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It's Not Just About Me - W3.D5

Friday, May 07, 2010

As a person needing to lose a considerable amount of weight, I tend to find myself focusing on...well, myself a lot more than usual in this process. What do I need to eat? What do I need to do today? I whine to my husband (yes, I whine) "But I need to eat XXX amount of calories for this meal!" I don't take into account what he would like to eat for dinner any longer...or my children for that matter.

Case in point, two nights ago I pull into the driveway and am met by two very hungry little boys and one big hungry boy. My husband whines (yes, he whines too), "Man! I was hoping to get a chance to talk to you while you were still in town so I could have to pick up a couple of pizzas for dinner." Excuse me? PIZZA? Are you friggin' out of your ever lovin' mind with that? Pizza! The nerve! The audacity! I'll admit it, my jaw dropped and I thought, "Have you forgotten that *I* (there's that stupid word again) am on a diet?!"

I ended up marching right into the house and making a healthy dinner for the family. I was tired, exhausted actually, after a very long day of the whole work-school-work thing and *I* still needed to exercise. I grumbled through the preparations of dinner. I muttered some not-so-nice words under my breath.

Last night (a late night for me when I don't get home until about 10pm and hubby and kids are forced to fend for themselves) I noticed that the boys went out and got themselves that pizza they had wanted...and I realized that *I* had gotten my way the night before.

So what we do on this journey affects those around us. Husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, children, even parents! We're so determined to change our lives that we just go right on ahead and change their lives as well...without asking for permission. Now, I'm not exactly saying that this is a bad thing. In fact, I think it is really great that my boys are all forced to eat healthier just because I am. In a way, I feel like I'm taking care of them with my selfishness. Because what *I* have been noticing is the positive changes.

emoticon Hubby is losing weight.
Now hubby doesn't necessarily need to lose much weight - he's about 5'8 (though he'll tell you he's 5'10, which is completely rediculous!) and weighed about 195 when we - look at that! I really meant *I* - started this. The other day he hopped on my scale and was down to about 180. His gut is getting smaller, his pants loose on him, and he may even be starting to get a few muscles here and there.

emoticon My boys are eating healthy!....well, most of the time.
Now I can't control the crap they feed my children at school (we have free lunches and I'm not about to turn that down right now..just can't afford to), but when they are home with me I know they're getting fruits and veggies, fresh foods over processed crap. These are wonderful habits to start them on! Plus, they're trying new things. Sometimes with disasterous results (I still can't get my 8 year old to eat most of the veggie dishes I prepare - though he about begs every night for the chicken stir fry with rice...but he basically eats around the veg) - but they are having more than fried bologna sandwiches and grilled cheese and mac-n-cheese! There are salads and roasted veggies and vegetable soup and hummus/avacado sandwiches (my 10 year old LOVES these!).

emoticon There is a lot less video game action happening.
I *hate* that my kids play video games so much. I do NOT want my children to suffer through being the fat kid (though they're both boys, so it wouldn't be quite as difficult - THANK GOD!) like I did. I want them to have happy, healthy, lively and active lives! There are times in the summer that I literally lock my children outside of the house. It sounds mean, but it is absolutely necessary in this day and age to tell them, "Don't come back for an hour!" They whine for 10 minutes, and then I find them playing soccer in the yard or hiking up the back hill to find something neat to look at through the microscope at home. I used to send them out alone...now we go out together!

emoticon They understand that fresh = better.
Ethan (8 year old) talks to me all the time about how he knows that fresh food is better than packaged. This is a great lesson to learn so young...and if I can teach him just that one thing, then I feel he'll be much more prepared for life than I was. He also knows that the level of health in food goes fresh - frozen - canned. He knows that too much salt isn't good for you (though try prying the soy sauce out of his hands whenever he has rice...kung-fu grip there!). I'm teaching him and leading by example...that's good!

So, yes...I am selfish. And, yes, I realize now that I have taken over my household and enforced my "skinny" rules on everyone, even though they aren't exactly "fat" to begin with. But I don't feel one ounce of guilt in this. I really don't. Everyone in the world deserves to be healthy. Every person I love should eat well and exercise because *I* want them to have a quality life that they can really enjoy. Where, exactly, is the harm in that?

Of course, my husband admitted to me the other night that he had been having dreams - yes, dreams - about McDonald's and had considered going to town, rushing to the counter and saying, "Give me your fattest, greasiest, highest calorie hamburger." (Now doesn't that sound AWFUL?) I just smiled, glad he hadn't given into his urge.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think this healthy lifestyle change is probably one of the best things we can be doing for our families...I know I sure wish my mom would have sent me down this road at a much earlier age! And it is amazing how accepting the kids are, for the most part. My husband isn't quite so enthusiastic...he's not giving up his old ways quite so easily...but he knows he should...and he WILL eventually.

    You are doing a great job! You should be proud of setting this example for your kids so that they have these healthy habits for the rest of their lives...it is a great feeling knowing that we are making it so they won't have to go through what we did.

    And I totally agree about certain foods just shouldn't be brought in...at least not right now...I, too, am one of those people that have certain foods that are just too dangerous to have around...

    As always,
    Stay Strong!!
    4016 days ago
    You are doing a great job! My husband is a little skinny guy, but recently we've been watching documentaries together like Food, Inc. and we've also seen Super Size Me. While you may be doing it to lose weight, maybe your husband could find other reasons for wanting to eat a healthy lifestyle (fewer chemicals, McDonalds is kind of evil, better for the environment, etc.), while my husband doesn't care about losing weight, he is totally on the bandwagon to eliminate processed foods from our diet b/c now he knows about all the other deleterious consequences.

    Just a thought, and either way you are kicking butt! It's great to hear how much you are educating your kids and being a role model for your whole family! emoticon
    4016 days ago
    The first time I tried Spark (which was last year) I gave up. At that time I was just trying to make separate meals for myself. This time on the second day in I realized that if it isn't good for me to eat cereal for breakfast and pb and j for lunch every day with no fruits or veggies, that it isn't good for my kids either. At that point I put my entire family on my meal plan, and my 8 year old has even learned about exchanges "I don't want milk, can I have cheese or yogurt?" I don't measure out what they eat, and that is the difference, I guess. They can be trusted to use their own judgement on fullness, while I cannot. My husband weighs 150, btw. How ridiculous is that? Drives me crazy. He is 5 ' 8 and he weighed 110 when we started dating. If anything, he is constantly needing to gain weight. Sometimes I want to punch him lol
    4016 days ago
  • DLEE27
    Great blog girlie! You're right - this does effect everyone around us. I'm lucky right now because it's just me for the next 6 weeks.
    You're kids are so lucky to have such a great mom, and it's awesome that they are so willing to jump on board!
    4016 days ago
  • SUGIRL06
    I love this post!!!! It is so true. People forget that your journey is going to affect those around you! I'm lucky that my hubby is on board with it but sometimes he whines. I'll say "how about pasta for dinner" meaning a veggie primavera thing and he's thinking "yes!!! lots and lots of pasta! a little sauce, TONS of parmesan. Maybe some ground beef. and NO VEGGIES" so he's disappointed after I make him pasta. LoL. But now I try to let him pick at least 1 dinner a week where I will make whatever he wants. I can always cook some veggies on the side for myself! At least your family seems to be going along with it mostly! Just let them have a pizza night here and there? You can make an individual pita pizza for yourself ;)
    4016 days ago
    Harmony - I hope to be able to check out these alternatives a bit later...but for right now it's best for me to just STAY AWAY from what I call my "trigger foods". I can eat a half a large pizza by myself in one sitting because it's one of those foods I eat mindlessly. I'm giving myself some time away from stuff like this (so seeing extra pizza in the fridge last night nearly killed me! *lol*).

    I did try to make them a veggie pizza on flour tortillas the other night. Hubby said "It's not pizza, but it's friggin' amazing!" Just a tortilla, some olive oil, spices, a tiny bit of parm, some mozz. cheese and some mushrooms on top. Tasted like cheesy bread or something!
    4016 days ago
    I am amazed every day at the quality of writing on these blogs. This is entertaining, informative, and truly a joy to read. Thanks.
    4016 days ago
    You're not really selfish, you're just making a lot better choices. And it seems to be paying off. We all need to love ourselves and think about 'me'. Thanks for the good insight.
    4016 days ago
    You are teaching your kids healthier habits and that is a great thing for a parent to do and your hubby will live longer with the health benefits of a better diet. You can also introduce health-ier alternatives to the family favorites. There are some frozen pizzas on the market that are not calorie, fat or sodium bombs (kashi?) and that taste great when you add extra turkey pepperoni and chopped veggies before you bake. Also, the hubby and I still enjoy an occasional burger, made with very lean beef on an Arnolds sandwich thin "bun" with a slice of low fat cheese and a side of baked fries.
    4016 days ago
    Calli..Very good well thought out blog!! I give it a 5 star rating. Good for you being such a great mom and wife. Also remember that it's okay to be flexible once in a while.

    Wow I think you are a great mom and wife. Those lessons that you are teaching your family are so great. Keep up the good work! emoticon
    4016 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/7/2010 9:15:35 AM
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