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Monday, February 22, 2010

So, I promised I would blog about the ups and the downs, right?

Up: I dropped .8 more pounds (seriously, like what is going on? i like it!)

Down: I got rejected from both postdocs I applied for. Yeah, I use the word rejected because I feel rejected. At the same time, I know that God's plan for me doesn't have to be something I can see right now. I may have an opportunity now to create the future I really want, instead of the one I see as the logical approach. Also, I really enjoyed being able to do several campus visits for one of the postdocs. I'm still grateful for that experience.

I would say this was a tough day. The dissertation felt as confusing as ever. However, I'm very happy to report that in the midst of disappointment, I'm trying to eat when I'm hungry, and not because I feel emotional or upset. The old thoughts came to my mind, with a different response: "Do I deserve a treat? No, food isn't about what you deserve.. just get what you need". So, when I met a friend at a cafe today, instead of a sugary drink, or even a sugar alternative drink, I had decaf coffee with skim milk, and a splash of half and half. (Yes, I know half & half has calories and fat... I'm acknowledging that!) LOL the old me would have had an amazing meal tonight that I hoped would solve how I felt about my problems. Instead, I'm working on solving the problems instead. And wouldn't you know, my friend helped me gain clarity about my dissertation and my life goals as our conversation unfolded.. without the help of added sugar ;0

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You should be so proud of yourself. While we love to see results on the scale the fact that you made 2 healthy decisions today is a huge testament to what you have learned and how far you have come.

    Seeing the big picture or better yet acknowledging you can't see the picture and that's ok is an incredible strength
    3648 days ago
    Sorry to hear about your postdocs (and you were not rejected) bit's just that God has a bigger plan for you and we never know of it until he's ready for us to.
    You are doing an emoticon job because you didn't let how you feel allow you to go back to old habits. I am proud of you for that.

    Hang in there, you are making wonderful strides which in the long run will help you reach your goals and get where you want to be. emoticon
    3648 days ago
    I love how we can always see things more clearly when they are happening to someone else. That's why it's great to have friends. I'm sorry about your postdocs but you are right. God's plan doesn't have to be something you can see right now.

    emoticon It's awesome you didn't turn to sugary treats to soothe the soul. emoticon You are really making progress.
    3648 days ago
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