Thursday, April 01, 2010
I am cooking myself right now.. I'm back from vacation and trying to be overly productive.. turning in scholarship applications... working on my dissertation... making progress on articles and reports for my job. I am breaking inside.. I can't work this hard and take care of myself and get rest. I don't know how anyone else does it. I don't feel motivated to work on my dissertation.. its so much harder than anything I've ever done (okay maybe not as hard as chemistry..but still.. hard). I feel like I can't find that gem of inspiration within me to just try. I have a meeting with my advisor in the morning and I really wanted to show her progress. Instead, I'll just have to be honest. SIGH. Having such a hard time not being perfect.
Vacation weight came down a bit today.. that was nice to see. However, I had a few treats today.. hopefully that won't do much damage. All this stress has me screaming for sugar. I think I'm doing REALLY well to have not brought a family pack of anything dangerous inside the house. Oh, and I cooked today, and bought groceries.. in the face of challenges, some progress...
Saying my prayers, although I'm a stress bubble, my family is alive, and mostly doing well. Praying for those who are struggling.