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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Not the show... although that was good too... but me. I'm Lost. I know that it's normal to be in a state of shock or disbelief at the loss of a parent.. but I'm really having a hard time of things lately... my nutrition has suffered, I've gained two pounds (at 212 now)... it's just so much and too much and I have no mental energy to plan, prepare or even eat properly. I should be most motivated right now... and yet I'm just not "there"... you know?

I can't even say that I'm "back" and "all ready to start again" ... but I'm not. I'm only posting this to let my SparkFriends know what's up and where I'm at... logging in food just seems so unimportant right now... you know? I mean, it's IS important.. I know it is, but I can't get my mojo going on doing it.. it's like Zumba, I know I love it... but I just have no energy to do it. *sigh*

So, that's where I'm at... keep me in your prayers, please.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JAAM1224
    Sorry to hear about your loss. I am new to your page but I wanted to remind you that your love one LOVED YOU! They would not want you to wallow in sadness, uncaring about a person they loved soo much, YOU! Your love one would want to love and take care of the person they loved so much, YOU! I know it all seems insignificant right now but take the steps to love yourself FOR them, if not for the family that still needs you to be here to love and care for them today! One baby step at a time, then another, and then another baby step! Start with 10 min of Zumba, even if you don't care to do it and don't really feel like you have then energy. It will help.. then remember how good it feels when you are done, write it down, re-read it tomorrow so you can do another 10 min. If you get started, you may surprise yourself and go 20 min. You can do it and most importantly those who love you (here and beyond) will be happy for you too!
    3826 days ago
    I'm so sorry for your loss. When you're ready you will know it anc can go on from there. Take good care of yourself.
    3922 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8091080
    I understand where you are coming from (have lost both my parents, but I took care of my mom for 4 years before she died)...so I do feel your pain. You did a good thing for yourself by sharing this with all of us. We won't let you be alone...so whenever you feel the need to share, cry, question or whatever, just let us know OK? Take it minute by minute; hour by hour; day by day. And make sure you do something for yourself (something that will make your day brighter).

    Big Hug! emoticon
    3923 days ago
    Thinking about you!
    3923 days ago
    Praying for you, and sending tons of good thoughts your way. We will be here with open arms, when you get back, and are here now, if you just need to vent or someone to listen. emoticon
    3923 days ago
    I felt out of control when my Dad passed and I was not in the lifestyle changing mode then. Perhaps you should just let your loss take precedent for a while and work your focus back to you and your eating step by step. Don't beat yourself up for not being 100% on everything (or anything). You have done the healthful/productive life before, you can get back,,,some things you just have to put on the back burner so you can regain your balance.
    3924 days ago
    If all you can do for now is log in and say hello... then that is what you do until you have space for more. Good to see you.
    3924 days ago
    Sweetie, it's totally okay to not feel yourself after such a devastating loss. The important thing is you take time to heal! Try to be cognizant of what's going in your mouth so you don't slide back too far, but don't worry about the tracking right now. The tracker will still be there. The Zumba will still be there. And one morning you'll wake up and things won't seem quite so out of focus, and the next day it'll be even better. And we'll be here waiting :)
    3924 days ago
    Sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. It's okay to feel disconnected with eating habits and exercise habits during this difficult time. Take time to just be yourself, no expectations, sometimes that is all we can do - just "exist". Time will make things better, when you are ready, you'll be back, stronger than ever. In the mean time, hang in there and know you are loved and missed. emoticon
    3924 days ago
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