SP Premium
JONES0333

SparkPoints
 

Divorce is devastating! Pray for me.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I haven't blogged in a while due to being depressed and unmotivated. In less than a month my Divorce will be final and I am really struggling with this. I miss my husband so very much and do not want this to be the end. I have left him alone so that he can deal with whatever he is going through that caused this rift in our relationship but it has not helped. He is so distant. I finally broke down night before last and called him to tell him that I missed and loved him very much. I just wish it would stop hurting so bad. I had a really bad weekend because all I could think about was him. I have no control over my life right now and it is making it so hard to stay upbeat about my weight loss journey. I have been at a plateau for the last few weeks and bounced around with a couple of pounds and it is making me crazy. I am writing this so that I will get re-focused and start working toward my goal of a happier, healthier me!

I started going to a DIVORCECARES group last Wednesday and I am hoping that it will help me to overcome the feelings that I am going through. He is all I can think about and I am just feeling so much pain over seeing the 18 years that we have vested in our relationship being thrown out the window. I know that the pain will get easier to deal with but right now I am just hurting deeply. Please pray for me to stay focused and take the right paths to moving on with my life.

I love sparks and I am so thankful for the wonderful support that I receive from everyone here. Thank you and please pray for me on December 2nd, as this is when my divorce will be final. emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RAMONA62
    Hi,

    I attended the Divorce care classes thru my church many years ago. I got divorce just after my dear child was born. It hurts to the core. But having joined this group certainly helped me see to the other side and I met people who were in similar situations so that helped. It has been 7 year for me and I can honestly tell you that it does get better though right now you may not think it ever will......just take it one day at a time just like losing weight.
    Take some time to get to know who you are...the strong beautiful person that always was there just got lost somewhere in the midst of the chaos. Life didn't give me the party I had planned but it is up to me to be a part of life. Hang in there.
    4530 days ago
  • BOSTONBRUINSTEE
    DivoceCare will help with the process, which is so very hard. Only the people who have been through it or going through it really understand; it is worth that death in many aspects. Betrayal, distrust, are so apparent, they all of sudden it seems just give up and want a new life. It is so hard to feel like you were something and than before you know it you are thrown out like trash and replaced.

    BUT, one day you won't cry, then you laugh more, you will take pleasure in simple things, and you will realize you in a better place in your life. Don't let him take more from you than what he has already. Instead take this time for you and lean on the Lord, He knows what you are going through and will strengthen you.
    "Since You are my Rock and my Fortress, for the sake of Your name lead me and guide me."

    Psalm 31:3
    "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged"

    Deuteronomy 31:8

    4550 days ago
  • SHEVICE
    I haven't blogged in quite a while either, and for the same reasons.

    I don't have alot of insightful advice, because I am where you are as well.

    So, I'll write to let you know neither of us are alone. We walk one step at a time and barely realize life is still being lived. yet, it is. Life is still living around us both and time is marching on. As we both are.

    What we had we will not know again. It will always be different from now on. So we must grieve that and continue to take one step at a time.

    I admire you that you continue to have a faith, I cannot find mine. It has washed away with the tears and I am so alone and barren. I really feel the death of my marriage inside of me. I know life is here, and I know I am alive. Yet, it hurts so deep and seems to completely take my breath away.

    We must lean into the words of well meaning people. People who have been where we are and have survived and made a new life for themselves. Our children live to see us succeed and preserver, and we will not let them down. Our husbands will not steal that away as they did years of dedication and youth we so willingly gave away.

    Hang on sister. I am hanging on beside you out here in this big lonely world.
    4590 days ago
  • HEATHERSCOTTTN
    Hang in there Girl! Your feelings of devastation and depression are real and they are valid. You invested in this marriage and don't want to let go and give up. Marriage takes both parties working though so there is little to nothing you can do if he has decided it is over. We never quite know all the details about why or how the other party is moving on so we must trust in God and rest in the peace that none of this was a surprise to Him. God has a plan for your life. The DivorceCare group will be good for you. Be sure you are making it a priority to spend time with God each morning (in prayer and also reading the bible). Fill yourself up with Him and RENEW your mind each day. He will carry you through this. You've received many words of encouragement so take another deep breath and another step forward.

    Here's a quote that make a lot of sense to me...

    When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
    Alexander Graham Bell (1847 - 1922)

    There are doors opening but they are in front of you... start looking to your future sweet lady.

    Blessings!
    4607 days ago
  • SWEETSPCL
    I say you prepare for December with a fabulous outfit, new hairdo, new attitude. From today and on look in that mirror and remind yourself everyday, of how beautiful, how special, how wonderful you are and for anyone that can't see that it's their loss!!!!!!!.
    4614 days ago
  • LEIDEEBUG
    I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOIN' THRU...I WENT THRU IT 13 YEARS AGO & MINE WAS FINAL RIGHT AROUND THE TIME YOUR'S IN GONNA BE.. IT IS VERY HARD AFTER YEARS OF LOVING SOMEONE & SHARING THAT LIFE TOGETHER BUT YOU WILL GET THRU IT! YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF..I DON'T THINK YOU EVER STOP CARING OR IN SOME WAY LOVING THAT PERSON, BUT THEY ARE THE ONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM...NOT YOU! THEY'VE DECIDED TO LEAVE SOMEONE WHO LOVED THEM FOR WHATEVER REASON & NOW THEY'RE MISSING OUT ON WHAT WAS PROBABLY THE BEST THING THEY HAD IN THEIR LIVES...YOU HAVE TO LOOK @ IT AS HIS LOSS...NOT YOUR'S..THIS GIVES YOU A NEW CHANCE @ LIFE...DO SOMETHING FOR YOU! START FRESH..IT'S A NEW BEGINNING NOT AN ENDING!

    KEEP BLOGGING & STAY IN TOUCH AS WE CAN SUPPORT YOU & HELP YOU THRU IT!

    FRIENDSHIP & SUPPORT
    BUG
    4614 days ago
  • LYNN248
    I'm sorry about your divorce.

    I went through it 3 yrs ago and sometimes it still feels like yesterday. I was with my ex for 17 yrs and that was 1/2 my life, i knew NOTHING else than him.

    I took a different approach, I spent a month crying all day between clients, i didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything but I did, because i knew how easy it could be to fall into the despair of divorce.

    After a month, I woke up and thought of how many precious days i was wasting by not being who i'm really capable of being. I went to counselling , I moved on, and I don't regret one second of it. Turns out i was holding on to a marriage that was really NOT doing anything for me, looking back, i don't even know that person anymore, i wasent myself, i was something my ex molded and it still wasen't good enough for him.

    I wish you luck, my advice, take small steps to move towards taking care of YOU.
    4614 days ago
  • DINGDONG55
    I am so sorry about what you are going through right now. I have been divorced for 24 years and the divorce was very devastating to me also. I loved him so much and he just threw me to the side along with his children like trash.
    Starting a team blog for this is a very good idea and it will help you and others that are going through the same thing. You will support each other and learn from each other and life will go on and it will get better.
    Something good comes out of every situation and it may be awhile before you see it but it will happen.
    Please keep us informed how this is going for you and others that joined this team.
    God bless
    Grace emoticon
    4614 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.