An Up & Down Month
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wow! June sure has been a challenge for me. Both from the weight loss stand point and from an emotional stand point. I think the month started going down hill when I got my new scale. I was all hyped up and then reliezed that to the new scale which was compared to the Dr.'s scale when my husband went the same day I actually weighed almost 24 more pounds than I thought. It's amazing how numbers on a scale can make you feel so defeated.
I soon forgot all that I have accomplished on my journey that I started at the beginning of the year. I went from being proud and excited that I had lost over 60lbs to being upset and disheartened over the fact that I still hadn't reached my goal of being out of the 300's.
Needless to say, along went my driving desire to exercise and eat right. I am happy to say I haven't went nuts, I've just let little things slide here and there. I knew that I was headed down the path of destruction like so many times before. I was becoming my own worse enemy when I started to belittle both my accomplishments and myself.
It's amazing how numbers on a scale can be so destructive isn't it? No wonder we are told to measure our success in so many more ways and not to base it all on that one thing alone. I went from being proud of what I was becoming when I looked in the mirror to loathing getting in front of one.
Add that to alot of personal issues this month and well June is kicking my ass like I said, or trying to.
So, I am here and I am getting back on track. I will be under the 300's before I can blink my eyes if I do what I know to do. I took my tracker down simply because that is a reward to myself to be able to put it up when I get in the 300's. It's not down because I am embarassed about it, but it's a goal I have set to work toward.
I refuse to let myself be a failure at this. I may struggle but I won't be a quiter!!!