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Screw This - I'm Quitting (April Fools - Of Course I'm NOT!)

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Ugh. After the most horrible day EVAR (got in a fight with my family AND my fiance in one day, injured my ankle, broke my dance pad AND lost my purse) I got to thinking... this whole "being skinny" thing is a lot of work. Way too much work. I spend all day online researching what I can eat and how I can motivate myself to work out, I take valuable minutes I could be chilling on the couch and spending time with my friends and fiance working out and cooking, and I AM SICK TO DEATH OF IT. I'm constantly freaking out about calories, they haunt my dreams, I swear. I'm running away from calories and they chase me down and shove themselves in my mouth and all of a sudden my clothes just start ripping because they're too small...

No more. I'm dedicating myself to a new plan. I'm trying to gradually increase my caloric intake to about 4000 per day until I reach my old weight. I was totally happy and oblivious there, and I could eat whatever the heck I wanted. I think adding about 250 calorie per week until I'm there. Today I went a little wild, with a lunch of a medium supreme pizza, an order of mozzerella cheese sticks, and an oreo cookie shake. I just want to gain weight and fat, not be sick. I'm also instituting a no-exercise policy and looking into a mini fridge/sink setup by my couch so I can....

Errrr....

Ummm.....

Errr....

APRIL FOOLS! Sorry, just had to...

Everything below is true, I promise. My boss at work got everyone GOOD with a timed bathroom break policy, fiance and I have a no joke policy ever since I got him really good with a fake eviction notice, and I just had to (hopefully) get someone here. In all truth, I've been up a lb or so the last 2 days but it seems to happen right during/after TOM now instead of before, so another day or 2 and some good sweating should make that melt right off. I am not worried. I would have taken care of that last night but....

I GOT MY CAR! YAY! 2008 Toyota Prius with every bell and whistle besides leather seats (I hate leather seats in cars) in metallic grey. I am so excited. I wasn't super excited until I signed all the papers and took it home, but now I'm just bouncy. I has a car, wheeee! It came in handy because zee boy is not feeling good today so he went home at lunch, and I can just drive myself home and I can even get groceries, woohoo!

Since it's April 1st, I now have my funny money to go spend. In order, I think I'm going to get: new crosstrainers that I wouldn't be embarassed to wear out if we walk to the bar/restaurant/etc, new workout clothes, 5 lb dumbells, resistance band, and then a whole mess of clearnace clothings like shorts and tshirts and skirts and erm undergarments so I have some more warm weather clothings that fit. Next month's funny money (if we do it again) I'll probably pick up the newest ddr game and...who knows! The tasks at hand before Sunday are to clean and organize the office and do a pass on cleaning the house (with the fiance's help) and try on every single piece of clothing I own, seperate them into too big (box up for my mom or goodwill), just right (one section of the closet) or too small (another section of the closet, which is actually getting MUCH smaller). The clothes thing I want to do before I go shopping so I know what I have so I can know exactly what I need. Savers and Target, here I come! :) I never thought it would be such a burden not to buy clothes for a month (I would go 6 or more regularly).

Anyways, hope no one got offended by the April fools post, and just a reminder what day it is so don't believe ANYONE unless they can prove what they're saying!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SUNNIE_63
    I was about half way through, when it hit me what the date was when you wrote this. I am disappointed, because I was looking forward to the trip to Texas to kick your butt personally!!!!

    Nice joke!!! The only April Fools joke I heard!!!

    Sunnie
    4718 days ago
  • RED-LICORICE
    Wow--the car sounds great, so does the shopping and getting rid of old stuff.
    4719 days ago
  • CATCLAW
    Thanks for the great laugh! The crazy thing is I have had some of those thoughts like you listed at the beginning .... thankfully, I smack myself back to reality that it is all worth it. Looking forward to reading more of your blogs in the future. And best wishes to you on the next Biggest Loser challenge. Congrats on your weight loss this past challenge.
    4719 days ago
  • KKBUG2014
    That was a good one!
    4719 days ago
  • PUREBREDMUTT
    haha.... ya got me
    4719 days ago
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