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Introduction Text It is now April 2020. It has been a year April 5 that my life fell apart. I put on over 30 pounds again in 2019 and I have 11 more pounds to go before I reach my goal again. I joined Star Hill an athletic center that is huge. It has a track, soccer field, basketball court and can change turf to accomadate football and other sports inside a big dome. Inside the building they have an Olympic size pool as meets are held there. They have a room where all the fitness machines are, Hoist and Matrix. There a classrooms for Silver Sneakers, spinning, weight room, resistance band exercise, etc. I have gone about 5 times, but with COVID19 they are closed now. I have to look for other places to walk Yesterday I took a hike at Henry Park. My niece got married in July up on the mountain in front of the big tower. This is where they fire off the annual fireworks, being a mountain. I parked at the beginning of the park and walked up to the tower. It was all up hill. I sat once I reached it on a bench and looked at the view. Beautiful. I took in the scenery from all views, and it was so scenic. I will visit that place again. CT does have a lot of walking trails and I will take advantage of them until the track opens again. I got over 4.000 steps and it was the equivalent of 11 floors. ************************************************************************** It is July, half of 2019 is over. Thank God. It has been a tough year so far. I have put on 32 pounds since April. We have now started the 5% Summer Challenge. I didn't do so great in the Spring challenge, I was to stressed and depressed. I have had 3 months to have a pity party and now it is time for me to leave the party. I know it is going to be a challenge to lose the weight, because frankly my dears, I don't give a darn. It is time to shed that way of thinking and loving myself again. I didn't cause this situation, like my counselor said, I am a victim. I took some time off to get my head on straight. I did spin the wheel almost everyday, but not much else. I started tracking my food again a week or so ago. I really try and stick to it, and if I do go off, I track it. I am drinking about 10-12 cups of water a day, it's summer. I have taken small steps and now I am ready to come back. I will track my exercise over the weekend andLTGL for the challenge. I will gradually build up to doing all of SP again. Thank you to all the dear spark friends who supported me and sent prayers during this difficult time. I wouldn't have come back as fast as I did if it weren't for you. ************************************************************************** It is almost time for the 2019 5% Winter Challenge. I am putting myself out there. I am the ML for the Spring. I hope I can step into Patricia's shoes and do a good job. I am both excited and nervous. It is a big responsibility. I have to do something to get my groove back. I have been putting on weight and frankly don't give a dam. I actually have 5% to lose. The weather will be turning nicer and I can get out more for walks and outdoor activity. ************************************************************************** It is now 2019. I reached some goals that I had for 2018 and let others slide. My goal for this year is to lose the 5-7 pounds of holiday weight, and to become more tone. I swim for cardio and exercising, but my arms look like jello. I looked in the mirror on my birthday and OMG my face slid. I don't look my age but I don't look like I am in my mid 50's anymore, either. I see my Mother and Grandmother. While my Mom is going to be 93 and looks like she is in her late 70's, early 80's My grandmother was considered a "looker", even at 78. This year I am going to concentrate more on strength training, and living my life instead of just existing. Happy 2018 I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I do have a goal for 2018 however. I am going to practice the Serenity Prayer. For my emotional and physical well being. The last few months have been very stressful and it has taken a toll on my physically and emotionally. I can't allow this to continue. The only person that I can change is me. I have to change the way I deal with and react to certain situations. Certain people in my life may not be doing what I feel they should be doing or would like them to do, but it is not my life and as it was pointed out to me they are grown not a child anymore. On January 6th I am starting another 5% challenge. I have joined the Y.M.C.A. and will be swimming at least 2 times a week. I am currently doing The Find 10 challenge on SP and The Jenny Craig Challenge on SP. I do two challenges at a time. I am also doing a solo challenge on fitbit. I will do strength training 3 times a week. I will be calling my Dr. for physical therapy as I was diagnosed with osteoporosis in the hips. I don't have a full 5% to lose. I lost the 5% last challenge, and I only want to lose a couple more pounds. I am not sure of my weight as my scale doesn't have a battery right now. I will have one hopefully by the beginning of the challenge. 5% challenge This is actually only the second challenge I have had to lose 5% of my body weight. I have been in maintenance and maintaining until the fall. I still have about 16 pounds to take off if I were to go as low as I weighed before. People are telling me that I was way to thin and didn't look healthy and actually think I shouldn't lose any weight. My BMI is over 25 so yes I do need to lose some weight again. How much I will decide when I get there. I do know that losing 5% will not do it, there will be a few more pounds to lose. February 28, 2017 I have yo yo'd this year so far. Down a few pounds, back up some. It is that stupid peanut butter ice cream that I have become addicted to. I just learned not to keep it in the house at all. February was a month or birthdays. I did eat cake and ice cream at the impromptu birthday party my niece made my Mom. I forgot the name of the cake, but it was basically a whipped cream cake and very rich. Of course i had a small piece of the other cake too. I don't even remember what it was, nothing can compare to that whipped cream cake. No, I will not become addicted to it because I won't ever buy it, don't know the name of it. My niece, Kim, could eat a bowl of whipped cream, it goes on almost everything dessert for her. Then I took my Mom out for pizza for her birthday. Those are the only two treats that I can think of. Basically I weigh the same as I did at the beginning of the month, with losses and gains in between. It is a wash. I don't want washes, I want losses. I am going to make some goals for March. There is nothing important happening in March so......... 1. I will continue to declutter the spare bedroom and pack. 2. I will start to list things for sale in the tag sale section of FB or do a flea market or tag sale. 3. I will lose 4 pounds in March. 4. I will walk for at least 20 minutes 3x a week weather permitting. January 1, 2017 I don't make New Year Resolutions. I make goals. My long term goal this year is the same as last year. Maintain my weight, exercise and continue to have good numbers with the lab reports. Basically to be healthy. I want to get the spare bedroom finally cleared out so that I can move. That has been an ongoing project it seems like forever. September 10, 2016 I weighed myself this morning and I am at 131.2 It was been 7 months since I had the knee replacement. I don't believe the knee is completely straight and I still have quite a bit of pain. At this time I would say I am sorry I had it done. I have not done the exercises like I should have. I know it is my own doing. I have been in a funk and I just can't seem to get out of it. I have good days, but they are few and far between. This summer has been hot and humid. With no car I don't think I have been out more than 8 times this whole summer. My steps are lacking and I don't move like I should. I am totally disgusted with myself and that just leads to more depression. It is a vicious cycle. This fall I hope for cooler weather where I can get out and at least walk more. ************************************************************************** On May 8th it will be 3 months since my complete right knee replacement. I had to wait so long for an appointment for PT in the pool, I just started last week, that I am still having pain in the knee. It has really started hurting again since I started the PT. The therapist said scar tissue was allowed to form even though I kept up with the exercises that were given to my by the therapist who had come to my home. I did them only once a day, I should have been doing them 2-3 times a day. I wasn't told that. I wasn't told to keep my foot elevated either, especially since I have recliners not a couch. Your knee is always a little bent when you recline. Now we have to work aggressively to straighten the knee and it hurts like the devil. I am worried because I have only 4 more sessions left. I applied for a scholarship, but with no money in the till and four people in front of me...well you figure it out. I may cut back on my cable or squeeze it from somewhere else, I need the water. I am worth it. Medicare will not pay for Silver Sneakers for me because the State pays for my medicare. Our lovely governor is raising taxes on hospitals, which is causing hospitals to cut back on staff, which makes for longer waiting time for services. This is what happens. You don't get the services you need in time and the patient suffers the consequences. 2016 I don't make New Year resolutions anymore. I stopped years ago. I have lost some of the weight that I regained during the summer. I still have about 10 pounds that I would like to lose. I am not going to focus so much on weight in the coming months, but more on my physical health. I admit that I haven't been exercising like I should. Sure I walk, but I don't do any strength training and no cardio except walking. I really don't walk fast enough to make it cardio. On December 31 I will turn 61. I did not get back down to 125 pounds like I wanted to, but I did track my food everyday, eat at least 5 servings of freggies a day and drink at least 64 ounces of water a day. I made all the Dr. appointments for my health and most are for the month of January. I start physical therapy for my knees on December 29. It will feel so good to get back into the water. I am so looking forward to that. I really believe it will help me kick start an exercise program too. I also believe it will help me post surgery with the rehabilitation. I have a surgical consult with Dr. Carangelo on January 7 and an eye appointment on January 19. Those goals have been met. For 2016 my long term goal is to get back down to 125ish and maintain that weight. I know there will be challenges with the surgery and I will work my way through them. I would like to be at least 90% back within 8 weeks after surgery. Ever since the last weekend of May I have been focused on getting out of the flea market and taking an inventory of what I hadn't sold. Not only that I decided to get rid of all of my baseball collection and collectibles. I have been doing spreadsheet after spreadsheet of years of baseball cards. If I knew how to make the spreadsheets public, I would so I could sell them faster. During these months, I have taken the focus off of me. I have gained close to 10 pounds, but that is not the worst of it. I have lost complete focus of my journey. I have not blogged, tracked my food. or posted on any of my teams. I am a leader of one team, and I haven't posted or welcomed any new members in over 2 months. I haven't exercised at all. I have sat in the chair at my computer and entered data for hours upon hours and counted baseball cards. I have ruined my eyes to where I need a magnifying glass to read the numbers and names on the cards now. That still isn't the worst of it. I have gone back to eating crap because I can't take the time to even put anything in the microwave. I have popcorn, oreos, yes oreo cookies for dinner. M&M's on the desk because they are easy to just pop in your mouth. About the only healthy habit I have kept is drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day. I have bought IBC Black Cherry soda on occasion though. That did come to a stop. It really didn't sink in on how bad it has gotten until I went to the store the other day and spent $42.97 on groceries and bought nothing but ice cream and candy. Things have to change. I am going to put the focus back on me and my journey. I will make sure my menu gets done once a week and follow it Once I see the neurologist, I will get an exercise program I can do, and do it. I know the inventory has to get done and sold, especially if I do have to end up moving, but not at the expense of all the hard work I did to lose all the weight I did and to become healthier. After all, your health is the most important asset you have, if you don't have that, you really don't have anything. -------------------------------------------------------------- I took sometime off from sparkpeople and I put on about 4+ pounds. About the only healthy habit that I kept up with is drinking my 64 ounces of water. I have found M&M's again, gone through quite a few bags. I even started taking my morning medication with them. Easter candy is the hardest for me because I love Russell Stover Marshmallow Chocolate Eggs. I have eaten dozens and dozens. I can't wait until Easter is over. I am not too upset about gaining a little bit of weight because I have actually received compliments saying I don't look so gaunt. Go figure. I am concerned about they way I have been eating and not caring. I am in a funk, I guess you call it depression. I don't know if it is because of the winter we had, the life situations that have been thrown my way recently, or what. I do know I have to stop eating popcorn for dinner and ice cream for lunch. It is not healthy. A new kick is Grahm crackers with butter. April was when I was going to get back on track. Now with Easter being Sunday, it will be Monday. My Mom had surgery on 4/1 so I don't know if she will be up to doing Easter dinner but I know I am spending Saturday night at her house. Will she cook or will I end up taking her out to eat? All I know for sure is I have to get back on track. I didn't work my butt off literally, for almost 2 years to go back to eating unhealthy. I am half the woman I was and I am proud of it. I did it once and I will do it again. I don't need to lose any weight, praise the lord, but I need to start eating healthy and exercising again. OMG, did I say that. ------------------------------------------------------ It is now 8/27 and we are almost into the season where food will take center stage again. I better wake up and smell the roses and fast. I have the eating pretty much under control. I just don't buy the crap. That is not easy. This week for instance, all the ice creams I have learned(yes, learned,) to love again are on sale with gas points. I think it is pretty safe to say it is a good thing I have no food stamps left and I am low on cash. Otherwise----I don't know. How's that for honesty. It's not 1 package of 3 that you are buying, it is 6 packages of 3 or how ever many are in a package. That is where the get you. That is a never mind, it is not happening. Now onto exercise. What exercise? I use to get at least a 2000 minutes fitness award every month until recently. I just passed the 200 minutes fitness level the other day. I wear a fitbit and those are the minutes I count. I haven't strength trained since June or been to the pool. I have fallen back into the bad habit of no exercise. On the computer, reading, doing a jigsaw puzzle or watching the boob tube. I average about 9000 steps a WEEK not a day. I get myself all psyched up for going to the pool the next day, and when it is time to go, find all kinds of things to do to keep me home. Laundry that has to get done and hung out to dry instead of using the dryer and wasting $$$$$, I forgot to shave my legs, my hair doesn't look right, or I think who the heck cares anyway, I am ugly I may as well be lumpy and dumpy. I have stomach trouble and what if I go and have to go to the bathroom and don't make it. It would be embarrassing. Oh the tricks my mind can play. I got a few suggestions from my spark friends. I am done with August. GTH August, welcome September. I have a few tricks that I am going to play now. I got my eating under control, I can get my exercise back under control. I didn't lose all this weight to not stay fit and healthy. I am BACK I admit it I am cheap. If it comes down to $$$and Cents, I am sick of paying for the pool monthly, even if it is subsidized and not getting my moneys worth. That will get this cheap a$$ out the door. Right around Easter I lost my spark. I ate what I wanted for Easter dinner. That started a less than diligent eating. I was in a major depression and couldn't find my way out of it. I did try, but was knocked back down each time. For Easter dessert we had Marie Callender Chocolate creme pie. Ahhh. When I went to the store, I'll be dipped, they make them in one serving sizes. Not only that heck they were on sale plus on top of that if you bought eight of the desserts you got an extra 4oo gas points. Hey man that is 40 cents of every gallon of gas. Who can resist that. I wasn't thinking that those 8 desserts would be sitting in my freezer. So what did I do, I bought 16. That is 800 gas points. WooHoo. Next, 8 different varieties of ice cream novelties, another 400 gas point, chaching. Hey, I did buy 12 dinners amd 4 Green Giant vegetables. That is 2000 gas points or $2.00 off every gallon of gas. Who wouldn't like to pay $1.82 for a gallon of gas? Not anymore. I can't have ice cream in the house. I can't have those desserts in the house, though they aren't as dangerous as ice cream. I ate a package of 3 Magnum bars in one night. Yes, my stomach hurt afterwards, but boy was it good. Oh that chocolate and caramel......I came to my senses. I am paying for the gas because I don't need the ice cream. It's over Magnum, it was great while it lasted. We can still see each other once in awhile but not too often. Grapes found out about us and told me I had to choose and well, they are better for me and I can have more than one. Sorry. ---------------------------------------------------------------- I have a year of maintenance behind me. That was harder than losing the 120+ pounds. Honestly, I am prouder of keeping the weight off this past year than I am of losing it. People think Oh you lost the weight now you can partake. You can go for pizza, you can have this that nd the other thing. NO I can't. Not if I don't wantto end up right back where I started. Yes, I went out for the occasional vey occasional pizza. It was planned for ahead of time and accounted for. Don'tcall me at 4pm and say let's go for a pizza because the answer will be no 99.89% of the time. No one is perfect. There were lots of trials and errors with my eating and exercising. Oops lost too much, add calories, oh no gained too much take away calories. Up down, up down. This went on for a couple months. I finally figured out a balance, sort of. I eat between 1250-1375 calories. If I work out at the pool extra hard or I can have a few calories one day, I eat at the top of my range, all ranges. I also found that if I have around 70 grams of protein a day I am more satisfied. I stopped with the 50% carbs, 30%fat and 20 protein. That drove me nuts. As long as I am under 60% carbs, Ideally under 55% I am happy. Now the Dr. tells me I am lactose intolerant. Well I am intolerant of that. I love milk, skim of course, and Greek yogurt. I would not get enough protein if it wasn't for those two things. I also love babybel cheese. Have it everday. I will go with a belly ache before giving up by yogurt and cheese. I cried when he told me that. He was shocked I think. He said it wasn't the end of the world and I told him, maybe not for him it wasn't. Just like peanut butter and peanuts, I wouldn't get the good fat without them. There has to be something I can do. ************************************* I am finding maintenance more challenging than losing the weight. It seems every week my weight is different. One week I gain 1/2 pound so I adjust my eating. I end up losing 2 pounds so I increase my calories. I end up gaining weight 2 or 3 weeks down the road. It is forever adjusting. I also found it very difficult to deal with the reactions from different people. My Mom on one hand is very proud of the weight I have lost. When I went shopping and finally fit into the size 8 Jorache skinny jeans that I have been wanting to wear for years, she couldn't tell enough people. My daughter lost............. The next time I saw her, I get the remark that so and so asked if I had cancer because I looked sick. It kind of floored me. Then you get the people who didn't think you could do it and are actually angry that you did. Now of course, they are saying that you will put it all back on. I heard there was even a $100.00 bet that I will have put on at least 20 pounds by Christmas between my darling sister and her husband. Her husband thinks I will keep it off. My sister thinks I will put it back on, of course she rides a broom and Halloween is her favorite holiday. We don't like each other. Every single time I leave the house and I see my landlord he tells me to stop losing weight. He says the wind will pick me up and blow me away. I asked him if he was afraid the rent wouldn't get paid then and he actually said yes. I am 61.25" tall and as of today, June 29 I weigh 126.5 pounds. According to the BMI scale I am at the high end of a healthy weight. I am going to stay right here until I see my Dr. in August for my yearly physical. I have seen my pulmonologist and he said my weight is just fine. For all the newbies that are just starting and feel overwhelmed, hang in there. I felt the same way. Reach out to the spark community for support. You will receive tons of it if you reach out. I am on spark quite a bit of the day, message me, I don't mind. Set small goals, with your larger goal in mind. This will stop you from feeling so overwhelmed. Change only a few things at a time, when they become a habit, add a couple more. You didn't put the weight on over night, don't expect to take it off overnight. Patience is a virtue and a must. Life my title says If I did it, you can too. I am basically a lazy person, sure I exercise, but sit the rest of the day in front of the computer. I don't move as much as I should. I was a terrible eater, hated fruit and vegetables. I am still not the best eater, I eat frozen dinners, Lean Cuisine etc, but a far cry from what I was. i like fruits and some vegetables, and tolerate others. I even eat spinach and asparagus. When my Mom saw me eat asparagus, she almost passed out.

Lose 8 pounds during the 5% challenge. met goal Continue to set small goals and achieve them. Get out more and do things.

At least 2,500 steps a day 5x a week. 2,000 steps once a week. Weights, kettlebell, or resistance bands 3x a week Cardio glide, walking, or stepper for cardio 3x a week Go to the pool for strength training exercises 2x a week. Use the fitness machines 2x a week.

Live in CT I am 61.25 inches tall. I have maintained since 2012, but recently I regained a few pounds from the holidays.

I love to read mysteries. J.D. Robb is my favorite author and I have read all her In Death series. I have also read a lot of James Patterson series. I like to do jigsaw puzzles and have one going most of the time. I like to watch Discovery Investigation true crime shows like Homicide Hunter. I also like The First 48 I don't watch a lot of television, usually about 3 nights a week. My favorite place to exercise is in the indoor heated pool at the YMCA.

Add a Link I love SparkPeople Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am responsible for my own happiness. My name is Bonnie I live in CT DST I went from 258 to 126 pounds and have maintained it since 12/28/12. Too Blessed to be Stressed.
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