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rtlifestyle ups and downs

Friday, July 17, 2009

What makes us tough and survived? You decide after you read this. No right or wrong answers. Last year I lost my mother who just happened to be my best friend too. This year I lost my grandmother (who was my mother's mom). A week after my grandmother was buried, my sister had a bad car accident. She totalled her car. I was down in the dumps and all of a sudden, a voice said to me, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You are not that weak to stay down. My body lately, going through all this, has empty holes in it with despair and loneliness. I have to find a way to fill these holes up. Easy task? No. I can fill the two holes up that were the result of loosing my mom and grandmother will memories of all the things we did together and shared. Now, how am I ever going to fill up the hole that results in almost loosing my sister to the bad car accident? Oh, yes! It came to me today. I will have to gradually fill this one up with advise and love to her but without being walked on. It's tough love. I can't heal her of her emotional problems or her lifestyle. I will answer her calls and just listen to her first. Then, I'll do what I can to help her without babying her. The best gift I can give her, is self discipline that I only hope comes from this. I'll do things for her if she meets me half way. Life in not always easy. I have to take action myself to fill these holes up instead of wallering in them and waiting for something to happen. It doesn't work that way. It's like our new healthier lifestyle. It's a constant struggle (like emotionally eating tears away at our soul), but can be done. Imagine, the yellow brick road didn't get traveled in one day. It had struggles and road blocks, but we had to keep on walking until we got to our destination. We have to apply this to our new healthier lifestyle. Will I continue to have ups and downs? Of course. There are no simple instructions to overcome our burdens or loneliness from loosing someone we love. We are have to dig deep into our soul and pull it out. Then fill all the holes up. I hope this blog helps someone. It sure has been therapeutic for me. I hesitated this last line but am putting it in anyway. Some can take it or leave it. It's your choice. Maybe the peace and love of God be with you always. Without him, I do not exist.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow, a powerful self talk you did today. You have set those boundries and I applaud you. You cannot allow yourself to become the victim. You do what you are able to do without inabling. I wish you much comfort and hopefully we at SP can fill some of those holes.
    4349 days ago
  • BETRME100
    Great blog, Roe! You are such an inspiration to so many!! Thanks for sharing your struggles and triumphs with us!

    4349 days ago
    This blog has really helped me. Thanks Roe !!!
    4349 days ago
    I love you mentioned the yellow brick road--I like it going to OZ or mentioned in song by Elton John....I, too, believe in God & he is my strength( I used to be an agnostic & I think anyone confused in what they believe & if they are very intellectual & want proof, they should read a book by KEN STROBEL--he's an ex-athiest, who set out on a scholarly journey to disprove Christianity & wound up believing...just my thoughts...worship shoes or street signs, if you like---not my concern, just trying to be helpful to any interested). Anyway, Roe, my life has never been easy, or terrible--always in-between & if we talk about holes; then sign me up on the swiss cheese list please/hahaha....I think we are here to help one another & I deal with a sister, who sounds similar to yours/ so, I agree, we can only offer so much without being taken advantage of or worse, becoming an accessory to their problems.....the strength & wisdom you need is there for you, sharing your journey with others is so kind---by that one action you have taken, I know you will be successful----I've always noticed that kindness, courage, healing, & strength, when sent out into the world , have a way of reflecting their light right back at us like a mirror; they seem to have a boomerang effect .
    4349 days ago
  • DEBANNE1124
    You, my dear friend, forgot to mention your 2 back surgeries. You ahve grown stronger. Lots stronger. We learn from these things and we go on with our lives. You are doing fantastic! I am so very proud of you for overcoming these obstacles in your life. there will be more ahead, too but you can do it. You are an inspiration to many.
    4349 days ago
    Roe, you're going to be alright. You are so much stronger now.
    4349 days ago
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