It is because of you ALL!
Monday, July 13, 2009
So i woke up this morning and poured my bowl of cereal and checked my email as usual (my everyday routine) Only this time my email was filled right up. I was like WHAT is going on i have SOOOO many comments on my spark page. The last time that happened i was Done Girl of the Day (my absolute favorite spark team has this reward daily) I have been so overcome with emotions today from all of these wonderful comments and cheers and people routing for me and telling me how wonderful i have done. But most importantly that I (me can you believe it I CAN'T!) am an inspiration to others. That gives me the most wonderful sensation in my heart. To be able to use all of the negative feelings that i have felt in the past about my "past life" my "OLD self" and use that to help others become what they want to be that is the reason that i continue to come back to this site even when it feels like i have failed or have been off the wagon so to speak for too long. That is why i have continued on with this journey and gotten to where i have so far. I never imagined back in 2007 that i would be where i am today. I just did not have enough faith in myself. I didn't have enough determination. Or maybe I did and it just took a few good people to see something within myself (without ever even meeting me) that i could not see past the "fat" and "ugliness" to see. Now my heart aches for that old me. The fact that i felt so bad about myself just because of my weight. Weight does not define a person. It does not make a person beautiful or ugly. People are not bad people because they are fat! But when you are fat you feel like the outsider. If my story and what i have done can change that feeling for even 1 person then i feel that i have accomplished so much more than i ever imagined i could! I want to thank each and every single one of you that took the time out of your day today to congradulate and comment me on my page and my photo's. You have no idea just how wonderful it has felt and how much you have lifted my spirits. I am still working on the mental aspect of this new lifestyle. It's hard to adjust from being the fat girl to being almost the skinny girl. Just yesterday i asked my grandfather if he thought i would break his bench if i sat on it. I have to keep remembering that i am no longer that 280 lbs or 250 lb girl. Heck i'm not even that 200+ lb girl anymore. I'm in my 100's!! I'm glorious about it but it takes some getting used to. Thank you for reminding me today. You have all brought a tear to my eye and made it worth while and helped me to continue to get to where i want/need to be!