Do It Right - W15.D6
Friday, August 06, 2010
So I went to the gym today and made myself go through 30 minutes on the elliptical in order to earn my boxing time. This is a new activity for me so it's more like fun time than working out. I struggled through the first 20 minutes or so of those 30 minutes, but I earned my time and I put on my gloves and headed into the boxing room.
I don't really know what I'm doing. I just do whatever I want...that's why I have to earn it. But today I saw the speedbag there and I have always really wanted to learn how to work that silly thing.
First of all, it's the prettiest piece of equipment in there. It's red with black lining, and has a cute little white lacing up one side.
Second, I have no coordination, and I really want to be coordinated. I'm hoping I'm not to old to learn.
But the last time I tried to hit the speedbag, the thing popped right off the little ring it's hooked on, and I felt silly and inexperienced and ....like a bad little kid who was gonna break somebody's toy. But today, I didn't care. Today I reasoned that there was no one in the room with me. The gym was pretty quiet. I kept my headphones in and vowed to figure out how to hit the thing with some rhythm, even if it was REALLY slow.
After about 10 minutes I did find my rhythm. It was super fun to figure out where to hit the bag with my hand to get the right bounce back, where exactly I had to strike the bag (and where not to hit the bag...it popped off about 4 times as I tried to figure it out, each time I learned something new), and when to hit the bag on the bounce back.
I kept thinking about how all of this is a learning process. What foods to eat when, what works for me as far as calories burned and calories consumed. It's all about the right combo, the right left right hit on the speedbag.
By the time I left the gym I felt renewed. I can still learn and I will continue to learn for the rest of my life.
I also felt something else...powerful.
Powerful is a great feeling. For the rest of my workout I kept on my handwrap gloves like they were my very own version of Wonder Woman bracelets. It was the big S on my chest that propelled me through 50 crunches with a medicine ball and a full set of strength training. I didn't want the power to end.
I finally took my gloves off during stretching and, you know what? I still felt powerful. You can't cut my hair and steal my strength...because it's within me. That power I feel is the confidence I have in my ability to learn and grow as a person.
No, the scale hasn't moved in 2 days (which is weird because my weight never stays the exact same two days in a row), but my muscles are looking great. And I feel so much stronger than I ever have.
I hope I feel powerful again tomorrow at the 5k. I don't have any worries about doing 3 miles, but I feel....unsupported by family and friends right now (not my Sparkies though! Feeling the love there!). Hubs doesn't want to make the drive. I don't think he sees the point of driving 2 hours so I can walk 3 miles when I can walk out the door and walk 3 miles down the street. And I can't seem to find a way to explain it to him. I just need this. I'm chasing that powerful feeling. I'm chasing the high of confidence. (And maybe I worry that I won't get that high...and I'm scared that I feel the need for it...)
But whether I go alone or Hubs comes with me, I will go tomorrow. And I will do it up right. I will wear the right clothes and put my star headband on, and put my arms in the right position, and push my legs to do their best for me. And when I'm done...I'll be done...and then I'll try to gauge how I feel...
I'd love to end this on a high, but all I feel like doing is .... *shrug*