Monday, February 22, 2010
So, I promised I would blog about the ups and the downs, right?
Up: I dropped .8 more pounds (seriously, like what is going on? i like it!)
Down: I got rejected from both postdocs I applied for. Yeah, I use the word rejected because I feel rejected. At the same time, I know that God's plan for me doesn't have to be something I can see right now. I may have an opportunity now to create the future I really want, instead of the one I see as the logical approach. Also, I really enjoyed being able to do several campus visits for one of the postdocs. I'm still grateful for that experience.
I would say this was a tough day. The dissertation felt as confusing as ever. However, I'm very happy to report that in the midst of disappointment, I'm trying to eat when I'm hungry, and not because I feel emotional or upset. The old thoughts came to my mind, with a different response: "Do I deserve a treat? No, food isn't about what you deserve.. just get what you need". So, when I met a friend at a cafe today, instead of a sugary drink, or even a sugar alternative drink, I had decaf coffee with skim milk, and a splash of half and half. (Yes, I know half & half has calories and fat... I'm acknowledging that!) LOL the old me would have had an amazing meal tonight that I hoped would solve how I felt about my problems. Instead, I'm working on solving the problems instead. And wouldn't you know, my friend helped me gain clarity about my dissertation and my life goals as our conversation unfolded.. without the help of added sugar ;0