Monday, January 12, 2009
I have come to the realization that, for most of my life, I have been placing my trust in everything and everyone but where it needs to be most...in the Lord. I have relied on my own understanding in almost every circumstance of life. I have been guilty of going after what I WANTED and NEEDED(or what I thought I needed), without giving much thought to what God wanted FOR ME. His ways are always best. I don't know exactly why I thought I knew better than He... pride, stubbornness, lack of patience, unwillingness to let go of my desires, afraid to let go and let Him have control. I have seen no greater example of this in my life than in the area of relationships with men. Over the past year especially, I have forged ahead with men who, clearly now, were NOT God's choice for me. We have such a limited view of our own lives. We only see what is right in front of us, He sees what is far ahead of us. I sold myself short and, as a result, got involved with men who served to only play with my mind and cause me utter confusion and heartbreak. I sought the advice, counsel, and comfort of everyone but the Lord. Friends are wonderful to have, and I feel very blessed to have such great ones in my life, but God is my best friend, and I am ashamed to say I have ignored Him for far too long. The One Who loves me most, I have shared with the least. He wants me, and all of us, to bring our hurts, anger, pains, depression, broken hearts to Him. I have trusted everyone but Him. I want to live for Him, not for myself anymore. Everything I do I want it to be for His glory. When I started on my quest to lose weight I did so because I thought it would make me more attractive in the eyes of men. I see what a wrong motivating factor that was. Now, I want to lose weight because my body is a temple entrusted to me by God that He wants me to take care of. God loves me more than any human being ever could. His plans for me are never to harm me, but to give me hope. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother and His name is Jesus Christ. In Him I place my trust.
"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you." Psalm 37:5