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Time for a little honesty

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Ok, here goes. Tonight I did a BIG thing for me. I've known my boyfriend for 3 years and I had yet to show him my "before" pictures which are two of the worst pictures of me ever. They scare me. But I hold on to them to remind me of how far I've come. Anyway. I'd been debating a long time when to show him, I was scared, I don't know why, just was. But tonight I had a feeling that I should show him, that the time was right and here's what he said after me rambling on nervously about what I thought he would think. lol

"I didn't think anything because you're not her. And you told me time and again you're not going back and I believe you, further more I won't let you and I know T.K. won't.
The only thing I thought was this incredible woman is trusting me with something very near and dear to her.".......and.....Thank you for trusting me with it and in all honesty it just made you hotter. Where your body is now..
If you wanna keep losing weight, I ain't gonna stop you but where you are now...
*thumbs up*

I literally cried. I couldn't believe how incredible he was about it. There are other factors to it..I know why because we've shared some pretty deep things and also it's God in his life that makes him who he is. I don't believe he'll ever completely understand how much I love him and how much he means to me. He keeps saying the same to me, "I love you so much, more than you'll ever know"...we're sappy I know...lol *sigh* it's just this was HUGE for me to show someone and to trust someone like that and for him to have a positive reaction, just blew me away. Praise Jesus! =D
So, I have been avoiding posting my old before pics here because I've been scared to, but now I feel like I can and should.

So...there she is. The girl I've been hiding. The girl I hid behind for so long.
I am no longer that girl and I'm not going back there. I am a new person.

It amazes me, back then, I had all these aches and pains, got winded doing the simplest tasks such as making my bed or putting on socks. I couldn't move the way I move now. I have SO much more energy, so much more life, I'm more positive (still have my down times) but my self-esteem and outlook is a lot better. There are a lot of changes, but it's late and I don't want to list them all right now, maybe one day I will, they are in my fitness book. I just have to keep remembering the successes. I CANNOT get discouraged! I Have to keep at it. It's my life, my health and I owe it to God and myself to take care of this body.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD5635700
    You have come such a long way! You are a beautiful person. Just know that! And, I am very proud of you. emoticon
    3621 days ago
    I want to give you a standing ovation! What a courageous thing to do! To share a part of yourself that you've hidden with the person you love? That is awesome and you have conquered yet another step. I applaud you!
    3623 days ago
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