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stirring things up

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I don't really want to "go there", but I will, and I don't want to piss anybody off, but I might...
I just have to say, and maybe I'm an "old school" lesbian, but I don't get the whole having babies thing - as lesbians. (not that there is anything wrong with that) I never wanted to have a baby. I used to tell my mom that I was having puppies! And that was even before (or maybe not) I knew "who" I was. Maybe it is just me, and has nothing to do with my sexual id, but seems like more and more couples are having kids........maybe it goes along with the whole marriage thing, which I know as a member of this community should be important to me, but that is not either. It was never necessary when I was younger and not an option that was out there so I never made it important. Does that make sense? But back to babies, it is a personal decision I know, it just seems to me the more new lesbian friends I make they have kids, or want to........Not me, is all I'm saying, and I used to be the majority, at least I thought. Any opinions? Go ahead, let me have it!
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  • FEELGREATIN2010
    I think desires to have kids are probably hardwired into our genes. My girlfriend is appalled by the idea of being pregnant herself--she's actually likened it to that scene in Alien--you know when the creature hatches in Sigourney Weavers' stomach? LOL. I, on the other hand, definitely feel a gut-feeling pull to have kids....someday, not NOW. It's odd that you say that you're in the minority--because amongst my group of friends, I'm definitely in the minority on the "want kids" front! Probably depends on who your friends are, and maybe where you live?

    Now I know I'm going into a long rambling post, but I agree with you personally on the marriage thing. Even if marriage becomes legalized, it probably won't mean the same thing to me as it does to many straight couples, because I've found ways to "legitimize" my relationship outside of that institution. Can't really wait around for legislation to pass before leading happy, fulfilled lives, can we? :-)

    Definitely agree with Strive--I think our ability to choose, and make desicions for ourselves makes life so much more interesting, AND complicated.
    3579 days ago
  • STRIVE4BALANCE
    I think there are too many labels and classifications. As LadyRaven said, some couples want kids and others do not. The only time that this preference is an issue is when one person in the couple wants kids and the other does not, I have seen this happen again and again. As for marriage, its like abortion, regardless of my opinion on the subject everyone should have the right to make the choice. It's that simple. Will I marry my girlfriend? Absolutely... mainly because of all the financial reasons like my federal taxes, health insurance, wills, and next of kin rights. So on and so on... straight couples have those rights and gays do not, and marriage is necessary to make it happen. I think we should not call it marriage for straight or gay couples, call it a legal partnership, period. Churches can make the decision of marriage or not. As for me, I think if your in a long term relationship with someone and you share finances like we do, marriage becomes more appealing every day, or at least some sort of legal partnership.
    3579 days ago
  • LADYRAVEN1963
    I'm from the Straight community, but I am in total agreement with you...we have no kids, and when people ask if/when we'll have Offspring and our answer is 'NEVER!' we get horrible looks! Where is it written that a couple (however you define couple) MUST have babies?
    3579 days ago
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