Ashtanga Yoga and Me
Monday, August 24, 2009
I wanted to "try" yoga so I called the yoga studio and asked about the only class that would work into my schedule.....Ashtanga.....Sat AM at 8am. I told her that the description on the website was not clear as to whether or not a newbie could attend. "I'll have the teacher call you"......she said.
She was kind, welcoming and asked if I had taken yoga before. I told her that my husband and I have done FitTV yoga in the past and she seemed to take that as a YES!
The first class was daunting and I was scared. I could bend over ok, but I could not do plank. I could sort of do upward dog and I could barely do downward dog in proper form. I had to do this sequence 5 times in a row..... Followed by many other sequences. I barely remember that day only 5 weeks ago. I was embarrased at how behind I was. I did not want to hold up my class. I was weak and I was incredibly sweaty. My teacher told me that I did great and that I was a natural. Wha???? I mean, I was the highest weight I had ever been....did she not see that? Could she not hear me panting?! She saw me taking breaks---lots of them! This class was not for beginners....(I have never taken power yoga, but this is what I imagined it to be)!
Despite my own self-doubt, I kept thinking about her and that she thought I was a natural. Her words stuck with me the entire week. She might have been telling a white lie, but then again, she might have gauged me and my determination and maybe she believed in me more than I believed in myself. Her words were a bridge I needed to take a step over this big gaping valley of fear. One day I will have to thank her for that.
My classes are not easy. She challenges me every time. I am beginning to believe in myself and challenge myself. Today, I did my first shoulder stand (yes, after only a few weeks!).
Her smile today spoke a million words to my heart. She was proud of me. But, I was so proud of myself!