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I am struggeling!!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I am Struggeling, really struggeling. I am eating everything in sight. I am gaining. I can't get myself undercontrol. I am just emotional binging and binging. Nothing is releiving that feeling. Even the binge's aren't making it go away. I think I have a problem here.

I said I was going to go back to 1300 calories a day starting yesterday. I think it was closer to 2200 by the end of the day. If I wouldn't have had all the stupid snacks and bites here and there I would have been under calories! Why do I do this to myself??? Can someone help me??? I am crumbeling inside. I don't know what to do except cry and eat.

I feel like a complete failure. Everyone tells me what a great job I have done and what an inspiration I am. Well here's to show no ones perfect. I need help, someone please! I don't want to go backwards any farther than I have already.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I've been there before many many times. All I can tell you is FORGIVE YOURSELF and move on from there. This journey is tough and demanding, but we have to keep at it. emoticon
    3508 days ago
    The fact that you have written this blog shows how far you have come. Yes, you have eaten more than you planned but you are taking ownership of it. Now you can let it go and move on. Stay strong!
    3508 days ago
    You are getting so close to Onederland, please don't give up! I made it (finally!) and it is a great place to live. I get the impression that you are trying too hard (too few calories, too much exercise) and stressing yourself, so that your body is rebelling. So what if you just moderated your plan for a week or two and cut your poor body a break. If you planned to eat a nutritionally-dense 1500 calories a day and cut back your exercise, do you think you would gain or just lose at a rate your body could tolerate a bit better. I don't know how tall you are, but 1300 calories sounds Draconian to me. I am eating that amount, but I am 5'2" and 61 years old, so I don't require as much food as most people. If you are taller, younger, and working out, I guarantee you your body needs more food. I really don't think 1300 cals. gives you enough nourishment. As we lose, our bodies need fewer and fewer calories and we need to cut back as we get smaller, but you aren't leaving yourself anything to cut. Please go to the panic button message board and post your message, and see if the Sparkpeople coaches don't give you the same advice as this non-expert.
    3509 days ago
    You're NOT a failure!!!! Look at what you've accomplished! Everybody has some bad days, but just keep plugging along. Try to write down every little bite you eat. I think it's kind of a hassle to write it all down, so sometimes I just don't bother to eat it... Anyway, don't get mad at yourself for messing up a little, sometimes life gets pretty hard but tomorrow (or the next day) will be better. It's taken me way too many years to stop beating myself up if I screw up, but when you are able to do that, it does make life easier.
    3509 days ago
    "Your not a failure when you don't complete your task successfully, your a failure when you stop trying."--Cassie
    I copied this quote of yours when I came across your blog. It is exactly what you need to hear again. Sounds like a bad day, but NOT failure. Only a bump and challenge that makes you stronger for the next day.
    You can do it!!
    3509 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3544403
    Hey there. Try not to lose sight of your goals. Face what you're feeling, and go consciously into your decisions. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!! It's temporary.

    3511 days ago
    oh...you sound like me! I am doing better today but the last few days have been terrible! Good luck1
    3517 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2634232
    I am thinking of you . I am a binge eater, an over eater and food-aholic. Food is my drug and boy has it had its evil hands on me. I still have moments just like you and I think its just something we have to deal with, handle and move on.

    For me, its a mental thing. It has taken me yyyeeeeaars to figure out what my problem is and probably will take years for me to grasp it. I take it "day to day". Please don't beat yourself up. You have come so far and YOU ARE truly an inspiration to people just like me. This whole journey is not perfect so do not place that label on yourself. You rock and you are awesome!
    3518 days ago
  • MSBLT82
    We all have bad days... now that you have identified it STOP BINGING!! I emotional eat too... I know its really, really hard, but try channeling it into something else. Go to the gym, take a walk, call a supportive friend or family member. *Hugs*
    3519 days ago
    Saw your page on the Motivational pages. Time for the Slowest Loser Team. Push reset button, start some small streaks and try to rack up the Spark Points. Are your goals set faster than they should be? Don't ever give up, look back at how far you have come. I have the tendency to grab the random bites here and there. Maybee to help with the shoveling Put up a sign that says type it before you bight it. Sometimes just the act of logging in to track is enough to slow me down. Hope that is helpful.
    3519 days ago
    Ooh, I did this last week...one night I ate three pieces of pizza after promising myself that I would not eat any. I realized then that opening the door to one piece of pizza was really opening myself to a binge. Then feeling really bad about myself.
    You have to be on guard, as your old habits DESPERATELY want to come back.

    when you have a bad day, take control right then. Don't think, "well, this day is already shot so I may as well have another snack...I just won't log it in my journal." Nope; keep yourself honest. Log in the bad stuff, because it stings. Retrain yourself.

    You can do it. DON'T give up because you're in a slippery place right now. YOU CAN DO IT!
    3520 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5465600
    You are NOT a failure! We're all just human and we all stumble at times. Don't get down on yourself for eating out of control. Look forward to the rest of the day and turn this situation around. I do the same thing. I use a screwed to justify eating out of control for the rest of the day or the rest of the week. That's how 20 years goes by and I'm still the same weight. We have to forgive ourselves for not being perfect and concentrate on sticking to our food plan for this hour, this day. I have confidence in you! You have come so far! If this week wasn't the best, ok. You'll do better from now on. Think of one healthy choice you can make right now and do it. That's the first step. Then make another healthy choice. Baby steps in the right direction will get you there eventually.
    3520 days ago
  • no profile photo GRAPLE2
    Ok I know you have rough days BUT.... You know this is emotional right now and things will get better!! I know things will work out and you know I'm going to help you work them out!! So, turn those negatives into positives! I plan to call you this evening! You know you can call anytime!!! Smile honey, your world is going to start looking up!!!!
    3520 days ago
    My calorie intake is low, too. I am also having issues finding things that fill me up. Get some water and ice chips to have by you for when you feel like you need to eat, it definitely helps me, or even some gum. You are a big inspiration to me, don't give up. Don't let us, or yourself, down!
    3520 days ago
    I feel the same way too. I have beat myself something horrible in the past. I am working very hard to change that. One thing that helps me is I am E-Mailing myself positive affirmations everyday and telling myself I am worth it.
    Don't every give up. We are here for you and together we will do this.
    3520 days ago
    sounds like you need a "Fast Break" Start with small goals again, make sure today that you get enough water and enough sleep. Tommorow is a new day of your new lifestyle. Somedays will be better than others. One bad day is just that, One Bad Day!!!! emoticon
    3520 days ago
    Take a look at your old pictures when you first started this journey. Then ask yourself do I want to go back. Think of all the hard work and effort you had to put in just to lose the weight. We all know how easy it is to gain weight, now ask yourself do you want to redo all that hard work. Hope this help. I believe in you! We all fall down, but it's getting back on track that counts. Good luck and I know you can overcome this obstacle! emoticon
    3520 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/10/2010 1:47:42 PM
    I am felling the same way! But I told myself today is going to be different, I agree staying busy really helps maybe go for a walk of do a short exercise video that will make eating not worth it. emoticon
    3520 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/10/2010 10:52:19 AM
    Try to remember that you have the power to choose. The food may call, but you can choose to eat it or choose not to. Sometimes it helps me to talk it through out loud when I'm faced with a craving. The out loud part seems a little crazy but it really helps to hear myself talk about what I want (the food0 what I don't want (to gain weight) and what I am feeling or thinking that may be causing the craving. Then I make a decision and own it. I chose to eat that thing or I chose not to. Either way, it was my choice. But it is only one choice in a series of choices that will either lead to weight loss and weight gain.

    Own your choices! Talk to yourself so you can truly make the choice that is right for you in the moment!

    3520 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/10/2010 10:22:43 AM
    Your all right! I do self destruct. I do agree that exercise in the morning helps keep me on track the rest of the day. I have to get up for work at 5 so I stopped doing that. But maybe I'll have to start again. My emotions are getting the best of me. Keeping busy usually helps too. Last night it was SSSOOO hot out (heat index 114) so we rented a movie. All fine and dandy but everytime my husband would pause it to go smoke or get a pop I would go to the kitchen and shovel! I am so ashamed of myself! I am really trying to make today a new day and stay in control.
    3520 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7289565
    Do you think you've been eating enough protein and foods that will help you feel full? Maybe 1300 isn't enough calories, so you're feeling really hungry and then just eating. If you're having emotional issues in your life, that is probably also a factor. Just know that you've acknowledged what's going on and move on from here. Start fresh right now. Get rid of any trigger foods you have around. The next time you feel like binging, find something else to keep your hands busy. Last night I felt the urge to go eat a bunch of cupcakes. I made them for my husband and kids and had one and I said I would not eat more, but just knowing they were there made me want them. So, I organized my closet and cleaned out our laundry room and it really helped. Hang in there! You've done so well. You can keep going if you've come this far. Believe in yourself. emoticon emoticon
    3520 days ago
  • KIMH239
    So sorry to hear that you are struggling. Each day is a new day. I find that if I exercise.....I eat far less because I do not want to cancel out all that time sweating with poor food choices.

    Do not beat yourself up over past choices. We cannot change yesterday.....we can only change today!!!

    You can do it!!!

    3520 days ago
    I do believe you self destruct like I do- just when I think I am doing good and starting to get compliments- I freak out and start binge eating. I am trying to think POSITIVE- I AM WORTH IT- so ARE YOU. We can do this together. emoticon emoticon
    3520 days ago
  • GAYA2081
    Are you meals filling you up? Have you tried something nice and crunchy? Crunchy is what I tend to crave. Get some granola or healthy cereal.

    Don't let one day keep you down. Remember tomorrow (today) is a new day and each day is a new day.
    3520 days ago
    Take a deep breath and think about a new plan. Write your new plan down, keep it close by and try to follow it everyday. Keep busy, especially doing things you enjoy doing. I hope you have much success in the future. emoticon
    3520 days ago
    My question to you is how long has this binging been going? 2200 calories is a bit much. If you are going to snack in between, grab some kind of fruit. Be strong!
    3520 days ago
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