Maybe I should have known...
Saturday, May 15, 2010
It never seems to fail. When I have a good/great day, I usually end up having a terrible day the next several days to make up for the good/great day I had. If this is negativity, then I guess I need more help.
I woke up this morning after a wonderful 8 hours of sleep to find my daughter angry at me about something and she didn't change her attitude for over 3 hours. She is only 9 and has not learned yet to let go of a grudge. I felt miserable all day because of the anger feelings we both ended up having this morning.
I had a spa party to introduce a particular skin care line to my friends and only one showed up. That caused a disappointment that added to the miserable feeling.
Then, my job caught up to me. I had to work for an hour today. That is not what bothered me. The problem is....my daughter is mature enough to leave alone for an hour or two, but I guess from what she told me tonight, she was angry this morning because my job is causing me to leave her alone more often than what she finds acceptable. I just don't know what to do. I can't afford daycare; my bank sent me an overdraft statement today for a charge that looks like it was double charged and the bank was closed when I got the mail so I couldn't find out what was going on there. The neighbors are very understanding, but they don't want to raise my daughter for me. I can't blame them. I wouldn't want to raise their kids for them either. My family is either working also, or too sick to care for an active 9 year old. And my friends are busy with their lives. I don't know what to do. I work for a company that deals with confidentiality issues and I can't take her with me, but I don't want her thinking I care more for my job than I do for her.
OMG!! I just read this whine page!! I am so sorry, but I gotta tell ya. When my one friend showed up for the spa party, I told her the same thing.
I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP AND LETTING LIFE GET ME DOWN AGAIN. I AM FED UP WITH TRYING AND ONLY GETTING SO FAR BEFORE I AM PUSHED BACK DOWN. I AM TIRED OF BEING THE WET BLANKET WHEN MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO GO SKATING. "WE CAN'T AFFORD IT" "WE HAVE NO MONEY"
I FEEL LIKE MY LIFE ISN'T GOING TO GET BETTER. AND I WONDER IF THERE IS ANY HOPE.