Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I have to confess, I think this is my first official "Blog" ever.
I have replied to other people's blogs, but never composed my own. For one thing, I struggle with perfectionism. I used to not even admit that because it seemed like "oh, poor thing, you are having a hard time being perfect." But for those who know what I'm talking about, perfectionism is a disease that can be paralyzing. The main problem I have with it is fear of starting things (like a blog) if I think I will not be able to do it "perfectly." I know, it sounds ridiculous. But I realize now that is has come from many childhood years of being held to unrealistic expectations for me. Then I learned to hold myself to ridiculously high, unrealistic expectations. And so, the vicious cycle repeats. I believe it is all wrapped up in aspects of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), of which I have several traits. One of the least pleasant ones for me is hoarding. Yes, I am a hoarder, too. Yikes! Mainly paper and books. Really almost everything that comes my way, but especially things I can stack! Go figure. Well, I could go on and confess at least several more paragraphs of oddities about me, but my goal is actually to be as positive about myself and life in general, as possible. I find just trying to be more positive with my thoughts is really helping me cope with many ups and downs in my life at this time.
Well, that's gonna be it for my first ever blog. Hopefully, future entries won't be such a big deal for me. Thanks for reading! :)