H - Happy thoughts can multiply like rabbits. A -All work and no play can make you a basket case. P - Putting all of your eggs in one basket is never a good idea. P - Paws and reflect on how green your grass actually is. Y - You have to break out of your shell to find out who you really are.
E - Every one needs a friend who’s all ears. A - A cute little Easter bonnet can tame the wildest hare. S - Some body parts should be floppy. T - The grass is always greener in someone else’s basket! E - Everybunny is entitled to a bad hare day once in awhile. R - Remember to keep your paws off of other people’s baskets.
I hope your Easter is eggs-tra special just like you!
Happy Friday everyone! Time to get our funny on and get ready for the weekend ahead. Here's a few miscellaneous quips, tips, and outright dips that I hope will tickle your funny bone. . .
When I was a kid, I wanted to be older . . . To be honest, this is not what I expected. It's weird being the same age as old people.
Tip: Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. . . So don't sing in the shower!
I see people my age rock climbing and mountain climbing. I feel good if I can get my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
After this long, extended virus lockdown, I've reached a point where my errands are starting to count as going out.
If you have to wear a mask and glasses you might be entitled to condensation.
How have we managed to survive all of the flus, diseases, etc in our lifetime? It's easy! Our mothers wiped dirt off of our faces with spit on a hanky - not antibacterial wipes! Who knew we were getting free antibodies?!
Don't be worried about your Smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years!
Happy Friday! Love is in the air! They say "love is a many splendored thing", and so I thought it might be a-propose for some Valentine giggles about marriage to get ourselves in the right frame of mind for the weekend ahead. Believe me, this was no half-hearted project for me; I put my whole heart into it! I know you're getting excited, and can heartly wait, so let's get pumpin' . . .
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't even notice.”
A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: It read: “Wife wanted”. The next day he received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.”
If a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
"I married Miss Right. I just didn't realize her first name was Always."
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, Honey, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?" Her husband replies, "Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades."
After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies. "You go first", he said. Mine read, “Be quiet for a little while.” "Now it's your turn", I said. His read, “Talk while you have a chance.”
My wife just nudged me and said, "You weren't even listening, were you?". I thought, That's a strange way to start a conversation. . .
An interviewer asked a married couple what their secret was to their long and happy marriage. The husband chimed in, "My wife and I always compromise." "I admit I'm wrong, and she agrees with me."
Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office. A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee. As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband. When he saw me, he shouted, “Are those potato chips?”
I hope some of these made you laugh wholeheartedly!
I heartily wish each of you a very Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy your weekend! 66 days ago
SHARON10002 F - Forgive yourself for your mistakes, and take the next step. E - Eat like you love yourself. B - Believe you are beautiful - inside and out. R - Rise each morning with a positive attitude that it's a new day with new opportunities. U - Unless you move, the place where you are is the place you will stay. A - Accept your flaws - everyone has them, and be gentle with yourself in spite of them. R - Remember you are loved by many others. Y - You deserve your own love more than anyone else.
F – Focus on the present moment for that is really all there is. O - Only when you are kind to yourself, can you show kindness to others. C – Calm your mind, breathe, go within, and discover your true beauty. U – Under every circumstance, do your best – for that is ALL you can do. S – Self love is not selfish.
Happy February! Let this month's focus on LOVE begin with YOU! Be kind and gentle with yourself. Remember to do this by getting into your heart, and follow your heart more when it concerns you.
It's Friday, and with much of the country having snow this week, I thought you might appreciate some winter jokes. For those of you who live in the Northern states, I know that winter is snow problem for you. By now, all of you snow how this works - You read . . . you laugh. However, if you don't like them, please don't give me the cold shoulder.
Why do bees stay in their hives during the winter months? 'Swarm
A wife texts her husband at work on a very cold and icy morning. . . "Windows frozen, won't open." Her husband types back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it." Wife texts back five minutes later: "Computer is really screwed up now."
What do you call a hacker stuck in his house during a winter blizzard? Edward Snowed-in
Yup, ol' man winter paid us a visit. This morning I had to scrape the ice and snow off my windshield. I used my supermarket's loyalty card. I only got 10% off.