Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Please let me start by apologizing, I have been MIA and for that I am truly sorry. I have been battling depression. I have been to the doctors and currently taking medication. Its helping but there are many things to contend with. Among the lows and I mean LOWS with capital letters, there is the endless tiredness and lack of focus. There are sleepless nights filled with worry, anxiety and endless chatter that is so not nice. Filling my head with thoughts like you aren't good enough, you'll never be good enough, it goes on and on. Sometimes I feed into it and start to believe the messages, other times I fight back and scream to it, NO you are wrong, go away, leave me alone. There are times I want to give into the depression, stay in bed, not leave the house, not clean, not cook, not engage, but thats letting the depression win, and I can't, no I WONT allow it!! So here I am in this........what do you call it? Whatever it is it makes it very hard to stay healthy it makes it very hard to reach your goals and stay proactive, it makes it hard to even pack your healthy food for the day, or your gym bag. But what is the alternative.....for anyone that is battling depression, please do not give up, please do not give in. Be proactive in your care, go to the doctors, get help, seek therapy, get your support group around you, ask for help, read self-help books, do what you can to stay in the positive even when you are at your lowest, because you are not alone, there is a lot of love and support out there for you!!!