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Nagging (Just Ignore)

Monday, November 20, 2006

To love myself is to like myself as I'm now.

I've always wanted to be a smaller size but, trying to lose weight is very hard and emotionally from my own point of view I know it's hard. I've tried everything diet pills after diet pills, to counting calories, low carb to low calories intake smaller protions this amount of food that amount and so own. Haven't yet to do surgery because I want to do it the right way and for those that don't have money for surgery we try our best to do it the right way working our butts off to eating healthy and exercising to by the lates exercise machines to pay coaches at a gym and so on. I look at myself now and say that I need to be healthy and not worry so much about what the scale says don't get me wrong yes, I still want to reach my goal weight of 160 but, right now I'm aiming for 180 at this point. I've lost 53 pounds but, gain here and there here and there so every now and then I will see that scale go up or it will go back down. I don't want to rush the progress I want to be able to love myself now before getting to my goal weight. At times I look at myself and say you looking good but, at times I look at myself and say dang what's taking so long to get this fat off. I'm not the only plus size woman that has over 100 pounds to lose that don't think any different. There are so many of us that hate to get on that scale and see they didn't lose anything and be so upset at themselves for all the hard work they have tried I know I'm one of them.



I'm not saying that I don't want to lose weight I just want to be able to do it the right away and be able to love myself as I am doing it. I still workout when I am not lacking off and so try my damns to eat right there are times I don't eat what I'm supposed to but, remember that trying to change your lifestyle it take sometime to get the habbit that you is so used to away from you.



I've always heard that well it's they fault that they fat and they should lose the weight. Well if they was a overweight person then they should know that it's not always our fault a lot of us eat from emotionally, stress or depression a lot of reason for a person to be overweight but, they also have to remember that it wasn't gain in one day it takes years to gain weight depending on the person health and wellbeening. It can't be lose in days either it takes years also depending on the person and how they are trying to get the weight off. I can say that but, on the other hand at times I wish it wasn't true that it take so long to lose the weight.



I felt it would be right to write my journey of my weight lost. There will be some emotionally feels I will write day in and day out.



I've concern so many times just giving up I say I don't want the scale to define me but, that dang scale just wont move down so it's like I'm having the scale define me when I should be looking on the inside out. Hard to do huh? Yes, when you so used to looking at your outside. I know I am.



There is a lot to learn while trying to lose weight and make yourself healthy. I also say don't think of it as a diet think of it as a new lifestyle a new way to live. A diet is mainly something to do at that time but, also diet isn't long term you can bump back from a diet. Choosing a new lifestyle in the way you eat and exercise become somethng of a habbit to you on a daily bases. Remember you have to be motived you will have those days that you want to just give up. I know I have those days when I be like why am I doing this why why why??? I will ask myself but, then after awhile I will think to myself on how unhappy I was when I wasn't eating right or exercising when I was emotionally with my eating and stressed out that I will grab a bag of chips or cookies and eat away. I think about all that then I want to get on track again after thinking so negative I fix myself up to want to try harder for myself. Me, myself and I.



Smaller portion is my hard thing very hard I can't never seem to keep to smaller portion. I have brought smaller bowls in order to help me out even smaller plates. I sometimes will measure my food but, at times I wont measure and do it by eye but, I was only cheating myself at it at that point. I find myself working out and feeling so good about the workout that I will find myself keep going. I've been coming more and more comforable with my body now don't know but, haven't lost another pound yet but, just feeling more comforable now then before well when I went off and slipped and wasn't doing anything for a minute. I have been having a little slip ups like eating cake candy but, didn't go over my calories so doing that very well.

I also found myself breaking my 8:30 no eating rule probably because I stayed up alot later last night and I became hungry hungry and I had to break it my stomach just wasn't hearing that I wasn't supposed to eat it was hearing that I better put something in here.



I have a big journey ahead of myself:)



Diary Of A Mad Dieting Woman



That is half way off the road.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GADIVA
    Lesa,

    I totally agree with you. We all go through the same thing, even me. I have good days, bad days, weight decreases, weight increase, and mood swings. Regardless we need to stay focus, because WE camed too far to throw in our towel. You are a very inspiring person, and I don't want you to give up.

    You are a source of wisdom and strength to many people.

    GaDiva
    5349 days ago
  • SCRYSTL608
    Lesa , I think many of us would have similar journal entries-hats off to setting healthy realistic goals.It's hard to both love oneself and so desperately want to change oneslf. One day at a time -one meal at a time.Weight often plateaus(sp?). Sometimes if you vary your caloric intake ie 3days at 1800 cal then 2 days at 1200 cal it will break that barrier.
    Jane
    5363 days ago
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