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NGCHILD
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Broken record found....

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I have this ability to talk myself out of a happy place. I will be blissfully married 8 months on Saturday. God has brought this amazing man into my life and I intend to hold on to him forever. So why am I not happy? 95% of the time I am carefree, happy go lucky, not much upsets me. The other 5% -- watch out. I walk on my lip, feel sorry for myself, don't exercise, and generally remain silent. This is NOT healthy.

I know what causes this so why don't I CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR? I am lazy. I am gung-ho about something for months on end and then WHAM. It's over. I hate to exercise but it's all I think about. Things that I can do to help myself be healthier. I am a walking library. I have books, magazines, articles that I print out, exercises I find online, meal plans, I cruise spark pages like a stalker looking for the secrets (LOL) etc etc etc. but I lack one serious quality ..... MOTIVATION. I can make every excuse in the book .... SO JUST DO IT ALREADY.

My 5% needs to join the other 95% PRONTO!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DOREENKNIGHT64
    How are you feeling now? Don't put yourelf down. If you're only 5% unmotivated you're doing better than the rest of us.
    3823 days ago
  • ANEPANALIPTI
    Girl... you are STRONG. YOU GOT THIS. ONE STEP AFTER THE OTHER you will DO IT. just START!
    3831 days ago
  • GIRANIMAL
    Oh, wow, dear, I can totally relate to much of this lately!

    I too have much good in my life, and I am grateful for it often, but once that cloud moves over ... I can't even stand to be around myself!

    I have a library of self-help books that I can never seem to find the time to read -- and when I finally get to them, I find it takes me YEARS to enact any of their sage advice.

    If you find the secret to that motivation, please share and I'll do the same! Right now, I suspect I am simply too scattered and have been for years, and meditation has forever been in order. I pulled out a guided meditation CD this week and put it where I can see it. (I am an out-of-sight, out-of-mind kind of person - I didn't even remember I owned this one!)

    I hope you find a way to re-ignite your Spark soon! We can do this, my friend!

    emoticon emoticon
    3839 days ago
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    It's something we have to do even when we don't FEEL LIKE IT. If we push through, we can do this emoticon
    3840 days ago
  • NGCHILD
    I think I was having a pity party for myself yesterday!! Thank you all for your comments -- I have given myself a swift kick and expect changes very soon!!

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    3841 days ago
  • STEPHANON
    I feel like that sometimes, too. I hope you find the determination and dedication you need to succeed!
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    3841 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3248497
    There are no magic words that I think will make you motivated when you are unmotivated. I know how it feels. I usually just have to go through my motions, figure out what the heck is wrong, correct my issue and I force myself to move on. I am a true believer of faking it until you make it. Trust me, it helps at 4:30am when my alarm comes on letting me know it's time to workout.

    Take care!
    3841 days ago
  • CITYZOZO
    you will find it inside..... if you need a rest, because work is a hassle, then watch your food like a hawk and drink water and take a break from exercise...these are darn stubborn habits we are trying to change in ourselves..go gentle and throw on the best damn music you can find, buy an ipod and rock out so you make sure it is fun..exercise has to be fun... can your hubby walk with you on a date once or twice a week, can you join a fun class and meet some new exercise buddies? you will find it, trust that... you are the best! winks, zo
    3841 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2112467
    It's a mind set. It's just time. I did the same thing for a long time. I used to say I was an emotional eater. Then my cousin shot herself, and I thought, here I go again. But I didn't splurge or binge. I remained calm in the eating aspect and let out my emotions rather than acting like everything was fine.

    I let out my emotion - and released my fears, tears, etc. I didn't cram any food down. I am nearly at a 20 pound loss!

    I decided, all the skinny people say the same thing, and since I want to be skinny - I gotta do it too. The skinny people eat less and move more. I pay attention to every morsel. I exercise. I used to hate hate HATE to sweat. Now the day starts with a workout and I love every hard as hell minute of it.

    You have to want this for no one but yourself, love yourself, enough. I simply said this to myself - "Why do I worship the Lord, love others, take care of everyone, and then hurt myself with this stupid eating? Isn't that going against my beliefs? To not love myself?" The self abuse stopped. I feel like I am free. I am free to do this. I am free to feel all the emotions I face, and just live. It's true freedom. It's not easy. No simple solution. Just being realistic about food, exercise, and emotions. It's hard, If you want something, you work for it. This is work. But the result is wonderful!

    (Can you hear Mel Gibson's scream of "FREEEDOM" from Braveheart?) lol


    3842 days ago
  • ANDRINE48
    I am so there too! Just got finished lurking on Spark for months and starting blogging and exercising. emoticon
    3842 days ago
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