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Thank YOU

Monday, March 01, 2010

I haven't lost any weight (although I got back down to my ticker weight). I didn't do so hot on my end of February goals for a report card (let's just say straight C's and be done with it). I'm so far off budget because of eating out, it's not even funny (not anymore!).

But that's all okay. Why? Because I gained something, rather, regained, something far more important today.

The boy and I were speaking about an ex of his (don't get me started on how she came up, it just pisses me off). And I told him to do as he wishes about her. He said to me, "Until I figure out what to do with you, I'm not going to kill it."

I didn't even get mad. Because I finally have a clue where he's standing. That doesn't make him right on where he's standing, but at least I'm not wondering what exactly we are. I know we're in the gray area and that he's still confused.

But you guys are the reason I could calmly and rationally think that out. Why? Because over the past few days, the messages, blog comments, page comments, and thoughts directed my way have reminded me of my worth. Between you guys and some friends (Jennifer, Ariel, Derrick and Joe) reminded me when it's been dark for me that I'm a catch and if he doesn't see that, then he doesn't deserve me.

So you know what I did? I emailed him. (I couldn't respond immediately because he went to lunch). And I told him that he doesn't have long left. That if he can't see my worth, if he can't see that we all have faults and that mine are worth the good times, then I've underestimated him. To still be confused about me is a travesty and it's unfair. And that I am NOT going to be that girl that waits. That waits until he finds someone else and get my heart broken. I reminded him that what I am and what I will be are amazing. That I'm not easy, but oh is the fight worth it.

And I believe that. And I told him that. I feel soooo good for getting that out there. I said early on that I would give him two weeks after his busy season to figure it out. His busy season ended Friday. I'm going to stand by my word. But now he knows. Now he knows that he doesn't have long. It's not going to be sprung on him randomly later.

So thank you folks. For standing up for me when I wasn't doing a very good job standing up for myself. For reminding me of my worth as a person and my value to others.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CLALIZ
    I hope he gets it right before it's too late. You have waited enough and it has tormented you the fact that he doesn't make up his mind, and you are right, it's not fair.
    emoticon tic toc
    Have a beautiful day, beautiful girl!
    3972 days ago
  • CINDYDAVIS04
    Yay Yay Yay!!!! This is an awesome blog about an awesome step forward for you! I hope for your heart that he really does wise up, but if not, then honey - keep on keepin on. You DESERVE someone that reconizes the amazing person that you are, and you should never settle for anything less!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3972 days ago
  • AWOLF24
    Yea!!! Good for you - you ARE worth it!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3972 days ago
  • BALANCEDLIFE4ME
    Big hugs!!! Having supporters is wonderful, but you realizing what is in your best interest is HUGE! You are on track! emoticon emoticon
    3973 days ago
  • PURPLEVALENTINE
    Good for you!!!! emoticon
    3973 days ago
  • ONMYWAYTOGOAL
    Way to Go!!! I'm proud of you! emoticon
    3973 days ago
  • CHANCE0719
    Good for you!!! It kills me to see girls jerked around - I'm so glad 1.) That you REALIZE what you're worth and 2.) that you're acting on it!
    3973 days ago
  • MICHELLEKMO
    all i can say is GOOD FOR YOU! We all have to have a great handle on our self-worth --- and if we can't see it and be proud, others won't either (at least not for the right reasons) You have such a perfect attitude! Keep it up! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3973 days ago
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