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Battling Depression

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hi everyone,
Please let me start by apologizing, I have been MIA and for that I am truly sorry. I have been battling depression. I have been to the doctors and currently taking medication. Its helping but there are many things to contend with. Among the lows and I mean LOWS with capital letters, there is the endless tiredness and lack of focus. There are sleepless nights filled with worry, anxiety and endless chatter that is so not nice. Filling my head with thoughts like you aren't good enough, you'll never be good enough, it goes on and on. Sometimes I feed into it and start to believe the messages, other times I fight back and scream to it, NO you are wrong, go away, leave me alone. There are times I want to give into the depression, stay in bed, not leave the house, not clean, not cook, not engage, but thats letting the depression win, and I can't, no I WONT allow it!! So here I am in this........what do you call it? Whatever it is it makes it very hard to stay healthy it makes it very hard to reach your goals and stay proactive, it makes it hard to even pack your healthy food for the day, or your gym bag. But what is the alternative.....for anyone that is battling depression, please do not give up, please do not give in. Be proactive in your care, go to the doctors, get help, seek therapy, get your support group around you, ask for help, read self-help books, do what you can to stay in the positive even when you are at your lowest, because you are not alone, there is a lot of love and support out there for you!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD10018622
    You are so in my prayers as you go through this. I understand and pray you find the direction that brings deliverance from the depression. emoticon Darlene
    3334 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Robin, I also suffer from depression and going to a therapist for talk therapy. Please take care of yourself. This is a problem many of us suffer and never feel ashamed.
    3334 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1234936
    I understand, I too, am on the same journey. We can and will overcome. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3350 days ago
  • ZVER1028
    So many people suffer in silence as they don't want anyone to know that they are dealing with depression. There still is a stigma attached to it to this day. Good for you for seeking out help - pushing yourself - even when it feels like the world is falling in around you. Some days you will stumble - some days you will be victorious...trying to stay healthy every day - that's what's important.

    emoticon
    Lisa
    4043 days ago
  • HEATHHILL
    It is a very difficult thing to battle depression, but you seem to be doing what you need to. Get support, get medical attention, and take care of yourself.

    You are worth it. We are all worth it. Take it one day at a time, and be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

    emoticon
    4071 days ago
  • SPARKPIXIE
    Just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers.
    4078 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4756432
    no need to apologize girlfriend...just know we are here for you. welcome back! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4078 days ago
  • 3CHIHUAHUA
    i am in the battle with ya sister
    arn and arm
    in the fight


    summer time
    (when school is out) is hardest for me
    work gives me a reason to get out of bed




    now flower power!
    4078 days ago
  • no profile photo ENJOYINGMYLIFE
    I battle with depression, too. Don't give up. It's more common than you know and there are lots of people out here willing to love on you. Praying that things look up for you soon.
    Blessings,
    Cathy
    emoticon
    4078 days ago
  • MOMM4LIFE
    emoticon
    4078 days ago
  • no profile photo CHOCMOM
    Robin emoticon emoticon I've missed you. I totally understand what you are going through. I've been through it. In the past few weeks, I've been in such a funk, that I have been binging and ignoring my exercise routine. Off and on throughout my adult life I have battled depression, took medication, had therapy sessions, refused to get out of bed. My advice (from experience), let the doctor(s) know exactly how you are doing, keep a diary! Because I found that some meds actually made me worse in different ways. Some of the meds, kept me out of the bed, but made me angry with the world. Know that your meds will react to different foods, other medications and alcohol. Alcohol made my depression soooooo much worse - I finally gave it up 3 years ago and my depression improved. It also improved when I started eating right and exercising - but that is something that I have to remind myself of daily!!!!

    I haven't been sparking much this last month because of depression (off and on), and I was so happy to see a blog from you, but sad for what you are going through. You are at a great age! Take advantage of it, find every reason, no matter how small to love life - I wish I had done that when I was your age, instead of being depressed and angry all the time.

    I am probably not helping much. I just miss you girl - there was a time in my "spark life" that you sparked me on to success. I need that now. My scales have been moving in the wrong direction. Take care - hope you will continue to try to Spark your life.

    emoticon emoticon
    4078 days ago
  • MARIADALE
    I am so sorry to hear that you are in this dark place...but recognizing it is the first step in fighting it. I will pray for your recovery.
    4078 days ago
  • DAWNOPFER
    Oh honey - I can so relate to you! More than you can EVER even imagine. I had days even weeks where I didn't get out of bed. I have since been through counseling and yes, I am medicated. BUT, it took a couple therapists and a psychiatrist to get to where I am now. It took some trial and error to get the right combination of meds just right. Hang in there. There truly is light out there.

    emoticon
    4079 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3598327
    Robin - I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It's great to see and hear from you again! Let me know if I can help! Hugs!
    4079 days ago
  • HEALTHY-GG
    emoticon emoticon I a glad you are back sparking!
    Reach out if you need a pick me up! We are here for you.
    ((Hugs)) and prayers, GG
    4079 days ago
  • FIGHT2SURVIVE
    Depression does not have the stigma it once had. Dan Rather coming on TV and talking about his bout with depression really helped. It may be that you need an adjustment in the dosage of your medication. I have a hard time shutting off my mind at night and then you don't get enough sleep and that makes it worse. I really hope you feel better soon. And welcome back!
    Erin
    4079 days ago
  • JILLWILSON2102
    Robin - emoticon emoticon , oh my goodness. There are many of us that have walked or still walk these same shoes. I am so sorry that you carrying this heavy burden. I am glad, though, that you have sought us out for some support, cuz you know you are going to get just that.

    First, if you are not going to some counseling, please consider it. Being able to learn some coping strategies from a trained person can be invaluable. Also, try some journaling at night when those voices kick in and get it out of your head and onto some paper where you can then close the covers and put it away.

    Second, please seek some of the other teams here at SP that deal with depression. There are quite a few and I want to encourage you to look at some of them from a support standpoint.

    Third, it sounds like, you still have that strong fighting attitude which is going to get you through this. Try to keep that attitude and those strong feelings close. Keep your SP friends close, and just let the good voices crank up really loud. Please know that you are loved in a big way!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4079 days ago
  • TRANSMOGRIFIED
    The sleepless nights are the worst -- I agree with everything you said. I struggled for so long without help and am glad I finally found some. People think they're alone, and that's often the worst thing of all. Best of luck to you.
    4079 days ago
  • JTSSCWJ
    Wow- sounds like I could have written the same thing. I used to take anti depressants- but I was dragging. I decided to stop them and try on my own. I have been depressed my intire life. They just did not diagnose it then.
    I feel I am doing much better now.I have had a rough three years and hope to get back to the things I like.
    4079 days ago
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