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Article Links to Dealing with depression & 4 Kinds of Friends You Need

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Two articles worth reading. They aren't about weight loss but they are about getting healthy on the inside. I found them worth pondering and applicable to my current path in my healthy journey. Feel free to discuss your ideas of them in my comments or email me.

1. 11 Ways to Deal with the Death Thoughts of Depression and Anxiety.


Okay, yes, this is a bit heavy and maybe you don't get quite as dark in your depressions as death thoughts, but many of these tips apply to the lesser forms of depression and getting down on yourself. It all goes back to what I've spoken of many times in my blog and to friends about my getting healthy journey...sometimes you've got to give yourself a break.

I often scan blogs and pages on Spark looking to see what other people do and how they do it and what overwhelms me and makes me so sad is all the negativity and what I see as self-hate permeating so many things people say about themselves here. It breaks my heart, but I realize it is one of the very things that kept me stuck in cycles of self-hurting behaviors for years; not just with eating, but with choosing bad relationships, allowing myself to burn out because I didn't really think about myself or my needs, I was just too afraid to say no and all sorts of other little bad habits I had that kept me small, weak and ineffective at life and happiness. Once I learned to take care of myself in the dark times, my life didn't get perfect but I did start finding ways to still accomplish even the most difficult of my goals despite and during those dark times.

Life is going to throw stuff at you, and weight loss or getting fit just won't be, nor can it be, your sole or even primary focus. At least not while the crap is hitting the fan. If you've ever gotten to the level of death thoughts-- and yes, if you're wondering, I do and have since I was seven years old-- I can assure you that having learned the skill of caring for myself in the dark times, with skills such as this article suggests and many others, is why I've been successful in my journey.

These tips may not fix it or cure it, but they help you weather the dark times, honest. I'm saying this as much to myself as I am to you at this moment cause I'll admit, my days currently feel pretty darn bleak. Most people couldn't tell to look at me, and I continue to keep as much of my life going as is healthy and possible, but my emotions, and often how I feel about my life, is bleak. So no, losing the weight isn't going to make your life perfect, you're not going to wake up and suddenly find you're Cinderella and all your dreams come true. Lots of things will be better but the work ain't done till you're dead, so just know that and keep moving forward. Which is what I'm doing.

And realizing that when everything is really bleak around me, and those depressed and anxious feelings and thoughts are as constant as a dripping faucet, I need to remember that they're going to pull a lot of resources I'd otherwise have. That takes some remembering because even though each moment of them only looks like a small drop, when you put a bucket under that faucet you'll see how much it adds up to quite quickly. And remember you are human, you're resources aren't limitless. If some part of your life is sucking up your time/attention/energy and joy, you aren't going to have as much for the other areas.

And you can't kick yourself when you're down by criticizing or persecuting yourself for your "failures". So you got worn out and downed several handfuls of potato chips...seriously, let it go. Right now those dark clouds are giving you enough grief, don't compound it by tearing yourself down. Try not to do it, yes, but once it's done, let it go. And honestly, if, as is sometimes the case with me, eating those darned potato chips prevented you from doing some other self destructive lashing out then more power to you. Glory in those potato chips if they kept you from greater harm, heck, go have a few more and cheer that you managed to keep yourself safe at the cost of only a few carbs and fats! Seriously.

I don't think I need to explain that more in a public blog, but I'd be happy to discuss it further privately if you need clarification. Just think of it as a lesser of two evils...sometimes those potato chips aren't THE worst choice you can make. You have to deal with things in order of importance and you're got the whole rest of your life to work this out. Don't hate yourself cause today didn't get everything perfect. I mean, you've got to leave SOMETHING to do for tomorrow, right?

And something a little lighter but a topic equally important:

2. The 4 Kinds of Friends You Need In Your Life:

I think I might add to this list two more that I find valuable and seek out.
1. The Mentor/Teacher: This is a friend and sometimes a mentor who likes to share, explain and help others experience things, hobbies, ideas or skills in which they are experienced and proficient. This can be anything from a genre of literature, various kinds of art or music, child-rearing skills or carpentry or survival training. It's just someone who has a niche interest and passion which they love to share, and are patient with those not so fully 'in the know'. They are the ideal Sparkers as they often act like a flame, their passion is so strong that you can't help getting caught up in it, too.

Which leads me to the other type of friend I need
2. The Neophyte/Mentee...okay, maybe that's not a word. But this is the reciprocal to the Teacher. This is a friend who not only accepts your quirky little eccentric avocation or life-knowledge but enjoys learning about it and engaging in it with you. There's something about teaching someone else how you do what it is you do that really solidifies your own knowledge in totally new ways. And of course, the joy of seeing someone experience for the first time, and falling in love with something you love is almost as wonderful as that moment you first discovered it yourself. Remember that moment? That day of your life you first discovered one of your passions? Now, go find someone else who will catch your fever, and watch that spark first light their eyes when they do and you'll understand...especially with the younger generations, that will really keep you young and joyful. :)

As always, thank you for reading me. I do appreciate your support and all the comments you share, both here and in email privately. I wish you all joy and self-love today.

Copyright ©2009 Cassandra Kelly. All Rights Reserved.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can so, so relate.
    Thanks for the links, for your honesty, for all of your beauty shinging through!
    4207 days ago
    Thanks, I 'll read those articles soon. Party at the house tomorrow so I am still in decorating etc mode. emoticon
    4209 days ago
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