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Proclaiming we need to double the hours in the day!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Seriously...there isn't enough hours in the darn day/week/month. Welcome to my world. My day is starting at 4:15-4:45am (variance due to the fact that I am compulsive and evidently a bit of a worry wart). I am up, drag my arse up to dress, grab meds, check email to see what I can answer while I pull on my socks. I leave my house at 5:15. I arrive at 5:30 to find this child AWAKE and full of smiles and demanding attention and ELMO. I scramble for coffee, clean house, entertain child and dog (boston terrier) and ponder the fact the Barney is kinda creepy in the way I am pretty sure he is a freak hiding behind that slightly overshaped purple dinosaur outfit. Eventually the child goes to take a nap - for 20 minutes to an hour (if I am blessed). In that time I manage to get some reading and writing done for my Al Anon and do some laundry. Girl wakes up and then we get ready to go to my house since I have Abe who is in major depression from his schedule being blown out of the water. We drive to my house - I watch my little one "dance" to the music. This girl LOVES music. She taps her toes and pumps her fist to dance music. She bounces her head and then switches to rocking her head to rap/r&b (because the beat changes up frequently). She rocks back and forth to alternative music. She clearly is her mom and Noni's kid - she LOVES her music.

Girlfriend still isn't walking and her "talking" still isn't clear beyond mama, dog, and yelling at the dog (jeez go figure..lol). Considering she was slow to crawl, a preemie, and considering the circumstances of her environment - I am not panicking quite yet. I took her to her doc appointment and I have a referral for her to be evaluated when I want it. They recognize the situation and that there is no consistency between the two households. My guess is she will walk at any point here - it is just quicker for her to crawl right now.

I am basically going from their house, spending time at my place to clean and hang out with Abe. I either walk Abe if the weather is good with the baby (which lately the weather has sucked)..or we hang until late afternoon (and I do Sparks), I bring Abe to take Aliegh home, get her fed and changed, finish up babysitting, and then walk Abe at our old beach.

I struggle these days with workouts...struggling with balance...struggling with feeling like I have a life that isn't revolving around the daughter and the baby. I think struggling is the key word. Diet is hanging in there but I think that is due to having a strong sense of knowing what is working for me which is South Beach. I have found another beach to walk Abe which is only 10 minutes drive from my house (I live 10 minutes walking from one beach or 10 minutes drive to another) and it is much more accessible for me. I can walk Abe and I can walk Abe and take Ali in the jogging stroller on that beach. My guess is that it will help lessen some of the stress right now. That and eventually hearing that day care assistance has been approved and lined up....

I apologize to my teams - you have been neglected horribly from me. I just haven't found my balance yet. Honestly I have found myself pushing myself to go to bed early (ie normal bedtime is 1130pm earliest for me and I have pushed myself to go to bed by 930 and 10pm) because I really need to rest my body somehow which is collapsing on me. The other component is my sanity - I NEED processing time. That time where my brain can just flow and process all the crap of the day. I don't do well when I feel like I am pushed up against the wall and well of late - that is exactly where my back has been.

I missed a yearly event I normally go to this weekend due to a combination of I had a baby and the weather sucked. If it had just been me, I would have gone - but there was no way I was going to bring Aliegh out into potentially bad weather. Next weekend I have the weekend off (as does the mister who took it off per my request a month ago). I have a weekend of Pride festivities to attend to and normally that is a family filled activity. It will be family oriented but at this point, I seriously need to recharge and take some "me" time so it will be slightly less family and bit more focused on finding some relaxation on my part.

*hugs* here is to all my friends - may you have a good week!

Aliegh and Abe "sunning" themselves on the deck and Abe going for a kiss

And my sentiments (and Aliegh's on the week's summation):

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RESTORED2004
    Glad I found you, have fibro and balance is an issue physical, emotional, mental, etc. Planning on reading your blogs to find out more about the arthritis group and South Beach
    1954 days ago
    and you are planned out well enough to give us an excellent blog! thank you!

    spark hug
    2201 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/5/2015 3:15:47 PM
  • -SHAWN-
    You're a great 'manager', I know you'll make it all work and find time for you :-)

    2977 days ago
    My goodness you have a full full day. Your little girl is adorable as is Abe. However, you must be exhausted taking care of that little bolt of energy! It is very nice of you to help your daughter out. Hope the day care option comes through soon if that is what you want. I am glad you are able to get to the beach and walk.
    You are doing well to even stick to South beach during all of this.

    Hope you take care of yourself and figure out a way to re-charge and get some needed rest!
    3347 days ago
    YOU time. Badly needed.....(((HUGS)))
    3643 days ago
    You sure got your hands full! Hang in there, it won't be like this forever!

    3962 days ago
  • MUSIC66
    sorry things are so hegtice for you at the momment.
    3973 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    Balance is something I have been working on as well recently. Hope you are finding some in your life now.
    3995 days ago
  • HUGS2015
    Aliegh sure is growing and I can see that she has Abe wrapped around her finger. Girl, I don't see how you do what you do on any given day. I am glad to see you cut back where you can so that you can get some much needed rest. You don't want to fall out from the stress. You still get more done than the average person ever thought about doing so you deserve a bunch of pats on the back! Do what you can, when you can but most of all don't forget to take care of yourself in the process! Thanks for all you have done and all you do to support all of us on Spark! I still think that you are secretly Superwoman! Big Hugs, Deanie
    4002 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/30/2010 6:39:31 PM
    Hang in there! You are swamped, but you can manage, I just know you can!
    4002 days ago
    those pictures are priceless! dogs and babies are my weakness! hugs to you that balance comes back into your life and that you can find the much needed 'me' time that you deserve!
    4005 days ago
    Sounds like you need some "me" time. Hugs gal! Keep up the good work and enjoy as much as you can. I bet Little Miss Aleigh is going to be wearing the bottoms of some sneakers soon. You are going to need all the energy you can get.
    4007 days ago

    God Bless You!

    Try and catch up on that much needed rest while you still can, because that little angel of yours will be hitting the ground running any day now.
    4011 days ago
    LOL I had to laugh at Aliegh "responding" to your facebook Pam. She hears my text message beep and she grabs the phone, hits reply and send in 1 second flat (and she has a DEATH grip on the phone). Everyone now knows if they get blank texts from me - its Aliegh saying HI!!
    4011 days ago
    Aliegh has the world's best gramma.
    4011 days ago
    Oh they are cute! And I feel your pain. I hope things will settle down for you soon. I wish I could help with your request about the team leadership; I just can't take anything else on right now either. Can you spell S - A - I - N - I - T - Y??? Well, no, I guess I can't!

    Good luck! And hang in there! emoticon emoticon
    4011 days ago
    Those days with a wee one are indeed crazy-making! So so so so hard to do anything other than take care of baby. She's beautiful, though, and you're doing such a wonderful thing helping out your daughter and granddaughter with your special and selfless brand of Kieraecare.

    And you're a fabulous team leader, too; don't worry for a second about that!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4012 days ago
    Glad you will have some weekend time. You are so devoted to Aliegh and remember to stay devoted to yourself. Mr. Abe will survive and I know you will make sure he is getting his beach time--just make sure it is on your time. What are your non-negotiable that you need daily or weekly to stay sane? Try to keep them at the top of your list.

    I hear you on going to bed early--I love staying up till all hours either reading or online, but can't sleep in and my body hurts when I don't get enough rest.

    School's out for me now Yahoo! I've neglected my body this school year, so now I can focus on healthy eating and either walking or going to Curves daily.

    Happy solsitice day!
    4012 days ago
    Hang in there. Things will get better. Aliegh is adorable and I love the picture of her and Abe.
    4012 days ago
  • MUSIC66
    4012 days ago
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