Still Haven't Figured it Out....but Still Trying!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Or should this be entitled "Still Frustrated!"?
I haven't felt healthy for almost a year. The "cures" make me feel even less healthy...packing on weight because of fatigue or making me queasy so I stay out of the gym and eat foods that will hopefully make me feel better or whose taste can overcome the bad taste caused by the various medicines. Still not sleeping well, and losing so much hair that I marvel that I don't have bald spots. And I'm having sleep issues...again...
In the midst of all this, my doctor left her group practice to start one on her own, and I've been without guidance all summer. In the meantime, I was so sick to my stomach that I went to her old practice which resulted in blood tests that showed such low levels of iron and calcium that they sent me to a gastroenterologist to try to find a cause for my malabsorption issues.
So, at least now I know that I have a hiatal hernia. Although that doesn't explain most of my issues, it does explain some. I'll find out more (hopefully!) when the endoscopy biopsy results come in. From a completely separate procedure, I found that the fibroid my GYN found a couple of years ago has grown slightly, but still not enough to explain my lower abdominal pain.
In the meantime, I'm trying to get back to the gym regularly and I'm going on about my life. But, the 20 pounds I've put on is making me VERY unhappy. When I get my hair cut, I hate to see my face in the mirror. It doesn't look like me. My trainer knows not to put in in front of the mirrors at the gym, because it really distresses me. Who is that person???
So, because I've reached my threshold, I've taken a drastic measure. I've joined Weight Watchers again. I'm hoping that the simplicity of their points system will make tracking easier than trying to track calories here. Seems my mind finds 22 an easier number to manage than 1200 or 1400. Still trying to figure out the activity points from actual HRM calories instead of their points calculator, but I may just decide that it's healthier to let that go. Trying to track things too perfectly is what makes me stop tracking. Let it go, Julie, let it go!
WW or not, I do still see value in SparkPeople...for info, motivation, etc.
Well, there it is. This is really more for me than anyone else who might read this. I keep thinking that if I put things in writing, I'll deal with them more effectively. Hopefully this time I'm right!