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I Would Love a Happy Sunday - W10.D2

Monday, June 28, 2010

Yesterday was crap.
Yesterday I ate a bunch of crap.
Yesterday I went to bed feeling like crap (most likely because of eating the crap).
Yesterday I was stressed over crap I can't control.

I was jazzed in the morning, but still tired from the week. Funny, I didn't work out this week nearly as much as I did last week, but for some reason I've been really tired. Probably stress...it's a killer! (Ever watch Anastasia?)

I sat around in the morning. I grabbed a bowl of Trix for breakfast because it was what I really wanted....I shouldn't have given in. Ironically, when our friends called us over for a pancake "breakfast" at noon, I was really good. I had 1 1/2 plain pancakes. No butter. No syrup. With fresh blueberries. I ate one small piece of sausage. And I had a small cup of 1% milk. But that was the only time I was "good" yesterday.

I left from their house and went to work. Worked much longer than I expected (about 5 hours working on my day off! WTF, dude?) and when we got back to town, the thought of heating up the stove (and, therein, heating up the trailer) just didn't suit me. I bought pizza because it was quick and cheap and easy...and then I proceeded to eat too much. Like 4 pieces!?!? (WTF is my problem?)

By 5:30pm I realized I hadn't even attempted a workout yet. I saw a storm coming in and Ethan and I attempted to dress quickly and get a short walk in before the rain hit. And we walked outside...and it hit. So I went back inside and told Ethan, "Maybe it will stop soon."

About a half hour later it didn't "stop" but it had slowed down to a very light drizzle. It was still hot and humid outside so I figured walking in the rain wouldn't hurt either of us. We walked, did a couple little "sprints" of jogging, and finally just decided to walk up to my MIL's house, where Hubs and Logan were already. The walk went fine. I felt fine. I had to stop twice to catch my breath up the hill to her house, but nothing major. (BTW - my abs are KILLING me! Could this be from the "jogging" I've done two times in the past week? I don't do much, just a little here and there when I feel I need a little challenge. It's not timed...just one of those "let's see if we can go to the mailbox right there." And I "jog" VERY slowly.)

After about a half hour there, Hubs drove us home. And all was well until I went to get out of the car and my knee went out. Bad. It hurt. I had to force it back in and it's been really sore ever since. Between the stress/frustration over the knee, stress over our money situation right now, stress over New York, stress over not finding the right suit for the right price yet, stress over time running out, stress over work and how much I hate doing so much work for less than most people here get paid....well, the rest of the night was horrible.

I ate some sugary cereal. I ate some chips and salsa. I ate another slice (or two?) of pizza. It was a BAD, BAD night. I stayed up late, even though I was exhausted and could've slept it off around 9pm, I was up until 11pm, because I really wanted to watch The Road with Hubs. When I did finally go to bed, I couldn't sleep. (Stress, again.) I got back up and cleaned the bedroom up, folded clothes, made some nice piles. (And still didn't find the 2 pairs of pants I was looking for! *GROWL*)

I don't tell you this for sympathy, but to be accountable. I ate like crap and feel like crap today. I'm sluggish and tired. I want to go back to bed. My stomach hurt like he11 last night. And I knew it was all my fault. I could've made the right decisions for myself and had a much better evening....I could be having a stellar Monday morning right now. But I chose the wrong path and it has led me here...where all I can think about is crawling back in bed, not eating a thing to make up for yesterday, drinking mass amounts of coffee just to stay awake, and feeling bloated and just plain gross. I caused this. And is it no wonder that I felt like crap for the past few years? Crap goes in = Feel like crap. It's a very simple equation.

So I'm fighting the aftershock of what was a bad Sunday. My knee hurts. My stomach hurts. But I'm still keeping track of what I eat. I'm still counting calories and planning on doing a VERY modified Zumba class tonight. I brought an umbrella so I can walk at lunch...very slowly. I will be slow today, yes...but I will move. I cannot stand still because standing still accomplishes nothing. My "brisk walk" scheduled for training today? Not going to happen...but I'll make up for it with a few short, easy walks.

Time to get my head and heart back in the game. Time to really remember what this is all about and who is going to benefit from it (not just me, but my boys and my husband, and any future job offer!). It's time to remember that "I will act now." It's time to remember that I am a warrior, that I want certain things in life than can only be achieved through forward motion.

Stomach in, shoulders back, chin up, eyes forward, and MOVE.

emoticon, body.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You can doit....You can doit...ALL NIGHT LONG! Take care of you love!
    3968 days ago
    Sounds like you have a great plan, and sorry about the knee. Take it easy today and do what you can. You are right, going slow is better then not moving at all.

    The abs could be hurting from climbing that hill as those use a lot of core muscles to keep you from falling over while climbing up and down hills.

    Hope you have a better monday and try to get to bed early tonight.

    BTW I read "The Road" and you couldn't pay me to watch the movie, the book gave me nightmares.
    3968 days ago
  • SUGIRL06
    I have a day like that here and there where I just go overboard and then I learn my lesson and get back it! I think we all just need a break sometimes!
    3968 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7009225
    For what it's worth, I have also tried logging my food before I eat (a la SPUNKYDUCKY). I eat pretty much the same thing for breakfast every morning with minor variations of what goes into my eggs/omelet. When I log that into the nutrition tracker, I then have taken out something for dinner and start making the rest of my meals and snacks around that. I can look at my calories, add or subtract things then, and then have a plan for the rest of the day. It works pretty well. But, first and foremost, you need to forgive yourself for yesterday, ice that knee a little after every walk (you can make paper cups of water, let them freeze and then rub it over the area that hurts for 20 minutes), and take it easy. You are doing wonderfully and have a big week coming up! Stay strong. Love yourself!
    3968 days ago
    OMGosh, if I could COUNT how many times I ate a WHOLE pizza while dieting and feeling weak! Your six ish pieces are nothing haha. I'm proud of you for getting out, and walking despite your knee :) You'll get back on track, and while you're doing just that, think of all the vitamins your body got out of that "crap" yesterday! ;)
    3968 days ago
    I ate pretty crappy this weekend too. Doesn't feel good. I hope you have a great week!
    3968 days ago
    Ok, a few notes. We are all human and there will be times on our journey to health that we may have slip ups. Humans are not perfect, we have flaws and we will make mistakes. I think sometimes we forget this. We have to learn to not be so hard on ourselves and "forgive and forget" so to speak. You can put this day behind you and focus on all the good things you have done and are doing to become a healthier "YOU".

    Just remember "You can do this" and we all need to revamp at times. Today is a new day, the beginning of a new week and soon a new month.

    emoticon emoticon Keep Going.. You can Do it !
    3968 days ago
  • _TRIXIE_
    But the great thing about all of this is the sense of awareness you have over the whole situation. Would you have been this aware of paid this much attention a year ago? Would you have made a plan to get yourself out of this funk and find the forward motion?

    Sorry to hear your day sucked but do not stress about the food -- we've all been there and we have all lived to tell our tales about how we moved on. You have a lot of other stress in your life right now, don't let food take up any more space.

    Have you explored the Emotional Eating team and info articles on Spark? Might be worth looking into. Just a thought.

    Cheers to a better Monday!
    3968 days ago
    Aww man. On the bright side, that one bad night probably wasn't bad enough to undo much of anything. But it does make you feel like crap.
    3968 days ago
    I had a few days like this last week and have decided to try to log food before I eat it this week. At least for yesterday that started as a successful venture.
    3968 days ago
    Yep. Sounds like a crappy day. No use worrying about yesterday. Today is a new day. Time to start a new week and hit the reset button. You have lost over 30 lbs and one bowl of Trix and a few slices of pizza will not take that away. Time to finish up the month strong. YOU WILL DO IT!!

    3968 days ago
    At least you're being accountable for your actions. You know that you had a bad day, but you're not giving up because of it. That's a good thing. I know how you feel about the bad days; just the other day, I ate four slices of pizza as well. Naughty me. I had a bad dream because of it too. Eek. Anyway, I hope you get better. Your blogs are very inspiring and I think that you can do it. emoticon

    emoticon emoticon
    3968 days ago
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