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I need to get rid of my self destruct button.

Monday, February 23, 2009

It was all going so well. Over a stone lost, several inches lost, lots more exercise in a week than I have done in 20 years and I was feeling good. So good that my automatic self destruct sequence kicked in.

It started with a biscuit here, a snack there and soon I was back onto the takeout menus and home delivery of pizza, indian and chinese. Then bags of crisps, chocolate bars, .... I was soon back to all my old ways.

Then I had the excuses - it was a hard day, I was worried about my job given an external review of it, then hubby had a stressful time - it was so easy to find an excuse. I stopped visiting spark people as it was easier to avoid as my mind was set against a diet.

And here I am two weeks later, feeling less fit, having put on weight (I don;t even need the scales to tell me this) and I am struggling to get back on the wagon. But I still have over 100lbs to lose, still am embarrased about my facebook photo, and still embarrassed about what I look like in a swimsuit. I am determined to get back on this plan, and will do.

But I need to find and jetison that self destruct mechanism which always kicks in when I am doing well. I have to succeed. I will succeed. I will be slim. I will be fit. I will be healthy. I am DONE being the fat girl.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KIPPER_KID
    I would doubt you have managed to put back on in a fortnight all the weight you lost, so have a read of the quote below (from an SP article), realise you ARE succeeding and get on with stepping forwards again.

    ""With healthy eating and exercising, as long as you are consistently out-stepping your steps back, you are ahead of the game. If you expect perfection (and many of us do), you are setting yourself up for disappointment and guilt. "

    Yes, working out why you did it and planning how to avoid it next time is a good move, beating yourself up and going off on a guilt trip isn't!!!

    Welcome back and good luck with getting back to where you were and moving forward a bit more.......... emoticon
    4495 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/25/2009 1:51:50 PM
  • LIZBETHRYAN
    And there was me thinking you were not on sp coz of me ?
    We all do it ( fall of the wagon ) all is forgiven stop giving yourself a hard time and FLIIPING WELL COME BACK ON AND HELP ME WITH OUR TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Liz
    4495 days ago
  • SCIENCE_WRITER
    It's not easy to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Especially when you just want to sit down and nurse your bruises.

    I agree with the previous comment. That's when you need the support the most. Someone to reach down and offer to help you up. And that's what SP is all about. When you stumble, reach out. When you don't stumble, reach out. Build yourself a support network so that it's easier to stick to.

    I also agree that when you have someone else to do it with, it makes it easier, until it becomes a habit. Can you find a work buddy? Or a local friend? Or your hubby? Or all of the above? Anyone who can help you stick with your plan is a good person to have around!

    I wish you all the luck in the world. I know exactly where you are (in life, of course - I just realized how weird that sounded). I've been there. And I want to make it past that point this time, too!
    4495 days ago
  • LESS_IS_MO
    You get going girl! Do you have a friend to diet with, or weigh each other in? When I started, I slipped off the wagon a lot, but I'd joined WW with a friend of mine and she would drag me back, especially in the first 13 weeks or so. Then she quit of course, but I was making progress by then and was ok on my own. Anyway, glad you're back, and just keep brushing your teeth. (Another sparker, early in my days here, told me that someone had told her, that living a healthy lifestyle is like brushing your teeth...if you forget to do it one day, it's not like you're gonna givie it up. You know it's good for you, so you just do it again the next day. Well we have to think like that with living healthily too...If we make bad choices one day, or one minute, just try to make a better choice the next minute, or the next day. Anyway, I love that teeth brushing analogy and never forgot it. So go brush your teeth!!!)
    4496 days ago
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