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One of those days

Friday, October 24, 2008


Today has been one of those days. It is not a bad day...just one I knew was coming. You know every time I decide to focus on weight loss.....I know I am going to have to face the emotional issues that come up when you are an emotional eater like myself.

So here is what I am thinking today. I think I use food to keep my body they way it is so that when my dreams and hopes and wants don't come true.....I can blame it on the weight rather then what I do and don't do. If I were to lose weight then I wouldn't have the weight to blame for a lot of my dreams not coming true. One of my ultimate dreams for my life is to see the world. I want to travel as much as possible.....I don't just want to see the world from pictures in a book....I want to see them with my own eyes. How do you pay for dreams like that? So do I use weight to keep from having to figure things out? Another hope I have for my life is to be loved....do I use weight as an excuse for this not happening? Do I use weight to keep people away so that it is the weight that is being rejected rather then the real me? The one deep inside...real me? Is my only companion in life to be food?

You know I have observed may people....I always look and think....are they happy with their companion? Do they really love each other? Why do they put up with the things they put up with...and most of the time I have decided that people put up with others so they do not have to be alone......they do not want to be without companionship. And with arrogance I have thought...I would rather be alone then with someone that was not right for me or met my needs.....and today it hit me.....I totally use food as my companion....when I am sad I eat...when I am lonely I eat...when I am bored I eat.....when I am scared....eat...and so on..... Here is the question. Does this meet my needs? No ....is it the companion I need for my life? Is all the weight I have put on good for me? Does it bring my life happiness and contentment? NO....NO....and NO. So why do I stay with it? I guess I have treated food like this....at least I have companionship with food.....and I guess to me that was better then the empty feeling that was not being met other ways.

Soooo.....here in lies the dilemma..... how do I change these feelings and old pattern of behavior? I guess I have to walk out on food....LOL I have to divorce food. You know.....LOL....I guess I need to treat food like a "friend with benefits" there when I need it.....but no real commitment....LOL.

Hummm.....I guess I need to ponder this a little more.

How to change my relationship with food. Not just in word...but in actions.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DEEGIRL50
    I agree wholeheartedly with Mrstormsg! She said it better than I ever could.

    I agree that if you focus on making one small change at a time soon you will discover that everything will start to fall into place. Success feels so good that you will want more and more of it.

    I like to read diet books. They usually contain self-esteem building exercises. I recommend The Beck Diet Solution - Train your brain to think like a thin person.

    This site is a good place too! Everyone is facing a weight issue and they're willing to open up and share their feelings and advice. It helps to know you are not alone and others have learned to make the changes that you want to make!!

    As far as seeing the world, you can start in your own backyard. America has many hidden treasures that are worth exploring. Maybe someday you could be on the TV program Amazing Race and travel with a buddy to exotic locals. You never know what tomorrow might hold!

    emoticon Dee
    4618 days ago
  • MRSTORMSGURL
    LOL!!! I like the idea of considering food "a friend with benefits". Very funny!

    Look at it like this....Food is a necessary part of life. We all need to eat in some form or fashion in order to survive. It's easy to make food your "companion" when you don't have other things to fill the void.

    I think what you have is a "blob"...what I kindly refer to as "oh my god I have all these things (thoughts, issues, challenges) going on in my life and it's just too overwhelming...where do I start???" When it's all lumped together, it's hard to see how one small change can make a difference.

    Take one small part...and focus on it until you have a good game plan. Trust me, when I am stressed at work...there is nothing I would like more than to raid the snacks! I have made sure I have some healthy snacks with me at work EVERY day so I have an alternative.

    When you are bored...go for a walk...far away from the food
    When you are lonely...log on to spark and chat!
    When you are scared...go find a healthy snack

    It takes a little planning, and lots of dedication....but in time you will see how good you feel about the changes you are making in your life. One thing at time....one day at a time.



    We're all here for you!


    emoticon
    4619 days ago
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