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Life Can Be So Stressful

Monday, March 22, 2010

Stress can sure make this journey more difficult. I never knew you could have so much stress at one time. My life has taken an interesting twist since the first of the year. Last year we had to move DH's mom and step dad into an assisted living apartment. It was not what they wanted, but the doctor had deemed it a necessary, because of his mom's alzheimer's and his step dad arthritis. They really couldn't take care of themselves Eventually they agreed and it proved to be just what they needed. Living 400 miles away, we didn't realize just how bad it had gotten until we started to clean their house. There were bills that hadn't been paid in months and just so much not dealt with. After several weeks we got things straightened out. All went well for several months.

In the fall his step dad started having stomach problems and couldn't eat. He was in and out of the hospital for two months before having to go into a nursing home. He continued to deteriorate until January when he went into the hospital. He passed away in February. We were there for the last week of his life and spent many hours by his side during that time. He was retired military and as such had everything pre-arranged which was a blessing. Telling his mom was so hard because she didn't understand. She finally understood when she was at the visitation and saw him in the casket and when she was presented with the flag at the funeral. We remained up there with her for awhile. We continued to go back & forth quite often.

We had a trip planned there to celebrate some family birthdays and spend time with her when we got the call that she cannot stay at the apartment anymore. She needs more care than they are licensed to give her. So we went up there several days early and talked to the nurses there. His mom has really gone down and it was heartbreaking to see how much in the two weeks we had been home. So we spent several days visiting places to move her to. It was such a difficult decision, but we have found a wonderful place. It is bright and sunny and they have a lot of programs to help her. It also came highly recommended by people we knew. So now we are in the process of making the necessary arrangements. We now have to explain all of this to her. That is where the real stress will be...making her understand. She gets confused so easily.

DH retires on April 2 and we will not move her until that next week. That way we can spend some time with her helping her adjust. But we will also have to go home to start getting things ready for our move back there. Since we will be moving into their old house, we have a lot of work to get done to prepare it. I am not looking forward to the next several months. Between all the work and the traveling back & forth and taking care of her, it will be chaotic. She has been a part of my life for 37 years. She is such a sweet lady and it is so hard to see her like this...like a child in so many ways.

So now I hit a plateau...not losing, but not gaining. I know I need to work harder to make sure I eat right and get the necessary exercise, but some days I just want to crawl back in bed and put the covers over my head and let the world go by. Unfortunately that isn't possible. They say the tough times will make you stronger, I sure hope so. My grandmother used to tell us that God never gives you more than you can handle. I wish He didn't trust me so much.

And so another day goes by...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD4114015
    I agree with the others about your weight issues. You are doing everything you should in such stress...and it will work out when you become less stressed.
    As for your mother, my heart goes out to you...I was in almost the exact scenario in 2004 with my mother. My dad had died in 1999 and he had hinted she was showing signs of Alzheimer's but I was in denial (I had watched my grandmother...her mother...gradually succumb to the disease in 1986). The worst came about and this time I was in charge. Somehow it does end. You will make it through. I believe that Alzheimer's is one of the most cruel diseases one can have. Take care and remember you CAN do it!
    4063 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2332407
    Never Give Up. As long as you are eating healthy and getting the rest you need, your body will thank you for it later. As someone else said: This too will pass. You are in my prayers.
    God Bless
    4063 days ago
    My prayers have been being said for you for a while and they will not stop. You will get through this one day at a time. Nobody promises easy just that we make it through these difficult times in life. You are doing awesome with your exercising that you have gotten in and then to be able to maintain is awesome. Right now it isn't about your journey here except to eat as healthy as you can, to keep yourself healthy. The nerves stressful energy has to be burning calories all the time for you.
    My heart goes out to all of you!
    4063 days ago
    I agree with Karen; I think that NOT gaining in the face of all that is an accomplishment. Keeping you in my prayers that things move along as smoothly as possible for you.
    4063 days ago
  • --KREN
    NOT GAINING is a wonderful achievement during all this stress! You are really doing great. You WILL come out the happier, easier side in the near future. Hang in there! Karen
    4063 days ago
    And this too will pass--a favorite saying of my mother's when I got "stressed." It sure doesn't seem like it will pass or all come out in the wash but it does. Take care of yourself and even if you just maintain, that will be great. You can get back on track when things calm down.
    4063 days ago
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