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Why I came to Spark...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I didn't want to lose my original introduction of myself on this site, because it's so critital to why I started this process of being more healthy. So here it is, in all it's glory...

"I have lost 35 pounds and counting in the last year. I need to get healthy, physically and mentally again after a series of tragedies that have really thrown me. But, I am determined!!

We lost my youngest brother to a rare form of leukemia on March 28, 2005. It was devastating on many levels. We weren't "allowed" to see him. The person he married gave him ugly ultimatums as he lay sick in the hospital and cut us off almost entirely from him. We are a close knit family, so this was particularly punishing. I think of him and miss him every day. I am so grateful that she reletented and allowed a brief visit before he died. It was a lovely moment that I treasure. Then my uncle died suddenly a few months later. While still reeling from that, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant. Again after several miscarriages. We were excite but apprehensive, but felt that finally this family was having some good news! Everything was going great and then suddenly, at 28 weeks, and the day before the 1 year anniversary of my brother's death, we found out that we had lost our Brynn. Brynn Elise arrived on March 30, 2006. She was beautiful and tiny and had big hands. Her daddy, who is a respected swim coach in our area, said that he would hate to put expectations on our kids, but that she could have pulled a lot of water with those hands. My family, parents, brothers and sisters in law and nephews, and my husband are what kept me sane after that. It gives me a small measure of comfort to know that Brynn is not alone where she is. My grandparents, my husband's grandparents, and my brother are all with her. I'm sure that my brother is telling her all the horrible things about me that he can remember. That's how it works in my head anyway. Still the pesky little brother. The weekend of her memorial service, another favorite young uncle suddenly died. I have a strong faith, wonderful family and a husband that I waited 30 years for. But, it still sucks some days. And other days, not so much. Thank God for family and terrible jokes that make you laugh until your belly aches. And that's all I have to say about that."
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo RUTHTATTRIE
    I've been worrying about my own 'insignificance' lately and your post kinda put it in perspective for me, thank you - especially the part about laughing with friends and family till it hurts. That's the kind of thing that makes it all worth it.
    4516 days ago
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