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day 29~not looking back~

Friday, August 06, 2010

I read all of your comments. I talked it out with my best friend and I really thought about how I feel. The truth is, she made her choice. She left me and my kids sitting here broken and the more I remembered the past, The more I realized I don't miss the way it was. I miss the way she promised it would be. I missed the way I believed it was and would be. The truth is, she had her ex girl friend come pick her up every time we fought. She didn't fight for us and stand by me and she wouldn't if she came back either. Im not even sure she knows how. I miss how I believed she felt about me but the truth is she has proven that's not how she actually feels or that she cant manage us if it is. She walked away and I am still holding onto a fairy tale that never manifested. I wanted and needed to believe her and I do not regret a day of it. I will always love her and what I thought we had. I will always cherish what we had because it showed me what I want. Someday Im going to meet my one. And when I believe she loves me more than anyone could ever love another it will be real. I wont settle for less than what i thought I once had. I know what I want and what I deserve!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DJS-DEBBIE
    Good for you! I am glad you have a best friend to talk it out with. It is very hard to recognize the difference between how you wanted things to be and how they really were. You made real progress by figuring that out.
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    3415 days ago
  • _MAOMAO_
    You're wonderful just as you are! Remember that - and you deserve a wonderful woman with whom to spend your life, too.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3416 days ago
  • RUBY_QUEEN
    You cannot dwell on what wasn't or didn't manifest. You've thought this through and you know what YOU want. This is HUGE! Be steadfast. In the interim, feed yourself and your children all the positive energy you can give. You need it and they do as well.

    When you least expect it, she will fall in your lap. Don't worry about the search. You'll be too busy searching within yourself for your own betterment!

    One side note as a mother....understand that you're expecting someone to make you their everything but you'll never be able to reciprocate to the fullest...your children will always have more of you than a partner. Accept that this is and know that whomever you end up with will need to understand and accept that as well.

    Peace,
    Hebi
    3416 days ago
  • LOADINGBESTSELF
    "She didnt fight for us". Thats important. Thats what makes a relationship work.
    3417 days ago
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