SP Premium


I'm only human after all!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

According to my therapist the way I do things makes me feel "Superhuman"... and yeah, I have to admit she's kinda right. For many years I made sure I found something I could do really really well that would "add value" to my life so I would be lovable... wasted years of my life trying to be perfect! BUT I HAD to be perfect or would not do it at all... I was unable to handle defeat or rejection. Am I sounding familiar?

I also at times have done things to make me feel "Subhuman" operating in fear, defeating myself with negative talk that sounded like this: "You won't be able to do THAT perfectly...why even try?" or "You're going o face disappointment if you do THAT!!! or... "Didn't you lose 90 pounds 7 years ago and gained it all back... are you going to go through THAT again?? "Why did you eat THAT?" and "You should have done THAT!" or "If I only knew better I would have done THIS or THAT" BLAH BAH BLAH....

Today, I understand that I am a beautiful human being and I will go through this journey no matter what. Although looking back may be stressful (after all, it is possible to repeat the same mistakes or adopt the same thinking patterns) I can't lose sight of the importance of bouncing back. Starting over as many times as necessary... accepting that I am only human after all... And all I can do is make small changes in the things I can control...no panicking, no frets. WHAT A CONCEPT!!

That's why I'm doing some things differently. For example:

1) I am no longer"dieting", I am changing my eating habits;

2) Since I hate bad grades, I visited a community college near me and enrolled to a beginner's fitness class and a jogging class for the summer. Aiming for an "A" on both classes;

3) I am taking a test I've been putting off for two years to finally obtain my college degree in Real Estate. It's a graduation requirement and the only thing keeping me from graduating (pathetic!)

4) I am "forcing" myself to drink lots water... I am one of those types of people that love water but does not drink it because, listen to this (my doctor loved it): "I don't want t have to stop what I'm doing to go to the bathroom." Little did I know I was killing myself... I now have bottles filled with water everywhere as a reminder;

5) I am downsizing... I currently live in a huge 5 bedroom home. All the kiddos, except for two are gone. My house is going on the market and I'm moving to one half its size!

6) I am simplifying...getting rid of most of the unnecessary possessions I have accumulated through the years. This is exciting to me! I will not have to cram 5 bedrooms and an office in a much smaller house!

7) I am cutting costs.. no fast-foods, restaurants, ice cream, expensive outings;

8) I am spending more time with my children;

9) I am learning to enjoy every moment;

10) I am taking the time to educate myself about health. The more I learn, the easier for me to make good choices to help me regain my health.

For me this is an amazing start... a lot better than the "nothing" I did for a while...I am proud of where I am at this moment. Have I experienced fear?? Heck Yeah... Disappointments? Sure... Failures? You bet I have! Successes? Lots of small ones every day!

I am only human after all... and I like it!

Ask the pirate if you don't believe me!!!

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JIBBIE49
    Hon, gaining the weight back again happens to 95% of people, but it is because we go back to eating HIGH SUGAR and STARCH food that raises our Insulin levels. I don't want to sound like a "know it all", but I've been reading Dr. Arthur Agatston's book "The South Beach Diet" and i"ve learned so much about Insulin resistance and weight loss and gain. Dr. Agatston is a cardiologist who made his diet to help his patients and had not interest in writing a "diet" book. It just developed into that. The book is well worth reading as is his "Heart Health" book.
    The recipes are just to show that top chefs could take the foods from the diet and make delicous dishes from them. Some people love to cook and feel they have to have fancy food. Dr. Agatston just wanted to show that you could have taste and still eat healthy.
    3917 days ago
  • MAKI34
    I love your list! It shows how much you've learned in your life and how you're values have changed for the better! You'll definetly be happier! I think that a lot of us are going through those changes too! Good Luck!
    3917 days ago
    Hi Mariposita!
    I like the way you express yourself in this ( blog ) oppps! excuse my spanglish.
    i like this blog, you're very honest, and you're right, sometimes we kinda hard on ourself asking for more than we can do and like you said, we're only human. Is very good to do things right, but remember perfect! there's no such thing in human, cause we're not perfect. But yet we can do our best.!! emoticon
    3917 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/3/2009 9:10:03 AM
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.