MYBESTLIFEISNOW
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My name is Patricia.

I am blessed. I didn’t always feel that way.

I wish that I didn't appear ungrateful so much of the time because I am grateful. I cherish my life and I'm actively working on saying THANKS more often in thoughts and in deeds and by taking care of this wonderful body I was given, even if it is a little broken.

I am the sum of all my experiences. Abused child, graduated at 15, smart, smart-@ss, stubborn, sorority girl, over-indulged, driven, giving, selfish, workaholic, prima-donna, successful, bored, lonely (even with people all around me), angry, sensitive, unsatisfied (no matter what I accomplished or achieved), never enough, exhausted. No wonder the weight of it all wore me down.

Stuck in the past, or even the future – today was never enough.

And then it all changed … at 48 I found my way - at least the path I wanted to be on.

Diagnosed with cancer – facing an uncertain death – odds of 50/50. Oddly, the most meaningful period and many of the best moments of my life. Although I don't want to go there again, I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

Reunited with my faith. Not in the traditional way. We didn't meet in confession, or at church. We met me in my bed. He was there with me all of those nights when I couldn't sleep because the pain was so intense and I could barely sit up, much less sleep. He made me laugh. He spoke to me from where I was. I could actually hear him.

Friends may say I was hallucinating. Could be. Maybe. Nah. I don't think so. He talked me through the fear and illusions of death. He held me close.

I'm no longer afraid of death. I'm actively working on staying in the present, which is a a lot of work for me, but isn't that where life is lived?

I've relocated to Florida. I'm sort of retired (but will pick up a contract every now and then). The present is awesome. So, thank you God, thank you Universe, thank you to everyone and everything that taught me that lesson - because that simple lesson has made all the difference.

For sure, I want to live but I'm certain that I will be ok no matter what happens - God has our back.

If I live or die - it's all the same. One adventure vs another. Somewhere there is a plan and while I may see glimpses of the plan, I'm pretty clueless about the details. .

I did learn that God was always with me no matter where I was. I learned that He was not the judge I was led to believe He was. I learned that healing, really healing, takes place in an instant. My past was healed. The past is merely a part of my story. It's not about bad people and what they did to me. It's about what I learned in the process. A whole lot of good can come out of a bad situation. Skills can be learned, empathy and compassion to name a few.

The future is just a dream and quite honestly, my future has always been way better than I have dreamed. It's not that I don't believe in goals, but I don't ‘over goal’ my life anymore. I'm sure that lots of you will know what I mean. I just want to have a good time living this beautiful life.

The present is where we connect to the world and all the wonderful people in it. The present is the only place to be. If I choose to leave it for a moment or two, that's fine … remembering is good - just no long term vacationing in the past or future.

So here I am today. Obviously, I survived. I have a grateful heart. So many friends that I’ve met along the way have not made it. My heart aches for them because I know how hard it can be. I know the pain and suffering. I know the fear of loss. I hope you know that God was also with your loved one when they struggled. Just an FYI, when I got better, I no longer felt the presence of God all around me. I now pray and struggle just like before, with moments of grace. I consider that time I had special. GRACE. I cherish the memory.

So what the heck does this have to do with weight loss? Nothing. Because I’m obviously more than just a number on a scale.

I am here to continue learning how to be a better me. I continue to experiment with nutrition and exercise.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with another form of Lymphoma.

I'm a two-time cancer survivor and also a person who lives with cancer on a daily basis. So far, it's manageable and it's my intent to keep it that way! I'm trying to keep my immune system strong. I strive to stay as healthy as I can. Sometimes it's a challenge...chemo was extremely hard on my body and I feel a bit like I'm still putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. I am grateful - chemo saved my life...but I'm also thankful that research is continuing to make treatments easier.

I'm very much into integrative medicine but I am not into slamming western medicine. Western medicine saved my life … twice. I would be ungrateful if I spat on the people who have spent their lives trying to come up with ways to cure people like me.

It's funny but cancer hasn't been quite the curse that I thought it would be - I have purpose. I have hope. I have a much clearer sense of who I am and what I stand for. I am alive, I am more aware - I can't say I was before cancer.

I hope to never have to go through treatment again but if I do, my action plan consists of good nutrition and an in general good attitude about life.


I used to live in the world of SOMEDAY - someday, when I'm thin; someday, when I'm retired; someday, when I have the money...you get my point.

SOMEDAY has finally arrived. Today is where it all begins and where it all ends.

I’m ready to live my best life - in this moment - NOW.


Member Since: 4/27/2016

My Goals:
1). Meditate - calm down and enjoy the ride

2). Eat mostly homemade, unprocessed food - organic when possible.

3). Get some exercise every day.

4). STRETCH every day.

5). Practice mindfulness.

6). Have a grateful heart.

7). Give back.


My Program:


Keep exploring new ways to feel my best.

Keep moving...walking, biking, snorkeling, yoga, Tai Chi.



Personal Information:
9/2017 - Moved to move to Florida - closer to my beloved St John, VI ....let the snorkeling begin!



Other Information:




Read More About MYBESTLIFEISNOW - Profile Information moved here. (Updated January 31)




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Comments
  • v POSITIVEHOPE
    Thanks for the friend add and stopping by my page. I've add you as a friend, too. Hope you will stop by the SP Beck team. That is where I have learned the most helpful things that are making my journey a success.
    1334 days ago
  • v KEEPITUP4LIFE
    Thank you for adding me as a friend. I have added you as well.

    Carolyn (Buttonpopper) is the best friend you could have here at Spark People. She is the most caring, kind and loving woman who makes you feel great about yourself. I just wish she could always feel as good about her own self because she is the absolute best friend I have ever had on line.
    I pray that I can meet her in person one day. WE live on opposite side of the word but I vow that we will meet one day. I love to travel and she has family in the USA. I am in southern Ontario Canada. Not that far when she is visiting home from Japan.
    I wish you all the best with your healthy goals and I will pray that you never have to hear the big C word from your doctor ever again.

    Hugs Susan emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • v RENEGADE-57
    emoticon to the Total Gym Team!

    If you have any questions or need help..just click on me!
    1524 days ago
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