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True Confession

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I have to confess, I think this is my first official "Blog" ever.
I have replied to other people's blogs, but never composed my own. For one thing, I struggle with perfectionism. I used to not even admit that because it seemed like "oh, poor thing, you are having a hard time being perfect." But for those who know what I'm talking about, perfectionism is a disease that can be paralyzing. The main problem I have with it is fear of starting things (like a blog) if I think I will not be able to do it "perfectly." I know, it sounds ridiculous. But I realize now that is has come from many childhood years of being held to unrealistic expectations for me. Then I learned to hold myself to ridiculously high, unrealistic expectations. And so, the vicious cycle repeats. I believe it is all wrapped up in aspects of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), of which I have several traits. One of the least pleasant ones for me is hoarding. Yes, I am a hoarder, too. Yikes! Mainly paper and books. Really almost everything that comes my way, but especially things I can stack! Go figure. Well, I could go on and confess at least several more paragraphs of oddities about me, but my goal is actually to be as positive about myself and life in general, as possible. I find just trying to be more positive with my thoughts is really helping me cope with many ups and downs in my life at this time.
Well, that's gonna be it for my first ever blog. Hopefully, future entries won't be such a big deal for me. Thanks for reading! :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    congrats on your first blog !!
    i hear you on the perfectionism but remember no one is perfect .. your "oddities" are what makes you you . i am looking forward to your next posting :)
    4660 days ago
    I hear you loud and clear! It's so frustrating fighting myself all the time. I have no idea how much time I've wasted writing cards, letters and journal entries alone only to toss them when finished because they're "all wrong" for some reason or another. I know that if someone else wrote the exact same thing, I'd think they were just fine so it drives me nuts. I accepted long ago that I will never be "perfect" in theory but I can't seem to stop myself from expecting it lol. My Mom always shook her head baffled when I would get so upset about the silliest things like the one square inch of the drawing I was currently working on wasn't turning out how I wanted it to. I know I'm ridiculous but I keep right on going. Never fear, your first blog was great! It gets easier the more you do it. It helps for me to just focus on the fact that my blog and journal has no purpose except to let out what I'm thinking at the time so it doesn't matter what I write...so it's type, post and leave it ALONE lol. Of course I tend to be a motormouth when I'm happy or excited (hence the length of this comment) so it's hard not to let it all spill out though I know I'll regret it later. Good luck!
    4660 days ago
    well its a good blog anyway!! to me at least as i am also a major perfectionist and also a hoarder!! i never knew the 2 went together tho thinking about it its pretty obvious! for me i just hate waste and hate to not have something i might desperatly need in the future! altho this is crazy cos i frequently buy stuff and if i ever happened to desperatly need 6 copies of the same issue "cosmo" magazine just in case i or someone i knew needed to construct a collage or something i would certainly go out and buy them as i would of forgotten where i stored it in the 1st place!!!! hhhmmmmm!!! ANYWAY!! LIKE U SAY LETS LOOK AT THE POSITIVES!! of which i have many cos im such a perfectionist i do loads of things well!!!!!!!
    4660 days ago
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