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Perpetually playing catch up

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Life has been challenging. It seems I am lucky if I have 5 minutes to myself these days. My calendar has changed from a weekly version to an hourly version just so I don't forget to do something. So what has changed? Well in a nutshell - Aliegh.

Aliegh's parents are alcoholics/addicts. Only one is in recovery and fortunately the other (the dad) is rarely in the picture. My daughter is in a deferred program due to two DUI's. To say it has been challenging doesn't even touch it. She hasn't managed to stay sober since she is a binge drinker and continuously thinks it's okay to have one drink. Normally her binge behavior has been about once a month. Well last month it was once a week where she lost her glasses and her droid cell phone EACH time (yes you calculate the monetary cost of those binges for someone collecting unemployment emoticon ).

We took action and removed Aliegh from my daughter (even though she never drank around Aliegh, I just wasn't willing to risk it since her decision making was clearly messed up). It was the only way I knew I could get her attention to the seriousness of all of this. I basically told her she either had to work her program or drink - but I was keeping Aliegh until I saw her actually working her program. And that is what I did for a couple weeks while mama decided attending 2 meetings a day, getting sponsors and actually being HONEST with her counselor was in order. When I returned Aliegh, I stressed that I was in zero tolerance mode - meaning IF it happens again, we WILL go to court for custody and I would report her (ie she would go to jail for 90 days minimum to a year).

Having a 14 month old around 24/7 at my age is....tiring..lol! Trying to do any work online, Sparks, tend to the house, attend my Al Anon meetings, walk Abe daily, AND fit in an hour at the gym - CHALLENGING. Dear god - how did I have a "life" when my kids were young?? emoticon

So once Aliegh returned home, I still had to babysit every day (except Friday-Sun) and play taxi cab (since mama can't drive and the bus system sucks out here). Now mama starts work Monday morning and doesn't have any day care assistance from the state set up yet (takes about a month for approval). So guess whose it? You betcha...

Starting tomorrow, I will be rolling out of bed at 5:15 to be at her house by 6am. She works 730am-4pm. She still has AA/NA meetings to attend and outpatient treatment on Wednesday and Thursday evenings. So basically I will have Aliegh until 6 most nights and overnight on Wednesdays. I won't be able to attend a couple of my meetings - limited to only Sunday morning ones. I haven't figured out how I am going to fit in Abe's hour walk and my gym time but somehow, I will manage.

The downside to all of this: well I have wiped out my right elbow and right shoulder. They are already replaced and well there is this little thing about a weight limit which Ms Aliegh has kinda bypassed quite awhile ago. I saw the orthopedic surgeon who confirmed they both need to be revised and no I can't do them at the same time (DRATS but I had to ask)...evidently they can be complicated due to I don't have alot of bone to work with. The idea of being laid up (I am right handed and I own a stick shift so wouldn't be able to drive) doesn't make me happy and ISN'T going to happen until I soak up the last of the beach time this summer. I have an elbow brace to help support the joint but it is horrible (can't put it on myself) and makes me look/feel like the Terminator..lol. And it is far from fashion forward - it just clashes with everything!

So all of THIS is why my presence has been sparse on Spark's. I am still here - I check my mail via my cell phone but I don't have a smartphone yet (no upgrade until September) so I can't actually respond to threads when I am not home since my daughter doesn't have internet (unless I manage to find an unsecured network). So please send me any extra energy you have because if I have a month of this, I am SOOO going to need it!

And this is my pride and joy:

Watching the Sounders lose their soccer game - she sums up my feelings:

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • -SHAWN-
    Hope this all gets worked out for the best... Seems like you're a tough cookie ;-)

    My youngest grandson is living with me. he'll be 13 in a few weeks, he's taller then me. Brain injured and post transplant (in diapers) and has a G-Tube.
    I was only suppose to have him till my daughter graduated, well that was nearly 3 years ago! She's gainfully employed as an R.N. at HOAG Hospital in Newport Beach, CA. has been married to her one and only for the past 20 years, and I haven't had one day off in all this time :-(

    3225 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4720056
    I am so sorry you have so much to deal with right now! Your granddaughter is so precious, it comes through on the pictures you have posted. So sorry you are having problems with your shoulder and arm. I will keep you all in my thoughts and let us know how it goes, whenever you have time.
    4034 days ago
    Regarding the walking - yup I plan on watching Aliegh at her place in the morning and then going to pick up Abe (about 20 minutes drive) and we will hit the beach if the tide is right (have a beach stroller) or walk the back streets around my daughter's place. It is just figuring out the timing (and the driving back and forth..lol). My gym does have daycare but very limited hours. Right now Aliegh melts down when I leave so it will be a hit or miss on that one since they have a 15 minute melt down rule. I am figuring if I get the dog walked...I can always workout after I get done babysitting (which varies from 545pm to 9). I may drag my workout dvds over there for the couple of late nights I do have to babysit versus working out. Survived day #1 - Aliegh entertained folks with all my ringtones in Walmart. There is something about a baby rocking out to "It's Raining Men" that can't help but make you chuckle. emoticon

    Thanks for the all the support! emoticon
    4042 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    Such a cutie! I hope mom continues to get the help she needs with her addiction. I hope you find the energy to get everything done. Could you walk Abe with Alleigh in a stroller? That way you could multitask a bit of it.
    Wishing you lots of energy!
    Good luck!
    4042 days ago
    Oh my goodness - look how big she's gotten. What a little cutey! She's so lucky to have a grandma like you. You guys will be in my thoughts.
    4043 days ago
    The Spark fairies unsubscribed me from pretty much every thread I was following, but I'll do my best with the SB team. I'm sorry I've been away so much too. I've been in training for three of the last five weeks... but the break from family has been heavenly, to be honest. You deserve a medal for all you do for yours. Your granddaughter is going grow into an amazing woman, thanks to you.

    "...how did I have a 'life' when my kids were young?"

    You didn't! That's why you're now a sexy grandma!

    4043 days ago
    You are truly amazing. I thought my life was busy......well, it is, but not like yours is! Your granddaughter is unbelievably luck to have a grandma like you.
    4043 days ago
    Bless you for all you do for your daughter and Aliegh. They are so fortunate to have you in their lives. Good luck to your daughter as she reclaims her life. While you spend so much time and energy taking care of your family, please be sure to take time for yourself. I'm sending lots of positive energy your way, my friend.
    4043 days ago
  • 250STRONG
    Yep you have a lot going on! Keep your chin up lady!
    4043 days ago
    I'm glad to hear your daughter is taking some positive steps! Giving her your help and support right now is so important both to her and cute little Aliegh. Can you walk Abe and push a stroller at the same time? How about child care at your gym? I pray all thing work out and that your daughter is able to stick with her program for herself and her daughter. Don't worry about us! We will all work to support one another here in the group. Drop in and let us know how you are when you can! emoticon
    4043 days ago
  • LLTS01
    We're thinking of you and I hope you muster all the energy in the world for that little girl. She is worth it and you rock!
    4043 days ago
    Thanks so much Tish - you always do anyways! And yes - one smile from the peanut and grandmama melts. She is a hoot (and a toot lately..lol).
    4043 days ago
    Awwww. She is so cute! Gal you have alot on your plate. I admire your strength. Take care of yourself!
    4043 days ago
  • KLEE76
    She is so adorable. I bet just one smile from that precious face makes everything worthwhile.
    4043 days ago
    She is getting cuter every day. So sorry to hear about your daughter and your health problems. But you are one tough lady and you will make it.

    I have been dealing with the internet connection from H--- but I will try to help people on the South Beach group when I am around.

    Lots of hugs. emoticon
    4043 days ago
  • DEE797
    WOW! You have been busy. So glad you took action and got your dd's attention. Your granddaughter is just adorable. Sorry to hear about your elbow and shoulder. I know Abe will understand about the walks. Do hope it all works out.
    emoticon emoticon
    4044 days ago
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