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Hi, my name is Joann and I am a XXXXX a holic

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

OK, just fill in the blank with anything you want. Choc .... Carb.... Food....as long as it has to do with food, eating, binging, smoothing away the feelings (both good and bad) with food....... that is me.

So here is the dilemma. We can exist without alcohol, we can exist without gambling, we can exist without drugs, but we do have to eat food. So wouldn't it just make sense to identify those difficult foods and abstain? Is there something wrong with this thinking? Here I am starting all over again, back to the beginning. I don't want to live my life as a dry drunk, but maybe that is the only way for awhile -- say like until my lobotomy kicks in? Sometimes I have even thought that being addicted to crack would at least take the food cravings away. Now that is really sick, sad, desperate, and depraved. But it is the truth. Come on, haven't most of us felt that we would like the magic bullet. Just give me that pill that will take away the cravings and I will be set for life.

I know my thinking is really not accurate in this area. So I am going to give myself over to the higher power ( yes, you heard it - from me ) I am giving myself over to the power to just believe that if I can dream it, I can create it, and if I can create it, then I am already the IT that I am talking about. So I am back to my good old brainwashing techniques of the power of positive thinking. It works until it doesn't work - and now I am going to figure out a way to catch myself before I fall down too far again. I know I have said this before. And for the risk of sounding insane, I am willing to try again, but try it with a new brain. Because I know that I can not solve my problem with the same brain that created the problem.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It is a very tough struggle, isn't it?

    One Day is ALL I can look at-I have to just put one foot in front of the other-and just work on the day I'm given.

    3775 days ago
    Thanks ladies for your support and help. I am really trying to find something that will help with the cravings. So far I am trying almonds. I know I could also binge on almonds, but I am starting with counting out 17 almonds, eating them slowly, chewing them - slowly- and drinking water. I even did this in the car on the way home from work when I knew I had to stop at the grocery store to buy groceries for the weekend. Result: I only bought healthy food. woo hoo.
    even the junk food I bought was healthy, fruit popcycles.

    3799 days ago
    emoticon Hi I'm Jules. Me2!!!

    It's a hard thing to really face and admit. I can't tell you how many times I let myself talk myself out of it as I read various diet tips about eat this, not that & the world will be fine & you'll lose the weight and keep it off forever.

    Upshot... yes, those are the mechanics and various approaches but we still have to face and learn to deal with our problematic areas.

    And for me, sad to say, is an addiction to fats, sugars, salts (in any combination ;)

    I like food. Love food & have a gazillion reasons to eat & keep eating = hence the very quick slip & easy fall back into rationalizing = keep eating = keep cycling through this problem.

    admitting the problem and committing daily to dealing with it is the fresh place to start, each day, each choice, I think.

    I think your thinking is fine. Whether we have to abstain and go through a dry drunk stage (something I've seriously tried to avoid, i think irrationally so i could find a way to keep eating & keep getting my fix).

    I'm not sure we will stay there (as some authors/programs seem to suggest) because I don't want that to be the outcome.

    If you haven't read that "the end of overeating" by Kessler yet, it's really worth the read and helped me immensely to begin to understand & accept the chemical part of my addiction in the brain.

    that gives me a basis for understanding... and we'll keep working on finding what truly works. my guess is that it will evolve & we'll eventually tanscend :)

    (smiles broadly) (cuz i'm thinking that's the way to choklit!!!)


    > emoticon
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    yeah, i can really talk my way back 2 choklit any given moment!!! ;)
    3800 days ago
  • no profile photo 175RACHEL175
    Cravings are tough. Maybe try "detoxing" from the evil for a week, maybe even two. I did that with pop (soda, whatever!) and it was f'n terrible!!! LOL. But after the detox I was able to go days at a time without the pop cravings. Now I can even have an occassional glass or drive thru without becoming an addict again.

    Good luck!!!!!!!!!!
    3802 days ago
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