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This is my GOAL ( - Autumn 2011 - how LONG has this been a goal?!

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Montreal 2006 .... Montreal 2009 The difference determination makes! said the turtle, Onward!

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Not everything that can be counted counts; not everything that counts can be counted.

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July 30, 2010: I have been struggling. My response to stress seems to be to eat... badly. But I am determined to break that cycle. There is NO reason to eat when angry or sad or stressed. As I heard someone somewhere once say: "Eating to get back at someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

I've re-committed to no sugar, no white flour, no junk, no eating after 7.30 at night or three hours before I go to bed. I suppose I should rephrase that, as negatives work in negative ways. I am committing to a life free of sugar, white flour and junk. The latest I can eat at night is three hours before I go to bed. That's a better and more positive way to think about it.

I KNOW, I'VE PROVEN how very good I feel when free from sugar and white flour. Clear headed, grogginess gone, energy that is so worth it. And when I stop eating three hours before bed, I sleep so well, wake refreshed and - tada - yes, full of energy.
So - on the 30th of July 2006, I finally was able to make that first hard committment to doing something about the state I had created for my body and heavy mind. It took me 2½ years to lose 70 pounds. I did it slowly and wisely, feeling good, so good. I only had 30 pounds left to go, when my brat of an inner 14-year-old took over and insisted I could eat everything everyone was eating. And I gained 30 of those 70 pounds back.

It's OK. The naughty, rebellious 14-yr-old had her say for long enough. Stephanie is back, the brat been expelled and I'm off and running - and feeling good about it! I am in control of who and what I want to be in this life and this body.

Updates to follow...To be continued...
Here's Part II:
January 2010: I could not leave this glowing summary of my weight loss journey unchanged any longer..... I started sliding down that dreaded slippery slope a year ago. And over the last 12 months, I have slowly packed on 15 kilo. I know HOW I did it, but I don't know WHY. I'm working on that. Getting to the bottom of what in the world it was that took me off the mentally strong journey I was on. A journey that started in July 2006 with miserable physical health, through November 2008. I had lost 32 kilo, slowly and wisely and steadily. And then that rotten little rebellious 14-year-old came out in me and decided "I can too be just 'like everyone else' and I can too eat sugar. And you can't stop me!" I "only" had 15 kilo left to lose then. Instead I put on 15 kilo. This Christmas vacation has had me realizing that my body is at a tipping point again with occasional creaky, achy knees, waking up in the morning exhausted, headaches...

Why did I do this to myself? Why couldn't I stop over the last 12 months?! Those answers will come. I think I have a good idea, but it's a private one. Some things we need to work out for ourselves and not share with the world!

I've gone back to no sugar or white flour, no refined foods in my diet again. As my body got rid of the toxins I had to endure headaches from withdrawal, but they have passed and my better health is returning.

I have 30 kilos to lose. That is a bummer but I did it to myself. I'll undo it to myself again. ONWARD!

The rest of my story is below. When I was succeeding. I've left it as a reminder to myself that this isn't something I can "go off" because it's not a diet. You go off diets - and you gain the weight again. Duh. This is a permanent life change for the better.
(Where I was a year ago in January 2009)
Now in year three of a healthy turtle race: recommitting to that ideal weight!
"Only Fat People Skip Breakfast" is the name of a book by English woman Lee Janogly - a book that really speaks to me: Funny, honest, in-your-face facts about food addiction and bingeing. Nothing could be more true. To that I will add that all breakfasts are not equal. Refined carbs will not last you through to even lunch; sugar should be outlawed. One of the huge differences in my life is a consistent breakfast of whole oats, cinnamon (a natural anti-inflammatory), apples or blueberries and skim milk. Sets me up for a very good day. Try it - you'll like it and so will your body and soul!
Recommitting 24 August 2009
Last July 27, 2008, I hit 85.6. I was just 15 kg from my goal of 70 kg. And then I stalled. Stalled, stalled, stalled, gained a kilo, lost a kilo, gained 2 kilo, lost a kilo, gained 2 kilo… on it went for a year.I've come to realize (a year later and 10 kg gained back) that subconsciously I must have been afraid to let go of the protective wall of fat I've surrounded myself with. I need to get to the WHY of that or I will probably continue to sabotage myself. It's not the fat that is protecting me (from whatever, though I do think I know what that "whatever" is). I don't need a wall of fat. I am a strong woman. I just need to believe that.
I've begun to move forward again. I lost my whole two years of being sugar-free out of politeness. Went from Day 715 to Day One again just out of politeness. Well, politeness to myself and my health - mental and physical - is more important that a silly politeness to a relative handing me a poisonous bit of food with sugar in it. I'm back to being sugar-free for 31 days. And I am NOT going back to Day One again! Politeness be damned. No sugar tastes as good as HEALTHY does. So, I’ve adjusted my goal dates for weight loss. They are below in 10% increments.
And here is my story Part I:
On July 30, 2006, I realized I didn't want to continue slowly and miserably killing myself. I changed my life. Now, July 30, 2008, I've lost 70 pounds and continue on to "do away with" the last 40. it's been a journey from a size 26 to a 16. My goal? Oh, a size 10/12. But more than that: to maintain this healthy, happy life I've found again.
What did I do? I didn't go on a diet! I just gave up all refined foods: no junk food, no sugar except from fruit, no refined flour, and no eating three hours before bed.
No, it wasn't easy. Yes, it was a struggle. But in no time, I began to feel alive again both mentally and physically. Once I started to live and love myself again, it got easier and easier to keep it going. It has been - and is - worth it and there is no turning back on this one. I do not EVER want to feel or look like that again.
What else have I learned? That I'm human just like everyone else (well, dang!) and I will fall off the healthy wagon just like everyone else. BUT the trick is to forgive myself, admit I'm human, dust myself off and get back on IMMEDIATELY. Not tomorrow. Not Monday. Not on the first of the next month. IMMEDIATELY. No rolling around in the dirt and whining!
It's a turtle race. Yes, it is. I lost 47 pounds in the first year. Another 25 in the second. I now have about 40 to go. I'll get there. Doing it slowly and wisely is the only way to embed these eating patterns. It's like a long learning process for how to maintain weight loss, as well. Patience is a virtue. Not one I've ever had, but on this road back to health and my old self, it's necessary and a very, very good thing to learn.
Starting weight (257 – 116.9 kg) July 2006
10% of 257 = 26 pound loss - achieved 231 Nov 06 105 kg
10% of 231 = 23 pound loss - achieved 208 Aug 07 94.5 kg
10% of 208 = 21 pound loss - achieved 188-July 08 85.6
Re-commitment September 2009 – starting weight 213 - 97 kg
10% of 213 = 21 pound loss – goal to achieve 192 (87) kg Feb ‘10
10% of 192 = 19 pound loss – goal to achieve 173 (78.6) kg Aug ‘10
10% of 173 = 17 pound loss – goal to achieve 156 (70.9 kg) Jan ‘11
I'm 5'8" - 156 pounds would have been WAY overweight for me in college and up to age 39 when I had my son, but I think it will be a good weight now. We'll see when I get there if I want to lose more.
One day at a time, one meal at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes one minute at a time - in this turtle race.

Member Since: 7/16/2007

Fitness Minutes: 640

My Goals:
Walk to work at least 3 out of 5 days - no metro, no busses. Walk - rain, snow or shine. I very nearly always walk home from work, because it gives me a chance to clear my head of it all and to re-think things outside of the box. By the time I get home, I'm ready and clear-headed again.

My Program:
I'm not on a diet.

Only Fat People Skip Breakfast, by Lee Janogly. I hugely recommend this book. Funny and straight-forward and good. It's become my new bible.

I only eat fresh, healthy, raw ingredients. No junk food, no refined sugars or flours. It was tough to begin with, but getting to be a way of life now.

1. I make homemade applie cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast every morning with skim milk (cooked for about 5 minutes or raw - either way is delicious). It satisfies me until lunchtime at 12:30. Cinnamon acts as a sort of natural sweetner and is also an anti-inflammatory. So it's a double plus.

2. I stop eating 3 hours before bed. That is usually 7:30. This was the toughest thing to do in the beginning. I knew I ate at night, but not THAT much! (Thanks, Oprah, for this one.)

3. I had to admit to myself that sugar(and white flour (which converts to sugar in the body) are poison for me. It is like alcohol to an alcoholic.

Personal Information:
I'm 58 - a transplanted American living in Denmark - originally I only planned on two years here. 22 years later and a son... well, it would appear I'm here for good. Which is also fine. I love Denmark. I travel a great deal with my work, so I am in the States several times a year. What I miss because of living here is my family in the States. And I miss them HUGELY. But thank god for email and for airplanes!

Other Information:
H.A.L.T. -
Fix these situations before you make any decisions! A good philosophy for any over-eater(apparently it's an AA idea originally).
"Love Yourself More Than The Food"
"Nothing Tastes Better than Slim Does"
"Diets don't work. Permanently changing how you eat and how you think about food does!"
Learning to TRUST food again.

Read More About MORRISDATTER - Profile Information moved here. (Updated January 31)

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