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Saturday, July 17, 2010

It is July 17, 2010 and I just joined SparkPeople for the second time. I am writing this because as I upload pics of my family I realized I don't hardly have any pics of me. That is because I hate or should I say LOATHE to have my pic taken and for obvious reasons. I hate the way I look!!! I am now morbidly obese. I hate those words too and I never thought when I was young that I would ever get to this place. It gets really lonely for me as a fat person. And it is noone's fault but my own. I shy away from public places because I worry about what people must think of me. I love to swim but haven't yet this year because I look so horrid in a swimsuit. I think I could easily become a recluse. I want to lead a fuller life and to do that I have got to get this weight off. I would be happier, healthier, more active with my family, more confident, and I will have pictures of myself for my grandkids to see when they are older. I would hate to think that there aren't hardly any pics for my kids to remember me by after I am gone. It would then seem like I was hardly even here, barely existing. I can't live with that depressing thought so I am going to fight like hell to get healthy and I hope I meet others like me with the same goals along the way. I am here and I am getting rid of all the excuses starting now!!
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  • FRENCHTOSD
    If you haven't already, you should read my Blog post from June 14.

    Don't let life pass you by, especially with young kids. They care about doing things with you more than you can possibly imagine.

    Take small steps and stick with Spark People. You found the right place.

    emoticon
    3401 days ago
  • FLAB2FAB12
    KauraKitten- I had two glasses yesterday and so far today I haven't had any. So YAY for me. I am thinking I will be okay as long as I keep it around one glass a day until I can quit completely. Been drinking lots more water and my kidneys are in shock!! I have to pee everytime I turn around. Thanks for the encouragement. Now if I can get a walk in this evening I would be doing really great.
    3402 days ago
  • KAURAKITTEN
    What if you cut your soda to every other day for a week, then 2 times a week for a week, then 1 time every 2 weeks until it's out? Or switch to diet until you stop craving it? My husband still drinks soda but he limits himself to 200cal worth and knows he's going to have to work that off on the treadmill. And sometimes when he gets cravings for sodas he goes ahead and works it off so if he has it he's already lost it but most likely after the workout he doesn't want it anymore.
    3403 days ago
  • FLAB2FAB12
    Thank you so much ladies for the encouragement. God knows I need it now. I am sitting here drinking water so hey thats a plus for me. I know I need to make changes and lots of them. But I'm going to start with one thing at a time. I did slip and have one glass of pop already. Oops. But now I will make sure and get my water in for the day.
    KauraKitten- I have always let people bother me and there are some really mean people out there. But you are right- they are meanspirited so why should they matter to me?
    Brandi- KUDOS to you for being only 30 pounds away from your goal weight. You should be so proud of yourself!! You should go in and have your pics professionally taken as a reward to yourself and I can guarantee you will love them.
    ATR_1983- thanks for the hugs!! I will totally do the parking lot thing!!
    3403 days ago
  • ATR_1983
    Go out and live your life. I agree 100 percent with KauraKitten. Don't let your weight hold you back. Make exercise a family event, Go out for a walk with you kids, park further away in parking lots to get in exercise. It adds up. Don't beat yourself up . move forward. You can and will succeed. emoticon emoticon
    3403 days ago
  • BKGOOBERH
    You have taken the first step, and that can be one of the hardest. YOU CAN DO THIS!! The picture thing can be hard. I have very few pics of myself, for the same reasons as you. Even now, just 30 lbs from my goal weight, I hate my pictures. I see every little thing that is wrong with me. I have a hard time seeing how far I have come.

    Best of luck on your journey! You are in a great place. There is so much support and information on this website!
    -Brandi
    3403 days ago
  • KAURAKITTEN
    I can empathize with you. After I had my kids and gained 80 lbs I shut myself in the house. I was 80 lbs overweight already when I had them and then gaining another 80, it just made me feel pathetic. But sitting around didn't help me any. At first when I didn't want to go out I just cut my portion sizes in half, cut out salt, and cut out soda. I also made sure my house was spotless because housework can actually get your heart rate up when you're overweight. After losing 10 lbs that way I wrote down how long it would take me to lose the other 150 lbs. 75 weeks sounded like a big number but the sooner I started the sooner it would be done. I ended up going back out after losing 30 lbs and walking with my kids at the park and running around with them. Then we moved to a different state and I gained it all back from being depressed. I'm back on to the program but this time I refuse to make myself stay inside. I've already lost 10 lbs JUST THIS WEEK. You can't stop living because of your weight. The way you look at you is not how 90% of the rest of the world looks at you. The 10% that look at you and look down on you are already mean spirited people so you always have a 1 up on them. What I'm trying to say is you can do it if you do baby steps and you can do it if you just jump out there. And you're going to fall like everyone else does but you can't get down on yourself for it. You're human and you have something to fix, don't beat yourself up anymore than you already are. I'm here with you and I'll be encouragement anytime you need it. I PROMISE!
    3403 days ago
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