IN KEEPING WITH MY POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Saturday, June 05, 2010
This morning I woke up early, jumped out of bed and rushed to get my workout minutes achieved. Now this is the typical modus operandi for me. I get really hyped up, jump on the bandwagon and achieve achieve achieve..... until, of course, I fall apart from over working out, or over working, or over doing... I think this is called obsessive/ compulsive. (although I think obsessive/repulsive might be a more apt description) As I was moving into my 21st minute of aerobic activity, a little bell went off in my head - a sort of brain alarm, if you will. It said, STOP. Didn't you just say yesterday that you were going to move into the not so overwhelming baby step approach? So I slowed down, stretched, and drank a bottle of water and went outside to watch the birds and play with the dogs.
As I was out communing with nature I made a huge decision. I was going to go buy myself a new laptop. I have been working on a laptop for the past 2 years that is slowly falling apart. It takes me about 1/2 hour just to boot up and connect to the internet. And on top of that, I have to be tethered to the router, which is sometimes kind of dangerous if you happen to trip over the cord on your way to the bathroom. (maybe that is why the laptop is falling apart? too many trips on the cord and falling on the ground.)
Anyway, I have looked at laptops probably once a month over the past 2 years. The prices have really dropped. The sizes have really changed. And they have some really beautiful colors for the cases. OK, there you go. That is my knowledge of laptops. But I was determined that today, I was not going to be deterred. I was going to come home with my new laptop in hand.
Well, I got to the store so early that they hadn't booted up any of the equipment yet. So I stood and looked at the colors, shapes, sizes and read the little cards on the displays. Someone told me to not buy anything less than 4GB. OK, so that eliminated the cheaper models. I guess the look of confusion finally caught the eye of a nice young salesman and he asked if he could help me. I said, Yes, please sell me one of these laptops. So he said, ok, which one? To which I replied, no, you see, I need you to sell me one. I need you to explain everything about each one that is 4GB - (gosh, I am so smart). So he said, (I am pretty sure he was thinking - what the heck is she going to do with GB when she doesn't have the first clue about the darn laptops?) - well, this is the one I have and I really like it. As the process moved along - I was wondering where all the programs were that I am used to. He said, oh, you have to buy those separately, that is how they keep the cost down. - uh huh, now I get it. All the work I have ever done is in Microsoft Office. So guess what? That is another extra hundred bucks. And of course, you need security. And while you are at it, how about a warranty? By this time I was getting overwhelmed, but I was not going to be deterred. So I said, OK, I will take it.
We went over to the cash register, rang up my purchase, and I could barely wait to get my fingers on the keys and start typing away at my life story. (yes, I am a writer at heart). My cute young salesclerk said, can I get your number? I am thinking, huh? What does he need my number for? Oh, it takes up to 24 hours to install the programs, make the restore disks, optimize the operation, and I think maybe he is going to have a one night stand with my new BFF.
Anyway, TOMORROW, I shall have my new laptop. I only spent twice the amount I was planning on, and guess what, I didn't even get to bring it home with me. So I guess the universe is teaching me to have patience, don't be obsessive/repulsive, and perhaps when I finally make a decision and stick with it, maybe I should take someone with a bit more knowledge with me? Oh well, live and learn, right?
You might be wondering what does this have to do with a new postive attitude? Well when it comes to buying something new for myself I will usually rationalize why I don't need something. Having raised 3 children pretty much on my own I learned how to make do without new anything. My children are all grown up and I make a good living, but I still don't put myself 1st. When I go out to buy new clothes, I think, oh, the old ones are good enough. And yes, they really are good enough. - But it is the thinking that is not good enough. And I think this has carried over into the food I choose to buy at the grocery store, the job I work at, and maybe even some of my relationships. Anyway, I am not going to make huge changes all at once, however, I am going to start thinking about the areas of my life that aren't working for me. Obviously the first one is my relationship with food.