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Soooooooooo Stressed

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I am in the throes of frustration with my degree... realizing I don't know whats going on with this dissertation, or how I can best approach it over the next 8 months-1 year (who's counting anymore). I have been trying not to tap into these feelings, of how frequently and easily I'm frustrated.

It was suggested today that I needed to take a vacation. I was so upset. I just want to get on track and get this ball moving forward! I realized I was a crying, sobby mess... so I came home. And then, I went all crazy.. on a larabar and a bailey latte. Once I had that, I was able to get back on track. I'm glad that it was an indulgence (that I made myself so I could do it moderately), and not an all-out binge as it may have been if I deprived myself more. I realized that I needed to have some compassion for myself.. I do feel better now. I have a tendency towards extremes, and just know today it wasn't working for me. So, instead, I'm sitting here in front of the TV with puffy eyes, watching inspirational stories on TV..and trying to exhale.

Bonus YAY for me: I did a weights workout this morning, before anything else :)

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon Your situation sounds so similar to what my sister went through, I almost wonder if you're in the same program? She was at UCSD and ended up with an ABD degree (the dreaded All But Dissertation). I don't even know if that is a possibility you might ever consider, but it is one path to remember exists. Sometimes just knowing a parachute is there helps even if we don't use it. I don't know anything about how hard you've worked toward this and what your field is, but if it is highly theoretical as my sister's program was, it can be a real challenge to see the forest for the trees. Hang in there! Something is bound to work out.

    BTW, the last time I cried because someone told me it seemed I needed a vacation was when a cop said it after she handed me my one and only traffic ticket in my entire life due to a rolling stop I made in the midst of moving and working 2 jobs.

    I think it is a good sign from the universe we are overextended, and some "time out" at least in some small way is a good thing.
    3651 days ago
    it is hard to see something when we're in the middle. and we may not always appreciate the perspective that someone else may have. I'm not saying you need a vacation as I obviously have no clue just weigh their words
    3651 days ago
    3651 days ago
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