GOT UP EARLY TO EXERCISE, AND HERE I AM
Friday, June 18, 2010
I woke up really early this morning, I think I can't sleep because of the emotional roller coaster, so I thought, well, I will just exercise instead. And here I am posting and catching up on Spark friends. I guess I am feeling the need to reconnect before I push my tired body to warm up this morning.
Dad is still in intensive critical care in the hospital. He is doing better and still has such a strong will to push himself to get well. I keep pinching myself when I get teary eyed, just to remind myself to stay in the NOW and let go of future tripping or backsliding into negative thoughts. Today I am taking a day off from the hospital and will go to work and try to catch up there. Since it is Friday, it is usually a less stressful day.
Now about me and the weight thing. I keep going one step forward and one step back. I have been able to exercise 3 times this week (that is in the plus category), and I have have had several bouts of emotional eating. 3 of these turned into giant binges of chocolate and almonds. I am not going to get down on myself about this because it is obvious to me that I am stressed to the max. Somehow just knowing that I am witnessing how I allow my emotions to take over and control what I put in my mouth makes me feel that I am on a path of learning to eventually gain control over this pattern. I also am totally aware that when my life is on course and nothing stressful is happening, it is so much easier for me to maintain the healthy loving self care I want for my body.
I have noticed this week that the food thing is a family thing. My son and girlfriend and nephew and his wife are all very slim. But the first thing that is always discussed when we all get together is where we are going for lunch. I opted out last night to come home and eat salmon, salad and get rest. But then later in the evening I started to worry and reached for the chocolate and nuts.
I guess the challenge for me now is to slowly let go of binging on the bad things when I am under this heavy pressure of stress. The reality seems so obvious and such a small shift to make, but when the pressure is on, I keep grabbing the old comfort food. Today I am going to see if I can stay in the commitment to only eat healthy and not give in to the pull for the old comfort food patterns.