I'm too fat. Sometimes people's "helpful" (substitute hurtful) words can be motivating ~ this is one of those times.
'Lil Caz, I loved you, a lot. I know I told you I wasn't ready to be a mommy again, but I sure was looking forward to having you around, even if it changed my lifestyle of convenience. I am sorry that I wasn't healthy enough to sustain your life, but because of you I will become healthy enough to sustain mine. I love you and I miss having you to talk to.