rtlifestyle ups and downs
Friday, July 17, 2009
What makes us tough and survived? You decide after you read this. No right or wrong answers. Last year I lost my mother who just happened to be my best friend too. This year I lost my grandmother (who was my mother's mom). A week after my grandmother was buried, my sister had a bad car accident. She totalled her car. I was down in the dumps and all of a sudden, a voice said to me, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You are not that weak to stay down. My body lately, going through all this, has empty holes in it with despair and loneliness. I have to find a way to fill these holes up. Easy task? No. I can fill the two holes up that were the result of loosing my mom and grandmother will memories of all the things we did together and shared. Now, how am I ever going to fill up the hole that results in almost loosing my sister to the bad car accident? Oh, yes! It came to me today. I will have to gradually fill this one up with advise and love to her but without being walked on. It's tough love. I can't heal her of her emotional problems or her lifestyle. I will answer her calls and just listen to her first. Then, I'll do what I can to help her without babying her. The best gift I can give her, is self discipline that I only hope comes from this. I'll do things for her if she meets me half way. Life in not always easy. I have to take action myself to fill these holes up instead of wallering in them and waiting for something to happen. It doesn't work that way. It's like our new healthier lifestyle. It's a constant struggle (like emotionally eating tears away at our soul), but can be done. Imagine, the yellow brick road didn't get traveled in one day. It had struggles and road blocks, but we had to keep on walking until we got to our destination. We have to apply this to our new healthier lifestyle. Will I continue to have ups and downs? Of course. There are no simple instructions to overcome our burdens or loneliness from loosing someone we love. We are have to dig deep into our soul and pull it out. Then fill all the holes up. I hope this blog helps someone. It sure has been therapeutic for me. I hesitated this last line but am putting it in anyway. Some can take it or leave it. It's your choice. Maybe the peace and love of God be with you always. Without him, I do not exist.