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My DH and the kids! We went letterboxing that day.

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Me when I was little.

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I have been "trying to lose weight" more than half my life at this point. You know where that has gotten me? To 322 pounds. I am done. Clearly this isn't working for me. I have spent my life with a focus on weight, fat, calories, and guilt. It ends now. Well, actually, it ended sometime several months ago.

To say I "gave up" wouldn't be entirely inaccurate. I gave up the "trying to lose weight". I also gave up the guilt over food, the razor sharp focus on every little morsel of food I catch the scent of, and I gave up my desire to lose weight. Yep. Totally giveuptitude.

What is more important are the new ideas I am replacing those old ideas with. I am now more interested in having a strong healthy body than in the size it is. I am more interested in enjoying my food for all of the wonderful sensations, textures and flavors it can provide. I am more interested in finding confidence and good self esteem, and I am more interested in changing my old mental tape recorders to be positive and zen-like about the world around me and my interactions within. I am more interested in not just playing catch-up and putting out fires all of the time, I am more interested in enjoying my life, my children, my husband, my family, and the wonderous world around me.

Yep, I am done with the old way of doing things. I can't do it anymore, I have to find a new way. And so I shall. I know it's not going to be easy but the life I live now is not easy. All things being equal, I would rather spin my gears in a positive direction than engaging in a negative struggle fulfilling self made prophecies about failure and inability to thrive. Yeah, that's done. I am moving on! Come with me, won't you?

Member Since: 6/3/2009

Fitness Minutes: 1,268

My Goals:
To have a strong healthy body. To let go of past baggage. To establish reasonable boundaries and learn how to protect them. To be a positive role model for my girls and for others in my situation. To be positive and grab life and live it!

Also, I really want to do a triathlon :)

My Program:
1. Control my portions.
2. Choose nutritious foods that feed my body most of the time.
3. Eat at consistant intervals to prevent overeating and bouncing sugar levels.
4. Don't drink calories most of the time.
5. Take my medications/vitamins as the doctor ordered.
6. Avoid grazing between meal times.

Exercise how ever I can whenever I can, just get moving.

Personal Information:
I am a mom with 3 children. My husband and I have been married since 2001, and we are still in love! Professionally I have worn many hats from Tech Support to MLM Marketer, Insurance sales, Real Estate Agent, and many many other hats (I can say with confidence that I hate sales). Currently I stay home with the kids. I am also a Girl Scout leader, non-religious wedding officiant and aspiring author.

Other Information:
Books and Programs I find informational, (other than SparkPeople of course):
-Eating Normal for a Normal Weight
-Four-Hour Body
-Power 90
-Body for Life
-South Beach Diet
-You on a Diet

These are the books I found most useful in learning about good nutrition, good tips for how to make nutritious eating automatic, and what kinds of exercises are good for the goals I have set, and how to set appropriate goals for myself. The first book has taught me a lot about how to let go of the compulsive need to diet. Read these books for the educational aspects, but be wary of the programs as most of them are not quite sustainable in my opinion.

My favorite Yoga dvd is Yoga Conditioning for Weight Loss with Suzanne Deason

I love walking on my treadmill with some feet moving tunes on my mp3 player. I bought a Sole F65 treadmill and am very happy with it's performance.

Read More About AWESOMEANI - Profile Information moved here. (Updated October 8)

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 Pounds lost: 24.0 
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