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The Retaliation

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

It's no secret that I do not have warm and tender feelings for the gym. I joined in complete protest and only go when Husband insists. While I am actually at the gym, I try to keep a positive attitude. I concentrate on not scowling at the trim co-eds that have infiltrated the place and I always treat the equipment with respect. You can imagine my surprise, then, when the gym decided to fight back.

It started in a foreign place for me. I like using an elliptical trainer. It is easy to do and I sweat, that tells me it is working (right?). Husband has been working with a trainer and he decided to show me some of the fancy things he has learned. Everything he is teaching me is on complicated machine-thingys. I have no clue what the technical name is so I will stick with "thingy".

The thingy that got revenge on me was a tall monstrosity. It has a large poster next to it with at least 30 different strength building exercises on it. It works on just about every muscle in your body. The muscles that Husband decided I needed to work were in my forearms. Now I don't know about you but I question the need for some $50,000 piece of equipment to work out a forearm muscle but hey, I had agreed to give it a shot. I had to stand with my back facing the monstrosity (it is at least 3 feet taller than me). I had to reach my hands behind my head to grip a thick rope with a heavy rubber/plastic grip on each end of it. Next I lunged forward pulling the rope (attached to a cable and ultimately the weights) over my head and in front of me. Using the tension in the cable attached to the weights, I extended my arms in front of me as instructed - it was heavy. Husband asked me if I felt the "burn" in my forearms. Nope, I felt it in the flabby under arm area, above the elbow. Husband gave me a confused look so I let go of the rope with one hand to point to where I felt it.

What I didn't realize was that the rope was not secured in the middle of the cable. One side could have more rope than the other. Soooo, when I let go of the rope, it quickly slid to my other side and in the process of doing that the hard rubber/plastic grip met up with the entire left side of my face.

After the shock wore off, the pain set in and it happened. I started crying - AT THE GYM! I couldn't stop myself. It hurt like crazy, I was humiliated, and Husband just stood there holding me while LAUGHING! He claims that at some point I will see the humor in the episode - I am still waiting. It ended up taking close to a week for my eye, cheek, and teeth to stop hurting. I have not touched any gym thingys since.

I have decided to stick with the elliptical trainer for now and I am ending my gym membership next month. I would much rather take my chances with walking the neighborhood, jumping rope, and riding my bike. To this date, none of those things have ever picked a fight with me and that is the kind of relationship I need to feel comfortable enough to put on unflattering gym clothes and work up a sweat. Oh, and there aren't any of those co-eds over here, either and that is GREAT for my morale :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MATRIARCH2MANY
    I think that:

    1. You write extremely well!
    2. Those 'thingys' are always out for revenge
    3. You have a wonderful, supportive hubby
    4. Your sense of humor will get you through anything
    5. You are an inspiration!!!

    You just keep going with that walking and biking and jumping rope. I dare any of those to get revenge!!!
    4814 days ago
  • KINGMAMA
    Oh no! I hope you are feeling better emotionally and physically.
    4815 days ago
  • RAJAHKITTY
    I am guessing by the tone of your blog that you are getting close to being able to laugh at the situation! :)

    No matter what you decide to do for a work out, it has to be something you enjoy or you aren't going to do it. So if working out with "thingies" at the gym isn't fun, find a different way of doing those exercises. I mean, don't you just hate those flabby forearms? Big problem area on women, I tell ya! :)

    I hope that your face heals and that you aren't too scarred , physically or emotionally, from the experience. :)

    Good luck on your new commitment!

    Heidi
    4815 days ago
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